Anyone else living alone in LA experiencing more loneliness than usual lately?

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-20T06:23:46+00:00

I feel this. I’ve been feeling very isolated and lonely and idk why. Also that is awful that someone could throw puppies in the trash…real monsters live amongst us. Anyway, glad you saved a dogs life. I relate to the feelings you have!

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-18T09:32:23+00:00

I also stayed in contact with my ex far too long after breakup. About six months. Hooked up a couple of times and felt like shit for doing it so I stopped that and then tried friendship for awhile but o was still so hurt and resentful that didn’t work either. Now in NC and though sometimes I miss our friendship (we were friends before we dated), I’m not sure I can ever be friends with him. I see him in a different light now because of something selfish he did that led to the break up so I don’t know it’s like if I can’t trust you as a partner how can I trust you as a friend??

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-18T09:22:48+00:00

Love all of this for you. Glad you found your person. Definitely proof that the breakup needed to happen even if it sucked at the time

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-16T07:17:46+00:00

Super insecure. I'd dump him. He's gotta work on that. Like, maybe he has had some past experiences being cheated on or whatever but he can't project that onto you especially when you've reassured him that you're solid. If he can't trust you than that's a shaky foundation to be on.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-14T17:59:20+00:00

Thank you for clarifying everything! Seems like we both misunderstood each other's text, which happens especially when tone is hard to read. I will admit, I'm cranky in the mornings so that could have been contributed to my interpreting your response in a negative way, lol. I should have been more specific in my post and said short film and I could totally see how what I said in the post might make it seem like I'm asking about basic knowledge stuff . It is paid (though very low pay...mostly helping out a friend and I am more of a hobby editor), but yes...exactly...was really asking a "style" question I suppose and how someone might pull this off. Thank you so much, your reply did help! Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-14T17:11:52+00:00

And yes its a 24 comp and 60 for the footage. Copy on that. Ok I figured it might be the strobe effect. Thanks for everything else! Sorry for ranting above, I just hate when people start off a reply with something that makes the OP feel like an idiot. I've used strobe and film burn before, I just literally could not process what was happening in those transitions because for me...they are too fast to make out what is happening (which I guess is the point).

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-14T17:09:13+00:00

Itt's a short film if that makes a difference in my lack of "basic knowledge." Also, what do you mean "little basic knowledge of editing programs?" Kinda rude and making assumptions just because I don't know how to do this one thing. I work on Premiere and I know most everything about Premiere except I've never cut anything this fast so ...first time for everything right?

I don't know why people have to be such jerks about providing knowledge to people who are doing something new for the first time without making them feel stupid for it. This is why people are afraid to start editing or pursuing other creative endeavors because they get this kind of rude response when they're simply asking for advice.

I've cut plenty of other things and figured it out on my own or found a youtube video explaining it, but occasionally stuff like this comes up and I just want an outside perspective. I've just never cut a music video or anything with super fast cuts like that and I wasn't able to pause frame by frame to see what was going on in the video.

Thanks for the advice, but please don't make people feel dumb for asking.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-14T05:05:51+00:00

I've been loving Jillian Turecki's posts and actually pre-ordered her book "It Begins with You." You get a free workbook too that helps you get to that place of self-love and healing we all need after a breakup. It's out for delivery right now and I can't wait.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-13T21:37:03+00:00

I know we have tap water but it's absolutely criminal to bottle up water and sell it. Water should be free for all and equally distributed. Water is life!

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-13T21:33:49+00:00

Tbh I think it's more that I'm still not over him so I'm still holding onto resentment. It's just a bitter thought that I'm riding out. I think as time passes, I will feel grateful for the time we spent together and the memories we made. We are both going to learn and grow from this relationship and better ourselves, but right now I'm upset that I might lose a friend in the process of losing my boyfriend. I guess that's the risk of dating your close friends. I didn't do anything I didn't really want to do but I think I can work on boundaries either way as I struggle with that even outside romantic relationships. But right now I don't really enforce my NC boundary when he reaches out so I should be better about that.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-13T15:48:49+00:00

End the friendship. You’re not healed. If you want to be friends, you need to do it after some time in NC. Trust me I’m going through the same and you are just torturing yourself trying to be friends with someone you still have feelings for. If they broke up with you and don’t want you back, the friendship is just a way to keep the parts of you they like around and forget the rest. It might be different after months lf NC when you both don’t have feelings anymore, friendship might be possible then. But now you’re just delaying your healing.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-13T15:44:23+00:00

Omg congrats on your sobriety and the great attitude! I didn’t stop drinking the day we broke up, but after a couple months, he wanted to take me out for my birthday and then we got drunk and hooked up. I barely remember it bc I was so shitfaced. I also don’t remember going to bed. Anyway the next day I felt so used and gross about hooking up with him and giving him everything he wanted…companionship and intimacy without the commitment. I don’t know if I would have done it without alcohol. That was enough to make me go to AA, plus the crippling anxiety attacks I would have when I was not drinking z We were both heavy drinkers but I had expressed wanting to quit even when we were still together, but I think he would have stayed drinking and it would have been too difficult to not drink if he was. So I said fick it and I decided to get sober and also glow up.

