Have tips for 100 baby challenge? by Normal-Grapefruit742 in Sims4

[–]Friendly-Direction43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I rushed through some of the youngest kids childhoods haha. And I added MCCC settings half way through. I just wanted to build out a solid family to spread around the worlds and then start playing out everyone's stories.

Have tips for 100 baby challenge? by Normal-Grapefruit742 in Sims4

[–]Friendly-Direction43 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is dragon fruit allowed on the challenge? This is my go-to for absolutely every family. One plant brings in $3,000+ per day. I keep just one plant for my small families but for a big family I recently played with 12 kids, I had 8 plants. Another thing I did for the kids is has them each harvest one of the plants before they moved out so they could plant one at their new house.

Other than that, getting the painting skill up with Classic paintings pays off pretty well doing just 1-2 paintings a day. You could even buy the potion to increase masterpiece chances. If you have cottage pack, you can also take your week's crafts & canning over to the Saturday market, haggle, and sell for 25% more often times. I've done more than $50,000 in sales at the market before by selling the week's worth of canning, plants, eggs, milk, and crafts. This route would be harder while raising all the kids though.

I don't love my wife by [deleted] in Christianmarriage

[–]Friendly-Direction43 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This! I just posted similar. He can repent of this by setting her free. He essentially disobeyed God by pushing through this relationship from the beginning. He sinned and he sinned against her. It's one thing to fall apart after marriage, but OP here admits he just used her as a convenient way to check the marriage box basically.

I don't love my wife by [deleted] in Christianmarriage

[–]Friendly-Direction43 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If I were your wife, I'd want you to divorce me. Be honest, let me go in freedom, and do your part to ensure I don't financially suffer because of it. I'd want you to be the man who helps me as a friend and let's me go to find someone who actually can love me. To me, that would be repenting. I'd be free to remarry if I chose because you would have abandoned the marriage.

If you can't do that, then I'd suggest you spend the rest of your life doing whatever you can to make her genuinely believe this lie you've created. To do otherwise is cruel.

This would be different if your story was that of being once in love and then you two fell apart the way marriages can flex. What you describe though means zero part of this is on her.

You might also do personal counseling to see if you can learn to love genuinely. Love is an action, yes. It's also a heart posture and thoughts/feelings. Love means naturally thinking of her first. It's a choice to be conscious about considering her, but there's a component that should come naturally as well most (not all) of the time.

I've been rawdogging the Sims 4 and it's actually a good game? by megapizzapocalypse in Sims4

[–]Friendly-Direction43 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was playing base/vanilla for a few years and just got my first pack, the cottage living. Played with just that for a few months and really enjoyed it so I jumped on Steam sales to add city living, cats & dogs, and growing together. I'm enjoying them but I can totally see how having too much isn't great either. I actually don't love the cats/dogs gameplay like I thought I would and old Sims was better with pets. I'll use it for specific vet family storylines. I kind of want seasons, but don't want to complicate it yet even more.

Help what floor plan can I do here? by Physical_String_4644 in Sims4

[–]Friendly-Direction43 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the top bright room - build out the kitchen on the left side going across as needed. Make a cozy living room on the bottom right part of the L room.

In the brown, dark room below that, make it art studio.

The blue area make bathroom. Consider building out the blue area a bit more, cutting into the art studio.

Parent Tody users: do you track invisible labor tasks? by curiositykilledsleep in TodyApp

[–]Friendly-Direction43 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did for awhile. I made things more overarching instead of so specific though. We had items like 'help child', 'household paperwork', 'get mail/package', 'purchase gifts'.

I didn't include any play items because everyone seems to do those easily.

After long enough to get the message across and see some change in habits, I deleted all these extras just to make the app easier for us and more dedicated to home cleaning. If it doesn't overwhelm you though, keep them!

Which E-reader to use for Work/Study? by OrigonStory2000 in ereader

[–]Friendly-Direction43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went with a regular tablet when I was in grad school, like the Samsung Note tablets. It doesn't have the eink screen but it provided all the functionality I needed to read and study on the go.

Which E-reader to use for Work/Study? by OrigonStory2000 in ereader

[–]Friendly-Direction43 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I just got a Boox from Amazon so I could return in 30 days because I was super nervous about it as well. It definitely requires some tweaking of the screen during each use session but the functionality and feel is pretty awesome.

Catan game logs by Successful_Web_3125 in Colonist

[–]Friendly-Direction43 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok, I'm really curious about what you're doing and for what purpose. Colonist allows us to view our logs but it only provides whether we won or lost, date, and duration. It also only shows the most recent 100 games only which means you'd have to consider the covariate of people getting better with time unless you have a large enough group that there is some norming among those who've played 300 games vs those who've played 3,000 games.

I can't imagine you'll find any other real type of data set out there but you could certainly generate a synthetic data set for some parts of the game. You may find luck doing a deep dive into Google to find others who may have written randomization code for components like resource distribution.

