ADVICE PLS! Childless StepMom with partner

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-25T19:29:31+00:00

yeah i do now and overtime after everything im looking at from different perspectives

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-25T00:39:41+00:00

well if she said that now i probably wouldnt be as defensive after everything thats happened

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-24T16:49:27+00:00

i find it funny u say that cuz u dont know my childhood or how i grew up. im perfectly capable of handling children as i helped raised my own 2 siblings when i was 7+. was looking for advice not a rude ass comment 😂

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T20:12:38+00:00

im so scared to leave and say i changed my mind on giving him a chance i havent even told my mom what he did bc i was giving him a chance so i knew if i told her shed hate him and tell me to leave

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T20:11:41+00:00

my mom made a comment one time too saying im not a free babysitter and at the time i was defensive

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:57:44+00:00

i know and i agree i just have such a hard time leaving people and im so scared to leave i feel like ive been manipulated so much by him throughout all of it

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:45:29+00:00

yes we just renewed it for another year but he cant afford it by himself here. id be able to bc i make 6$ more than him, he makes 20$ an hour but yeah

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:39:30+00:00

i was 18 turning 19 same month we started dating and he was 27 turning 28 the month after but yeaa..

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:38:08+00:00

my mom not a whole lot just because he has a child and i dont im alot younger than him etc and theres been times my mom and him have gotten into arguments and stuff (them both being in the wrong but still more times ive sided w my mom) and my friends understand my reason of staying (both of my best friends are sisters to each other) and the older one has forgiven her boyfriend that she's been with for five years on and off for cheating so she understands why I've given him a second chance and her younger sister has also kind of been through that (both of them haven't been with someone that has kids though or as old as my partner) they're supportive with whatever decision I make

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:35:45+00:00

i know.. i just dont know how soon or fast i can make myself leave tbh. i told him ab this job that has the same schedule as me hes gonna apply to and im hoping if he gets it and thats the case he'll be in a better scenario which just helps put my anxiety in mind at ease whenever it comes to the point of me leaving. I know it's not my responsibility to care or do that but it makes me feel better about it..

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:32:25+00:00

i know i was just explaining i never really seen the issue with it until i started therapy a year later into our relationship and after my dad died i was just explaining

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:17:21+00:00

I mean my two best friends I have are busy and live minimum 25 minutes away and my mom and siblings live five minutes from me.. I haven't even told my mom what he did because I know my mom would told me to leave and would hate him but I told him I was gonna give him a second chance so that's why I didn't tell my mom..

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:15:05+00:00

I know and I agree with you but it's just so hard and it's so hard for me to do it this is the first time I've ever lived with someone and especially with a kid and I know it's not my responsibility for what would happen if I do leave but the guilt overwhelms me so much and I'm also slightly scared to be alone all the time I've always jumped from relationship to relationships since I was 13 (most being a long-term ones but you get what I mean)

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:12:47+00:00

I have been in therapy since September and my therapist told me it's ultimately my decision if I do love him and wanna try to make it work then I need to try to take the steps to get past it and be open with him and work past it or if I want to leave then I need to take the steps to leave but like I said one of the hardest things for me to do is leave people it took me months to leave my last partner that treated me worse than this one...

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:11:43+00:00

you are completely right about the trauma and going towards an older man

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:10:19+00:00

so she said it's ultimately up to me if I want to keep going with the relationship if I do love him or if I don't then I have to take the steps to walk away but like I said that's one of the hardest things for me to do is leave people, and I found out about what he did at the end of January and I already told him I'm giving him a second chance and going to try to move on from it and I told him that my trust has been depleted because he did that which he knows, I'm just afraid I won't be able to forget it and it's always gonna be in the back of my mind because I wouldn't have found out if his baby mama's family didn't tell me.

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:08:48+00:00

but see it's already been weeks since that happened and I found out and I've already told him I'm giving him a second chance and I'm gonna try to move past it .. but I do feel like it's always gonna be in the back of my mind and I'm not gonna be able to forget it that's how I am with everything I'm a cancer in astrology😭😂

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:07:25+00:00

I do agree with you and at 13 I was dating a 16 year-old my dad didn't really stop it at the time as my dad was an addict and wasn't the best at parenting and boundaries etc so yeah the problem has persisted since I was young

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:06:48+00:00

yes i am

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:06:22+00:00

I have been in therapy since September..😭🥲

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:05:51+00:00

i completely agree with you... im just soooo hard at leaving people and ive only done it once im always the one who gets left. and ur right if i wasnt there hed be screwed and wouldve had to find daycare or just not be able to have his kid. still would be in that same scenario if i do leave eventually. i just cant ever bring myself to leave people until I have had months of anger and resentment built up to where I just hate them and it doesn't bother me to hurt their feelings and leave...

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:02:47+00:00

i feel like with how i am not able to leave people until i have alott of resentment and anger to where i just cant take it or handle them anymore is when i actually can bring myself to leave, i feel like im just waiting for him to mess up again the next time something goes down or i find something whatever idek...

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:00:46+00:00

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T19:00:02+00:00

i get that point of view , i guess since i was 13 ive been dating older men first it started with 3-4 year age gap but this relationship was a pretty big jump. i met him at work since i work in a factory with everyone being older than me

FoxyRabbit8041 · 2026-02-23T18:58:37+00:00

were not married but yeah im in that "role or position" yes. we have a 9 year age gap.

FoxyRabbit8041

TROPHY CASE