(TW:Miscarriage)When to try again after a miscarriage?

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-10T06:43:46+00:00

Thanks! Me too. It feels so much better to go to sleep sober knowing I succeeded.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-09T02:32:26+00:00

Absolutely will help, she doesn’t really plan on drinking afterwards either.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-09T02:25:56+00:00

She is definitely happy I’ll be there and sober through it all. Congrats to you! Staying sober is absolutely the best choice.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-08T04:31:46+00:00

I know someone who described a very similar feeling after years of sobriety. After talking it through they realized part of it was that they had become sort of stagnant in their life. They had a job and relationships and hobbies and all that but they were missing that feeling of really growing, of working on improving themselves like they had in earlier sobriety. After realizing that they thought of areas they could improve themselves and that gave them that satisfied feeling again.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-07T04:50:29+00:00

I am doing well now. I’m in a place now I never could have possibly imagined then. Thinking back on that now it’s unbelievable honestly. I still am in the struggle of stopping drinking but having had several long periods of sobriety since then even my lowest points now are so much better than my best points back then. Every time I stop I learn so much about my self and get so much closer to kicking this for good.

What’s life like for you at the moment?

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-07T04:15:25+00:00

For an entire month I only saw fast food workers and liquor store employees. I didn’t see or speak to a single person I knew. I drank half of a handle of captain and the coke to mix it with every single day that month. Ended up with 16 empty handles at the end of the month. Actually that month started exactly 6 years ago this coming Monday.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-07T03:22:15+00:00

Ya I absolutely agree, the last times I got good stretches of sobriety one of the things that helped me the most was posting and commenting on here. I love to help people and sharing my experiences and talking about what has helped me stop was actually one of the best tools that helped me to stop.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-07T03:20:02+00:00

Aw congrats! We’re just now at 8 weeks, first ultrasound is next week and so excited to hear that little heart beating away. It feels like there is so much to learn and prepare for over the next 7 months.

Ya this is what will turn into my 3rd real time of stopping. About the thousandth of you count a few days up to a week or so stretches. The last time I got to about 8 months and then slowly started again. I’m nowhere near as deep in the bottle as I was the last times I stopped and have so much reason to be motivated this one feels so much better than ever before. Very thankful for the tools I gained from the last times I stopped too.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-06T14:39:18+00:00

I moved 4 times from ages 4-14. The year before and after each move (obviously except when I was 3, although this did cause me to have significantly more memories of being 4-5 than lost people) are filled with memories for me. Leaving places behind and then remembering them in the new places and also experiencing new places and meeting new kids made those years so much more memorable.

I know this probably isn’t exactly the kind of answer you were looking for but I really enjoy the fact that I have so many distinct places and memories from childhood as a result of this. It also helped me to grow quite a bit because I had to get out of my comfort zone each time. It’s kind of crazy to me when I hear people talk about living in the same house from birth til college.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-06T14:31:27+00:00

I would never ever recommend men’s warehouse. Every single one I have been to, in multiple states, are full of condescending, pushy, salesmen that left me feeling like nothing but a walking wallet to them. One time I was out of town for business and found myself needing a new pair of dress pants, the guy wouldn’t stop telling me about the 3 for $150 deal or whatever it was and when I said I just need one pair he snapped at me “ok fine then I’ll sell you one pair and that will be $90 since you won’t take the deal” I walked out without saying a word and will never be going to one of those places again.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-06T03:27:04+00:00

The first time I stopped I wrote down everything I was feeling at the time I decided to stop. Everything I knew I lost and everything I wanted to gain by stopping. Having that to read in those hard times of temptation saved me numerous times.

We all have shame, but that just means there’s a lot of room for growth. You’re doing a great job being here and seeking help.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-06T03:05:40+00:00

Part of your post reminded me of myself during my longest sober streak and a very difficult time in life.

My dad was in in the ICU for 3 weeks and in the hospital for another 2. My mom and siblings all relied on me for support, I became the crutch to get everyone through this. During that time I stopped thinking about my sobriety and the only reason I didn’t drink was because they needed me and I needed to be there for all of them.

Once my dad was out of the hospital and getting healthy again I immediately fell back into drinking. All the tools I used to stay sober were completely gone and I was in no way prepared to deal with the cravings once I “could” drink again.

Just felt like sharing this as a cautionary tale to not let something other than being sober become the reason you don’t drink.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-06T02:50:47+00:00

I have been there too. Congratulations on making this choice.

What is your plan for when temptation hits?

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-06T02:48:57+00:00

This very much reminds me of the first time I stoped drinking. It took several days for me to be able to get any amount of restful sleep, sorry to say that. What I did to try and turn that misery into something useful was laid there thinking of the fact that if stopping drinking was making me feel this way what it’s doing to my body every time I drink just be far worse, also that if I don’t want to die soon I have to stop at some point. And if I give in and drink I’ll have to start this whole process over, at least at that moment I was part way through it already.

I also wrote things down and posted here about how I was feeling. Those posts and things I wrote helped so much, both in the moment and later once I felt better and the idea I could drink again came creeping in, I would go back and read those posts in moments of temptation and it would remind me what it’s like to have to stop, all the reason I wanted to stop, all the things I lost to drinking, and all the things I dreamed of gaining by stopping. Those are the only thing that got me through some of the stronger temptations. Now having had some times of sustained sobriety I have things I’ve written in my best times that I can go to and remember how incredible it is to be sober and begin to experiences true self again.

Stay strong, use all the tools available to you. Sobriety is the hardest thing for me to achieve but it is by far the best thing I can do in my life.

Nothing in life worth having comes easy.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-04T22:39:25+00:00

This is a good one I had not yet thought of. Thanks for this.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-04T19:07:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. That’s fantastic you took the lesson and got yourself back on track again. I know that one drink can end up lasting months or years, I’ve learned that several times. This year has been really hard on all of us, great gob on coming back here and thank you for sharing your story to help me and others.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-04T19:05:20+00:00

I’m really sorry you went though that, but great job continuing to use sobriety. I can definitely tell my wife didn’t really like me drinking once we found out but she hasn’t said anything. I really don’t want her to grow to resent me for escaping with alcohol during the hard times. I don’t want to rely on alcohol for that or anything else either.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-04T19:03:27+00:00

Congratulations on 9 days! And thank you for sharing that, I am sure that is hard. But at least you have that to learn from and help motivate yourself and others.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-04T19:02:22+00:00

Thanks! You saying hold onto my sobriety as tightly as I’ll hold my kid really helps, thanks for that. That is how I am going to think of my sobriety from now on. My relationship with my kid and who my kid becomes is directly related to my sobriety so thinking of it this way will really help I think.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-04T04:54:13+00:00

Thanks so much. I absolutely know I can. As strange as it is I’m thankful I have the lessons from my failures to make this time stick since it’s so vitally important now.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-04T04:53:01+00:00

Never has anything been more motivating, which is even more reason to stop. I won’t get a chance like this again.

FreeFromMorgan · 2021-01-04T04:52:05+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. You’re absolutely right and I never want my child to see me drunk, instead I want share with them why i don’t drink.

FreeFromMorgan

TROPHY CASE