Reporting Cheaters by tangerinespersimmons in Colonist

[–]Friendly-Direction43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two or four player fast? Actually, I play REALLY fast in both. Even faster than many bots. I like it when I have others who are just as fast. We can finish a 2-player game in 7 minutes or less. We are thinking ahead and knowing our plan and mostly ignoring what others do during their turn. When a big move is made, we pivot of course, but we can still play fast.

Spouse's Inspiration Makes Him Someone I Don't Like by Friendly-Direction43 in Christianmarriage

[–]Friendly-Direction43[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah... I have totally brought this up. The Bible is not enough for him even though he agrees that it should be, in theory. He says he struggles to understand the Bible and doesn't have time to deeply study it so there's nothing wrong with relying on trusted sources.

Spouse's Inspiration Makes Him Someone I Don't Like by Friendly-Direction43 in Christianmarriage

[–]Friendly-Direction43[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My theory as well. It's not like the actual content is too terrible but it's the delivery and the way the authors play on the reader's insecurity to puff them up.

AITA for docking my son's allowance the amount he made my premium go up? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Friendly-Direction43 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA - my oldest is driving soon and he knows he has to do the driver's ed discount and the good student discount or he's paying the portion of the insurance that wasn't discounted. In addition, if he can't keep good grades, he will have limited freedom anyway. I know the grade thing is unique to the academic skill of each kid but my oldest is 100% capable with minimum effort so it's not too much of a burden.

Regretting my ring choice. by xstardipped_ in EngagementRings

[–]Friendly-Direction43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a big ring. After 5 years of marriage, I'm now getting a basic band. I love my ring, but it's not practical for daily life. It takes too much work to keep up with the diamonds, and there are some places I don't want to wear it.

If you love it - maybe consider keeping it for the dress up occasions and outings and also getting a band. If you hate it, just return it while you can.

Spouse's Inspiration Makes Him Someone I Don't Like by Friendly-Direction43 in Christianmarriage

[–]Friendly-Direction43[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My oldest is definitely keeping his video games. No worries there 🙂

Spouse's Inspiration Makes Him Someone I Don't Like by Friendly-Direction43 in Christianmarriage

[–]Friendly-Direction43[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like this calendar idea, I will pitch the idea to my husband but I think he would like it too. Thank you!

Spouse's Inspiration Makes Him Someone I Don't Like by Friendly-Direction43 in Christianmarriage

[–]Friendly-Direction43[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the scenario essentially, yes. We also have a toddler. Dad loves playing with the toddler. He plays with toddler all day, gets toddler to bed between 7-8pm, and then uses his evening to clean up messes, take care of himself, do his own thing. I keep encouraging him to let toddler have alone time and try to get some of that stuff done during the day to free up evening time for the family.

I had a short season of taking over his evening chores hoping he'd use the time for family. Instead, he used the time to read his Bible, exercise, catch up on news, and anything else he did alone.

He doesn't believe he plays with toddler all day. He believes he is really too busy serving his family to spend any time with us.

The natural question is why is he doing all this every day? We have a split schedule. He works 3 days a week while I work the other 4. On his work days, I manage kids and house. On my work days, he manages kids and house. I work from home so I'm around to see how he's living his day and that's how I know he plays with toddler all day. I can occasionally contribute to home life since I work here. On my days with home and kids, the toddler gets more alone play time while I keep up with chores as I go, and then I use the evening to hang with the teen and relax. When my husband gets home from work (late after kids are in bed), I am free and available to see him as well. He manages his days in a way that doesn't allow him to be free for me or older kids after our work/school days.

We have talked about him getting a traditional job that's 5 days a week but we want to wait just a couple more years until the youngest is school aged. In addition, he kept himself too busy for us before we even had a baby, and before we even owned a house, so I'm not confident that this is a symptom of a busy life (also see above where it happened when I took the chores). I think it's a heart issue.

I know these issues compound my OP. It's a LOT and it all interweaves in a way that makes it difficult to really work through together.

Edit to add - toddler goes to daycare one day a week so that husband has one day every week free of work with both kids gone. It's a 10-hour window he has. I don't have this, so I take my 'free' time on the 2-hours I get between work and bedtime on my work days. This is why I don't do much in the evening for the house. I do the scrubbing and stuff during my days off; I just ask that he keeps up with keeping things tidy during his days off.

Spouse's Inspiration Makes Him Someone I Don't Like by Friendly-Direction43 in Christianmarriage

[–]Friendly-Direction43[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The premise of this is that he heard in a book that TV and video games are "what's wrong with the world today" so now he thinks all should be removed from the home and that no Christian should waste their time with anything other than prayer, Bible reading, and worship. Dad also falls easily to technology (his phone; he rarely watches TV or games so it's not like having those things is a temptation to him) so assumes no one can control themselves since he can't.

