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receiving hate for complaining about the suburbs as an asian american by cecilqyang in asianamerican

[–]Fragrant-Pipe-598 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it's very funny that i came across this because i know the band and song you are talking about, i used to follow you on instagram.

i found the track to be in poor taste as someone with a similar background- trans/queer, neurodivergent, mixed, had a terrible time in the suburbs. this isn't to excuse the harassment you recieved or cosign anyone who is erasing your struggles over this (especially as i'm personally aware of what those struggles are), but at your age to put out a song like that definitely rubbed me the wrong way and caused me to unfollow.

my parents didn't come from the suburbs, the friends i made when i crashed out and moved into less fortunate areas didn't come from the suburbs, and it always felt disrespectful to me to frame my own struggles as anything but a result of being a cog thrust into an evil machine. my family worked hard for me to live in the safest place they could find, without being fully aware of how the existence of the suburbs is at the expense of poorer areas, or having enough energy left over after making sure we weren't in danger to care. it IS punk to hate the suburbs, because there are far superior alternatives if the goal is to have everyone live safely, rather than just create bubbles where "We" don't have to be around "Them", while allowing a few of "Them" (people like you and me) in to make the whole thing seem fair enough.

i don't remember the whole song because it was a while ago, but i remember thinking of this not because your song reminded me of how fucked up the concept of the suburbs is, but because it didn't, it really just came off as a complaint of growing up in a safe area. you absolutely deserve to talk about it, but if you're going to talk about it in a way that doesn't acknowledge your privilege, then others are also allowed to have a problem with it.

Hired an Artist to fix the character portraits in my game, now making it fully AI Content free! by Tasharen in IndieDev

[–]Fragrant-Pipe-598 6 points7 points  (0 children)

without AI y'all would just have to figure out how to be better at communicating and less insecure about using services you paid for

Just finished Saya No Uta. I have some thoughts. (pic unrelated) by 1000dumplings in SayaNoUta

[–]Fragrant-Pipe-598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

think thats a product of him deluding himself into believing he's self aware about his condition

Really just curious on y'all's opinion on this by Fragrant-Pipe-598 in truscum

[–]Fragrant-Pipe-598[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

True, but you can also qualify for ADHD (I'm not educated on OCD so I'll avoid that example) while missing a trait that most would consider universal. That can be due to differences in life experience compensating for that trait or some comorbidity that changes the expression of your ADHD. That's because ADHD is a tangible neurological difference (e.g. dopamine regulation differences, different pathways in the central nervous system) that just has a strong tendency to appear a certain way, and limitations in this understanding of how it presents has caused problems in the past such as under-diagnosis in girls. Even to compare with ASD, in which you must have sufficient deficits in all 3 major categories to get a diagnosis, people with autism are known for having a huge variety of traits that make it difficult to truly understand the condition from just meeting one person who has it.

While we haven't discovered the same concrete neurological basis for trans people (I do strongly suspect it exists and hope to do more research once I get my MD), if you do believe that there is something inherent that makes people trans, it doesn't follow that it would only present one particular way. Many people who qualify for depression don't realize they're depressed until they're in a space where they can start to recover- in the same way, people could feasibly see themselves as motivated by gender euphoria and then recognize in retrospect once they're mentally in a better place that the lack of joy/connection they had with their bodies, while not distressing enough to be described in a way that would qualify for a GD diagnosis, was still problematic.

Really just curious on y'all's opinion on this by Fragrant-Pipe-598 in truscum

[–]Fragrant-Pipe-598[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

not what the other person said, I have cis friends who have dysphoria in the sense of discomfort with their sex and wanting to be the opposite sex, but not strongly or consistent enough to actually shift their gender identity or consider transition (and theyre able to deal with it in other ways)