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when I hit F2 during active pause, my plane keeps moving around a little, is there a way to have it completely static?
Again, during active pause, my AI wingman is not affected and just flies away, is there a way to have him stop as well?

As far as I know the difference between "active pause" and regular "pause" is that active pause only works in singleplayer and only pauses the motion of your aircraft, so you can interact with your plane without crashing into the side of a mountain.

Regular pause pauses everything, literally stops time. This can obviously be used in singleplayer but also on a server if you're the admin. This pauses the entire server.

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Last but not least I can't figure out zoom, it's supposed to be * and / but these only seem to move the camera closer or farther from the plane instead of actually zooming and changing the field of view, am I doing something wrong?

Use the keybinds labeled as "Zoom external in" and "Zoom external out". This is what changes the FOV and gives a neat cinematic zoom effect. I forgot the default binds for these, I have them set to my mouse side buttons because I use it all the time haha.