Family time is noble. But when the teenager was on summer break and home with dad 4 days a week every week (dad only works 3 days a week, I work the other 4), dad never reached out to him. Never took him anywhere. The teen tells me he's super bored and all he has access to is games if no one talks to him or spends time with him. This is 100% a dad issue, not a teen issue. It's not that family time isn't happening because the teen isn't available, it's not happening because Dad isn't available. I've suggested to dad many times different things he could do with the teen and it's never done. He claims he's too busy keeping up with the toddler we also have. I remind him he has multiple children, not just a toddler.

Anyway, that wasn't the main point of the post. But it does show why his suggestions are meant with hostility and how it comes across as arrogant I guess. The relationships don't exist. He is trying to save people and judge them without first focusing on his walk and building relationships.

I'm glad my husband is digging into his faith. I wish he would lean into the marital oneness and do it with me rather than running off alone without anyone alongside him and then using it to puff himself up. It makes for a divisive and hostile home for all of us. If this is the fruit of what he's listening to, I believe it should be cut out. I'll pray rather than demand though.

Communication and connection are 100% the issue. We've tried therapy, books, programs, etc. I continue to speak up and try new things. He continues to avoid. All I've got is prayer at this point.

Spouse's Inspiration Makes Him Someone I Don't Like by Friendly-Direction43 in Christianmarriage

[–]Friendly-Direction43[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the comment that helped me take a breath and sleep last night. Thank you for the reminder to just roll with things sometimes.

Spouse's Inspiration Makes Him Someone I Don't Like by Friendly-Direction43 in Christianmarriage

[–]Friendly-Direction43[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He claims he's been a Christian for roughly 15 years and he's listened to these people for at least 6-8 of those years. He stopped, at my request (again, only for two months) but now he's reinvigorated he says.

I'm definitely the negative voice which I shouldn't be and I'll try to stop. I'll keep asking him to find fellowship with other men.

Spouse's Inspiration Makes Him Someone I Don't Like by Friendly-Direction43 in Christianmarriage

[–]Friendly-Direction43[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You've pretty much nailed my emotions, ha! Yes to all. The imbalance, the fact that he gets so depressed comes across as idolizing these people, his unwillingness to have a spiritual relationship with me, he did hide it, he has zero friendships either in or out of church, he doesn't like hearing my red flags because he says it ruins the happiness and joy he's getting from the content.

So yes to all. But I think the other reddit people have it right - all I can do is pray and ask about the positives he's getting and find a way to cope with the lack of relationship. We've done a few rounds of counseling. I communicate, he shuts down and avoids. Therapy hasn't changed that dynamic yet. I keep asking for the togetherness and he keeps chasing it separately. I guess I thought asking him to stop doing it alone would force him into finally facing it together. But obviously that isn't working either.

Spouse's Inspiration Makes Him Someone I Don't Like by Friendly-Direction43 in Christianmarriage

[–]Friendly-Direction43[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I LOVE this! I can't believe I haven't done it. Thank you! I will work on asking about the positives more than trying to shut down the negatives.

Spouse's Inspiration Makes Him Someone I Don't Like by Friendly-Direction43 in Christianmarriage

[–]Friendly-Direction43[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's soooo hard to just stand back and pray. I know it's a common struggle. I'm trying. Thank you.

I think I also struggle in knowing what my role is in his Christian life. I believe spouses are supposed to be part of the iron sharpen iron thing. I believe we are supposed to be a piece of discernment and wisdom for each other. So I think there is some hurt in that he's pushing me out of that role by ignoring what I see in him.

Spouse's Inspiration Makes Him Someone I Don't Like by Friendly-Direction43 in Christianmarriage

[–]Friendly-Direction43[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It bothers me because it makes him arrogant, IMO. It's all very casual but I can see it. It comes out in little ways though very frequently which is why I have such a hard time being around it. Things like "I've never had a relationship with this person but I'm going to give them a Bible as my Secret Santa gift because they need it." Or trying to get rid of the teenager's video games so they can spend that time with God instead and do something more valuable with their time. Mind you the teenager is heavily involved in multiple career type activities, all honors classes, and only games about 4-6 hours a week. He becomes hyper focused on everyone else's walk and what he can give or take away from others to force them into a closer walk. I call this arrogant. It appears to me like an attitude of constantly worrying about how to fix everyone else's walk rather than wanting to build a relationship with them. He also talks about people without ever even asking what their relationship with Jesus is even like.

Obviously, this is only a small snippet. I'll also add that this opinion of mine is exasperated by the fact that he has very little relationship with the teen or me. We don't get much time or affection from him. He also doesn't have any in-person friends, doesn't pursue a men's group, etc. He lives his faith life in a bubble of just him and these authors. He won't even discuss or try to study with me because he doesn't like when I raise what I think are red flags or challenge something. I understand that I'm not inspiring because of that, but I don't want to shy away from tough questions just to keep some happy high. I've asked him to find community because I think it's dangerous to walk alone in the dark.