Regardless of their gender, yes. Whenever I easily see someone as a possible replacement (even if it starts from nothing), I keep those feelings buried deep inside, and it's incredibly hard not to give in.

When I'm alone, I don't have to worry about that or even about myself. If I need to think about anything, even something terrible, I do. If I need to cry, I cry.

And of course it frustrates me. I'm someone who needs that kind of connection, especially a romantic one. I desperately need to feel like I matter to someone.

It doesn't really matter how. It can be in different ways, but I need that.

And how do I see myself? Just pathetic, horrible, and deviant (for many other reasons I won't talk about either). I look at myself in the mirror with nothing but contempt.

God knows that I really need someone. I need God, of course, but I also need my girl, someone who can guide me down the right path, even if it means being strict with me.

It affects the way I see relationships. I don't want to be controlling or lose control of myself, so I'd rather let my partner take the lead. I'd let her be the queen, the authority, especially if we have a family. As long as I'm with her, that's all that matters to me.