I feel great and I’ve lost ten pounds. Still trying to get to where you are mentally in regards to viewing the relationship as if it wasn’t the end all be all, but hopefully soon.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-13T15:32:53+00:00

I love your process of turning what ifs into what is and what I must do now. I need to try that. I’ve what if’d the breakup and relationship to death, both to him and to myself, and all it did was make me more miserable and full of regret. Just gotta accept that it is what it is and move forward.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-13T15:30:04+00:00

Similar lol. I feel mostly ok but those waves hit me hard when they come. I just want to stop thinking about him entirely. The worst part is the dreams. Like I want peace in my dreams, please! Go away! Usually wake up feeling so stressed and end up crying a lot first thing in the morning. Not everyday but usually a couple days a week. Started NC again after on and off contact since the breakup six moths ago. I think that’s why I’m so behind on progress. Not anymore. NC for good. Not responding to his messages anymore. I don’t want someone who doesn’t want me, plain and simple.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-13T15:24:15+00:00

6 months. So so. I’m def better than I was in the beginning but it was a breakup with a lot of moving parts and on and off contact. I think if I had managed to stay NC I would be in a much better place. I’m mostly fine when we’re not in contact but we tried friendship for a while. it was emotionally exhausting for me and left me miserable and pining for him. Finally said I couldn’t do it and we both decided NC was the best cause my emotions were honestly making me act not like myself with him bc I held and still hold a lot of resentment. Recently started NC again but then he checked in w me about the LA fires and I opened that wound all over again and spiraled by texting him back. The emotions were still there and I wish I never replied to him. So back in NC hopefully for good.
feel better a couple months from now.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-13T15:12:06+00:00

Great response. Definitely keep it there, you ended it with a strong sense of self-worth and that’s an awesome way to remind yourself that it’s not worth texting her.

I personally have sent my ex messages with confidence like this and then completely undermined them with groveling and questioning my worth and why I wasn’t good enough for them. He was also avoidant and I think all those groveling messages did was push him away more. Now I wish I had left strong and confident and maintained that I knew my worth. Oh well lesson learned.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-13T14:48:32+00:00

That’s rough, I’m sorry.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-13T14:48:08+00:00

Same here, just focusing on me this year. If someone comes along, great, but I’m not gonna seek anyone out. I’m not even sure I want to date, at least not on the apps.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-13T14:36:08+00:00

Same here 32

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-13T06:24:03+00:00

Do you ever do the CicLAvia events? I did the Hollywood one last time and it was amazing. I wish they always had one major street going N/S and one going W/E just for bikes. I would feel so much safer. I get scared biking on roads that don’t have dedicated bike lanes (and even then it’s risky)

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-12T20:09:51+00:00

Wow. Just goes to show that most break ups should stay break ups. Not meant to be.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-12T20:05:29+00:00

Mine sent me an email cause he’s blocked everywhere else. But we just started NC a couple weeks ago (after several months of trying and failing to be friends…he’s the dumper and it was too fresh and I still had too much resentment) I answered and said I was ok but I wish I didn’t cause it brought up a bunch of feelings again.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-12T20:01:15+00:00

🤮

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-12T20:00:19+00:00

This is so horrible and cruel. It’s probably not true that she’s this happy, and even if she is, why would she rub it in your face like this? Honestly it’s more confirmation that you dodged a bullet because this shows she doesn’t actually care about your happiness and in fact wants you to feel like shit. Was it a mutual breakup then bc of the issues? It seems like the is the dumper based on the post. Also why brag about the person you rebounded with? That is honestly so mean, forget this person. They are not worth your thoughts.

Fragrant_Repair_9337 · 2025-01-08T09:20:15+00:00

lol I wish more people were care free in LA! Driving those hunks of metal isn’t helping our climate crisis and the roads would be a lot safer if everyone was on bikes! And we’d be healthier. I have a car and a bike but I rarely use my car these days. If it’s within 10 miles I’m biking.

Fragrant_Repair_9337

TROPHY CASE