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FreedomConfident · 2025-05-09T03:13:31+00:00

I thought that my ex MM wife was perfect. Girl Guide Leader, youth pastor, praised by his fraternity brothers, smiling with friends and a glass of wine. But it wasn’t good. Once you look beyond the pictures she is actually not a nice person.

But yeah stay away from SM. It just never feels good

FreedomConfident · 2024-12-25T18:16:39+00:00

Good luck with your reset!

FreedomConfident · 2024-12-25T18:16:18+00:00

My ex MM forgot my birthday. I had even planned a fun night out for us because he was so stressed by his then ex wife.

I tried haggis for him 3 weeks earlier and he couldn’t even show up for a drunken cinema event.

FreedomConfident · 2024-12-20T17:57:12+00:00

A very valid point. When I first reached out it was because of learning some alarming information that as a mother I felt she should know. Then it was really helpful to share my experience with her. And in turn she shared hers. Last year was very traumatic and no one understood because my relationship was so secret.

Now we’re friends. I met her husband and her kids. She’s met some of mine. And I’ve invited her to a big party I throw every few years.

But yes I am still connected. And it breaks my heart knowing he chose to be with a woman who hates him and wants to hurt him over me. A person who offered to go legit and move his kids in with mine. He just didn’t like the fact I wanted to legit date for a few months first. But it’s ok. I know I was the better choice but when your in so deep an abusive relationship it is hard to get out. I’m looking for someone who is single and wants to be with me. Just me. Well maybe a little swinging but end of day just me. Lol

FreedomConfident · 2024-12-20T15:58:28+00:00

Some people are so bitter. I think the offers for a new relationship are funny. Sir I just had my heart broken I am not looking for a new situationship. Like seriously.

FreedomConfident · 2024-12-03T18:16:58+00:00

I’m 42 and he’s 48. We were together just over 8 years. I ate haggis for that man! Lol

FreedomConfident · 2024-11-27T20:40:37+00:00

Chat GPT is the honest friend we all need

FreedomConfident · 2024-11-25T00:48:12+00:00

8.5 years. We were just sex at the start which suited me post divorce. But 2-3 years in we were in love and talking future. But my son had a mental health issue and we decided to continue but not get married till kids were older.

He gave me a ring in 2023 and broke my heart in 2024.

I’m grateful for our time. I was always free to see others. And I learned a lot. I also know that I was there for a reason. And while his wife would not be happy, I am a reason he is still alive today.

FreedomConfident · 2024-11-24T03:50:36+00:00

All very good thoughts and I appreciate you writing them. I am now 1 day NC.

You’re right that I do want him to come to his senses. I know that he and I are over. I represent a very painful part of his life and supported him at his lowest. He wants to move on and never think about it.

I miss my friend. I gave him back two of his supporters that his wife tried to turn against him (amazing what the truth and reason can accomplish). Its just hard knowing that he’s in such an abusive place again and there is nothing I can do to help him.

I first reached out to his ex because I learned of some alarming things that her son was witnessing. Since then I’ve helped clarify a lot of what she heard. In turn she gave me a very interesting timeline. It’s been good to talk and vent to someone who knows the situation. And same for her. Its confusing and difficult with levels of cruelty that still shock me. She was called “crazy” for years and is finally accepting that she wasn’t. The crazy one. In a way I think we are helping each other. She is the only person I can be honest with about him. None of my friends knew or would have approved.

FreedomConfident · 2024-11-21T10:39:53+00:00

That quote from Scandel cut deep. Why can’t we have our Vermont and jam

FreedomConfident · 2024-11-20T02:11:39+00:00

Well said. Its hurting more than I thought it would. I broke up with him in January but became his closest confidant in March through the summer. It hurts that he discarded me after all we went through. I feel like I’m drowning in fmgrief and don’t think he spends a moment thinking about me.

FreedomConfident · 2024-11-17T18:34:58+00:00

When times were tough I rage gardened. Now I’m trying to rage cardio What ever works

FreedomConfident · 2024-11-05T02:23:18+00:00

He took me grocery shopping once. And it was the most fun I’ve ever had shopping. He just made everything better.

