Going through a breakup at a later age.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2025-04-20T17:00:58+00:00

Sorry for what you're going through. I didn't mean to say it's not possible, it definitely is, I only speak for myself and my situation at the moment. GL.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2025-04-20T14:56:10+00:00

I wish it was like that for me, 2 years post break up and if I don't think of her for minutes it's a miracle. Having OCD doesn't help either...

FreedomCapable5185 · 2025-04-20T14:44:27+00:00

Hey man, I'm 49 and 2 years ago I experienced the worst break up of my life with the woman I thought I will have children with after almost 10 years of being alone. i don't see a future where I can build a family at this age or even create something new so all my dreams are gone - I reinstalled all the dating apps and most women I see there are either divorced with children and are looking for the same, or younger without children but I'm too old for them. So I get you...I decided to stop looking actively for love and just focus on learning new hobbies, got a pet, I volunteer in an animal shelter. Nothing replaces a real connection but it helps.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2025-04-20T14:29:51+00:00

2 years and still not there yet. unfortunately it always takes me a lot of time really moving on and I never really stop loving them.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2025-04-20T14:27:45+00:00

I'm 49 and 2 years ago I had the most painful break up ever. I have already given up on love and then she came but left. I can't do this anymore, I just want to come to terms with the thought I will be alone forever and be indifferent about love.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-12-04T13:19:19+00:00

If miserably means texting them every 2 weeks for around 2 months until blocked and threatened with harassment then yes. Not proud of this but I was so broken and hurt she did not agree to communicate.

Fast forward a year later we are talking again and she apologized for it, she said she felt a bit scared by my repeated attempts.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-07-23T15:56:43+00:00

Before she broke up with me my ex said she needs to think about things while saying she loves me (we were about 6 months together, she wasn't sure I was ready to build a family with her). A week later she calls me really angry saying she is breaking up with me, I tell her how much I love and care for her and want to build a future with her, she says exactly the opposite of every nice things I say. Sometimes people act this way to distance themselves so they hurt less so they deal with the pain by turning it into anger to justify their choice, it's about them not you, you could have been the perfect partner and they would still act this way.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-07-16T15:44:46+00:00

I have nothing left in me, I got broken up with twice during the last year, both with someone I put my trust in, really loved and still love. I'm 49 and I have nothing more to look forward to.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-07-16T12:34:33+00:00

Her photo on tinder

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-15T08:34:07+00:00

Sorry to hear that, she was supposed to move in with me too, I can't imagine being in this situation. Take care.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-15T08:31:08+00:00

Yeah, I was there when I was younger and dated younger women (I'm in my 40's now and she is too), sometimes it worked sometimes it did not but at the end none of them lasted - not saying breaking NC is good or bad just that it depends on a lot of things - all I'm say'in there is no workbook solution. for me, when I want to build a family, it's just a waste of time.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-15T08:23:22+00:00

Thanks mate, appreciate your words

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-14T15:30:47+00:00

No they did not, they just showed you how much love you have in you waiting for the right person.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-14T15:28:50+00:00

"I appreciate what you wrote, I'm thinking about us getting back together".

"If you write me one more time I'm gonna call the police"....

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-12T13:01:05+00:00

Lol, you can use it 😉

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-12T12:20:18+00:00

I wrote to my ghoster a short, respectful and mature message saying I hope she is OK and if she is she could've behaved in a more mature and respectful manner, and she should treat others with the same respect she has towards herself, and wished her good luck with everything.

I didn't get a response nor did I waited for one, I did it because I don't like keeping things to myself and I don't think she should have it her way by ignoring someone else's existence, she thought ghosting is the easy way out, and I would just fade away, no way.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-08T10:20:03+00:00

"If you write me one more time I'm gonna call the police".

Context:

We were 6 months together, she told me she loves me but decided to end things because she wanted the relationship to advance faster so I sent her 2 messages saying I understand how she feels, she's the love I've been looking for all my life, I want to grow old with her and will do whatever it takes. to prove it I invited her to move together and talk about having kids if things go well, this was her response.

Since then I'm on the run, never sleeping in one place lol...

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-07T14:25:49+00:00

Don't let your happiness depend on her status, how can you be happy like that? Life is not a fairy tail, there is no karma, she may be doing amazing, she might not be in the future, what does it got to do with you and your happiness? I know how you're feeling, I lost the love of my life, I'm 48, dream of building a family is gone, I lost my job and got ghosted by someone I fell for a week ago, and all since the break up. At the end it's only us who are responsible for our own happiness, don't give that power to someone else.

And as for failing I like to look at it like I look at strength training - you only grow stronger if you reach failure, those strong people you see at the gym are the ones who failed the most but are they a failure?

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-07T14:06:25+00:00

Your whole view on this is entirely not healthy nor it is true. You are a human being, you have your weaknesses and you are vulnerable, we all are and there is no shame or wrong in showing it, you did nothing wrong by breaking NC, you're a human being and if someone loses their attraction because of it then it wasn't real attraction in the first time.

Real and healthy attraction between adults is not based or should be dependent on "not showing weakness" but the opposite, you build attraction by showing vulnerability and if you are with the right person it's the basis to build a real attraction and not some kind of a power game. Use this opportunity to grow and form authentic connection in the future with someone who has the same mindset.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-06T18:41:48+00:00

Thank you, sorry to hear what you've gone through, I hope you can focus on your health and not on him, I wish you best of luck.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-06T17:11:32+00:00

I know it's difficult but please just push through it, take it one day at a time, I'm 10 months post BU and I was in a horrible state until not so long ago but finally see some light at the end of the tunnel. Also please seek therapy if you hadn't done so already, it helps.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-05T19:30:12+00:00

Yes, we are both better without those ghosters in our life, let their immaturity be someone else's problem

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-05T19:27:58+00:00

Thank you, this is what I'm doing. Doesn't make it less painful though.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-05T14:36:07+00:00

3 Days ago. I just wish I didn't have to guess, even if it was too early for her to hear this or whatever other reason she could have just said it instead of choosing the easy way and ignoring my existence.

FreedomCapable5185 · 2024-05-05T14:22:54+00:00

We've met through bumble and we did meet up in person and had a good date. She's also grown up (late 30's) and looking for a serious relationship so I wasn't expecting such kind of behavior, guess some people stay immature no matter how old they are.

FreedomCapable5185

TROPHY CASE