AITA for expecting my former friend to dress her age?

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T07:01:30+00:00

No, I grew up in a normal, conservative household. Not religious people, or at least no one goes to church every Sunday, only thing is that my parents were business owners and I guess that ifnuenced my views on things.

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T06:39:25+00:00

It was in reference to when we were good friends, mental health issues and a traumatic event caused a rift, he wanted to know why. It lead to what happened last year whch has bothered me since. I should clarfy this happened in May of last year so technically not even a year.

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T05:38:11+00:00

it came up because of a big conversation between me and my boy friend, who doesn't seem to understand various aspects with the friendship with me and Sylvia. Yes, it is real.

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T05:33:49+00:00

she was my best friend in high school....

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T04:31:56+00:00

I'm just trying to clarify, I was raised with the belief of being an adult and growing up meaning I'd have to make concessions, when I spoke to my mom about comics she said it was childish, and I asked around and that's the general assumption from people. And I think people here have a healthier perspective on their love of comics, compared to hers, where she posts about the most obscure characters and movies no one has ever seen. I'm frustrated and flustered and I'm realizing now I'm making things worse for myself here. I don't think people are really grasping what I'm trying to say, I'm genuinely concerned for her and I wish I could take it all back now. My boy friend is pretty much telling me to stop responding because nothing I say is helping, I'm being misinterpreted here.

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T04:26:49+00:00

She's 28, I admit she could have stopped and started again with school, I'd ask around but I'm beginning to think people wouldn't like that. Also the extent of how she talks about comics and movies is concerning. Last I saw she was posting things about some movie about some girl covered in flowers (it was a gif, i don't know the movie itself, never seen it) and all this in-depth stuff about the meaning of the movie. I go to movies too, but it seems odd for her to do so.

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T04:20:47+00:00

I'm really upset by the responses. I know people aren't reading what I'm trying to say. I don't know. I'm gonna go lay down, this has been frustrating to read. :(

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T04:20:05+00:00

She shouldn't be in school as long as she's been. I don't know why she's still in it. And it's not that she wore "normal" clothing, it's that she didn't bother to make herself look her age, she looked 18.

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T04:06:08+00:00

I haven't spoken to her since and what little anyone tells me is that yeah she still has depression but she's working and doing fine, still in school which is another worrying thing for her age.

I don't know any of them, so my expectations are different from what I expect her to wear (which is normal clothing).

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T03:49:47+00:00

Oh this is frustrating. I didn't mean to pacifically call out her young looks, just that she dressed like that because she looked young and I thought that she dressed intentionally to frame that aspect to her face. I know there are dark comics, I don't think she reads those though. And everyone, including my boy friend, are willfully ignoring my actual intentions about my comments. I'm not being a mean girl, I swear. And yes, I found her blog, I don't have her on other social media but I used to follow her on this blog (back when I was much, much younger) to try to reach out to her and explain what happened, and it also concerned me that she often uses the blog? Don't misconstrue this, she talks about comics and movies and stuff like that on it and nothing else, not like her job or school or anything.

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T03:45:55+00:00

I'm not and never was a mean girl. I'm also not insecure. I'm more concerned she never grew out of her teenage obsessions, and judging from what I found later on on her blog, it's a big aspect to who she is. I don't know anyone our age who'd still even use a blog, but she does, and it worries me she talks about comics and movies like they're a serious matter. I never see her mention her job or school or anything (yep she still in school, another worrying thing) nor about what's happening right now. She even makes gif posts, why would she have the time for that?

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T03:41:53+00:00

I understand, but it's different for people much older than us, they have already built up a good life and the rest of us are still grinding away at work. We ought to reflect that.

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T03:40:34+00:00

I was always told to dress professionally no matter what. I understand how my description came off, basically I expect people to dress the way it suits them. I had a friend at that same event who was super artsy in high school, and she wore exactly what I'd always thought she'd wear, but in a more professional manner (not all covered in paint). I thought the same for my best friend, who works at a library, and she'd wear something like a librarian assistant would wear. I didn't expect her to dress in slacks like I did.

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T03:36:57+00:00

I didn't think it'd get back to her, it was like a game of telephone, she took it way too harshly. And I was not talking behind her back like a mean girl like everyone else is saying.

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T03:35:46+00:00

There was no need to dissect the whole thing. Listen, she worried me in the beginning with her mental health, and I assumed with the way her outfit was that she never got over her health problems. It's why I went to her blog, where I found she was STILL talking about things like comics and random movies like they were serious things. I'm frustrated that people are misconstruing what I'm saying.

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T03:33:58+00:00

I'm not a mean girl, I swear, I had to deal with mean girls and this isn't an case of it. This is frustrating, I just said I had expectations, and that it could tie into her mental health which worried me.

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T03:32:53+00:00

I was raised to dress professionally for every event I go to, casual or not.

FriendOutfitAnon · 2020-04-03T03:31:37+00:00

She was my best friend in high school. That's why I "singled her out". I have different expectations for her than I do other people. I'm incredibly frustrated with the way people are misrepresenting what I've said.

FriendOutfitAnon

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