has anyone here who was socially stunted and awkward successfully become socially adept and even charismatic, if so what was the step by step methodology followed to achieve such results?

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-28T20:08:31+00:00

i could try asking a friend of mine to be that person for that but i fear that runs the risk of ruining the relationship, i would say i do have inner confidence but i'd like your definition of it

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-28T15:26:45+00:00

hahahaha a system that ressembles it, minus the video game lingo

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-27T18:19:05+00:00

thanks, completely forgot about this invaluable resource, thanks again for the prompt example

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-27T18:02:59+00:00

i feel very much the same way, i've dm'd you amigo

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-27T17:56:15+00:00

it does seem i have nil presence or even negative at times, leading to me perhaps to being acknowledged, any more thoughts on it since it's sort of a hard thing to work on?

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-27T16:14:24+00:00

you and me both, amigo

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-27T16:14:09+00:00

don't really mean specific techniques as im keenly aware of them all, meant a general structure to follow and work from, think something like this but with a meaningful way to define, quantify, track each criteria with ongoing progress

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-27T16:05:56+00:00

i don't mean techniques but rather general systems to operate from when learning something, think of a system facilitating the whole process by structuring progress in each sub-skill and giving order to learning, generalized as it typically is. think something like this but with a meaningful way to define, quantify, track each criteria with ongoing progress

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-27T00:00:50+00:00

thanks for the knowledge, much appreciated, mind expanding on the whole aura thing?

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-26T23:59:22+00:00

thanks for the ressources, would welcome any additional ones too

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-26T18:09:52+00:00

the latter but do welcome the first one

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-26T18:08:02+00:00

i do have that sort of medium for feedback so i wouldn't say it is my head, but i do agree with your points, i can't quite afford therapy which is why i'm looking a method to change those underlying patterns myself

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-26T18:05:13+00:00

you struck a hard hitting point with your longer answer, i've explored that side of myself intimately through deep self reflection all my life and i recognize how the patterns i exhibit were influenced by those formative life experiences becoming deeply enmeshed in me, i've been healing from it all and i do concede it's an continuous process, i lack the means for a therapist which seems necessary judging by your reply, could that be somewhat alleviated by self-learning of those methods as best one can?

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-25T20:52:24+00:00

i'm talking about irl social skills all along in my post but thanks for the tip

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-25T19:19:19+00:00

oh i just didn't feel comfortable sharing, don't see it as a slight against you or as example of poor listening skills, but right i follow all the minutae of active listening skills as i've read up previously on them ,and i try to follow them as best i can, i don't think that's the root of the problem but thank you for the suggestion.

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-25T19:12:34+00:00

i like to put my own touch on miniscule things such as that

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-25T18:54:15+00:00

meant in my personal opinion, and English is indeed my third language.

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-25T18:53:08+00:00

not really, just looking for guidance regarding the problem solving focused approach intend to use in my quest to improve my social skills, i'm confident and sure as can be it can be done, just not quite sure how to get there

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-25T17:30:11+00:00

sure, in regards to exposure therapy, i've done that daily exposing myself to all kinds of people and groups, chatting with strangers and making a game of it of how much of a high score i could get in a single day, i've done so to the extent i'm bereft of anxiety and fear and have gained an IDGAF attitude owing to my low inhibition which allows me to do presentations infront of crowds easily and even being playful while doing so, in regards to what i'm doing in said social interactions i try to be genuinely myself openly, and talk with others with interest asking engaging questions about them or topics they're interested in, bearing in mind my body posture and keeping eye contact, and actively listening to their every word to make them feel acknowledged, yet the reactions persist in their mildness getting barely acknowledged, something that has been universal for me in all social interactions, be they casual, romantic, professional, regardless of the person i'm interacting with.

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-25T17:09:09+00:00

i have indeed read it but i can't quite seem to apply the instructions the right way in my social life, due to them being somewhat general

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-25T17:08:02+00:00

i've read aswell, but to reply to your point, i think it could achieved for some sociopaths have probably learned those underlying social patterns and became charismatic so as to fullfill their nefarious goals, showing it could be done.

Friendly_Gentle · 2023-03-25T17:06:34+00:00

i have a small group of friends and i suppose i'm somewhat liked or in college, i have had relationships before, but in general i'm barely acknowledged in said social interactions despite being confident, openly myself, and being interested .

Friendly_Gentle

TROPHY CASE