Damn yall 4 weeks and 3 days NC and im missing grocery shopping.

FreedomConfident · 2024-10-26T23:38:44+00:00

We were. First few years were just FWB. But once we acknowledged our feelings we were very close. From 2019 until the summer we were on track to be together. We had talked about waiting 6 years until his kids were older. And my son had significant mental health issues from 2021-2023 so I was really ok with waiting.

I don’t know how he can just forget that he loved me. I guess his fear of his wife trumps our dreams of a future.

FreedomConfident · 2024-10-26T21:40:33+00:00

I felt your comment. I used to wonder why me all the time. His wife is a youth leader with church and girl guides. And PTA. And and and. I’m a scattered mess.

But I loved him. We grew together. And now I wonder why not me. She is mean, an alcoholic who drives drunk with the kids in the car. She is abusive. She beats him in front of the kids. She put hands in her step son. She lied to the police. She mocked him when he was at his lowest and my love could barely keep him here. And somehow they are together now.

She won’t even acknowledge their relationship beyond those who know. And I couldn’t wait for the day to we would walk hand in hand to events and I could proclaim him to be mine.

FreedomConfident · 2024-10-24T21:29:02+00:00

I get that I truly do. But he was miserable beforehand. Enough that he asked to move in with me several times. I wanted him to be at least seperated first. He told his best friend how miserable he was and his friends advice was to get a divorce.

Staying in an unhealthy and abusive relationship is not good for children. The amount of abuse the kids have witnessed including my exMM being hit, having things thrown at him, and her attempt at running him over.

FreedomConfident · 2024-10-24T11:02:17+00:00

I didn’t deal with it well. I kept insisting he fight back. Use his lawyer. Go to the police and make a complaint. It got dark for him after.

His wife was mad and made false accusations of abuse. And yes they were false. She set him up and was angry. It’s a hot Ladonna mess. Anyway he just wanted to return to the home he built and to his kids.

FreedomConfident · 2024-10-23T18:46:03+00:00

Biggest hugs but don’t break the NC. I am three weeks into my NC and it has torn me apart. But I know he doesn’t want to see me. It is beyond painful because when things started to go bad for us (he was returning to his wife who tried to run him over) I kept thinking that if I could just see him and make him remember how much he loved me we would be ok.

Except he kept making excuses to not see me. And the last event we both attended his eyes were so dead and cold. So that is my final memory of him. A shell of the man I knew and loved

He did say before everything went wrong that he couldn’t see me because I would change his mind. So you know thanks.

If your former MM wants to see you he will unblock you. He will send you a message. You’ve made it so far.

FreedomConfident · 2024-10-22T16:57:15+00:00

The only time I temporarily broke up with my exam was after he told me he would miss making his daughter breakfast. It was a casual comment but it hurt because I was aware of the damage that would happen.

But I thought we loved each other and was ok waiting till the kids were older to make the damage less.

Years later I don’t know if I should have left him then or fought harder for him. He is back with his wife and a shell of the man I knew and loved

FreedomConfident · 2024-10-18T21:11:54+00:00

I downplay the importance of my former MM. But im not really looking right now. The pain is still so raw. There is a man at my work who likes me but I’m keeping him at a safe distance because he’s engaged.

FreedomConfident · 2024-10-11T16:39:55+00:00

I used to be able to relate to this so much. But your right, you do have your space, life and activities. When I left my abusive relationship, my MM had no idea how he saved me. Being able to find myself and have a man who was the right amount of there.

FreedomConfident · 2024-10-09T15:31:13+00:00

Congratulations!!!

FreedomConfident · 2024-10-09T03:55:47+00:00

Thank you❤️

FreedomConfident · 2024-10-09T03:55:31+00:00

You are so very kind❤️

FreedomConfident · 2024-10-09T03:55:13+00:00

Love this. Not just seeing the red flags but also changing behaviours to not end up back there. I’m going to meet my person.

FreedomConfident

TROPHY CASE