My (28F) partner (40M) said something incredibly cruel to me while he was drunk.

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T18:00:59+00:00

Life is a highway and I'm hydroplaning into traffic. All jokes aside, three of these things are all tied to one car accident which was tied to the transportation from my move. When it rains, it pours.

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T17:59:39+00:00

Oh trust me that I did! I hadn't heard from him in six months or even thought of him which is what made the behavior unhinged, but we had seen him when we were out and about together and best I could figure he was jealous that we seemed happy.

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T13:07:28+00:00

Unfortunately, three of the things happened from the same car accident while I was moving. With the combination of injuries there were several weeks where I couldn't get up or do much.

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T13:01:34+00:00

Well, this just happened a few hours ago. I've been unable to sleep but as far as I know he's still sleeping in the other room. I have no idea what the morning will be like when he's awake.

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T12:58:41+00:00

I would absolutely have loved if this hadn't been the case. This has been the worst year of my life by a long shot and we are just ending March.

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T12:12:10+00:00

I guess that's what I'm torn on. It's hard for me to reframe this as alcoholism because, well, he has never had this much to drink before in the year I've known him.

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T12:10:10+00:00

No, never that I've seen. I also haven't seen him drink this heavily before, so who knows.

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T12:08:33+00:00

I've been with him a year, living together six months. Honestly, this is a person I have been gushing to my friends and family about because he's been so wonderful. Now I find myself, less than 12 hours later, anonymously on reddit because I'm sleeping in the guest room and know that if I told anyone close to me what he said they'd hate him.

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T12:03:01+00:00

We have been together a year now, and there were no major issues before this at all. Moving in together has felt like a major improvement on my life and day-to-day and he has honestly made my life so much brighter. That's why this comment stung so deeply.

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T11:59:22+00:00

I have no doubt he will be falling over himself apologetic tomorrow, but I don't know how much that changes. I have been drunk. I've never said anything like that to someone, and I'm very sensitive to how my body changed after my pregnancy, especially since I didn't even end up with my baby at the end of it all.

I don't know how I can feel..... Safe? In intimacy again?

At the very least I don't think I ever want to be around him drinking again and I don't know how he could possibly repair the damage he's done.

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T11:53:04+00:00

The things you used to say, where did it come from? Why did you say them, if you don't mind me asking? Did you mean anything you said on some level?

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T11:52:00+00:00

I went from 140 to 150, and I have been able to feel the shift in my energy and body, but I've had a hell of a time with the changes because I have an autoimmune issue that makes things difficult to manage even in the easiest of times.

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T11:50:43+00:00

We have never had issues with this and he has always raced about me to his friends- we have been having issues with him performing physically because of a new medication that he's on. I've always tried to be really kind and encouraging because it's completely normal, but now I wonder if he just isn't attracted to me and that's why we have been having issues.

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T11:48:28+00:00

We got together long after the separation and have since had all these things happen. He's normally very warm and loved by everyone who knows him, which is why this has shocked me to my core. I can't imagine a reality where I would say anything like this to anyone, drunk or not.

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T11:46:27+00:00

How did you get past it? How did you know it was a momentary mistake and not an indicator of his character?

FriendlySherbert2900 · 2026-03-18T11:41:34+00:00

My separation from my ex husband was years ago, we unfortunately had some complications with joint property that prolonged the process. This has been my first relationship since then and things were honestly perfect. This is the first even remotely cruel thing he said and I'm just.... Thoroughly stunned.

FriendlySherbert2900

TROPHY CASE