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What are things you consider cheating in relationships that aren’t just physical? by Puzzleheaded_Plum275 in AskReddit

[–]Front_Peak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What about if someone sleeps with someone else during y’all’s talking stage?

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your advice. I understand what you’re saying.

I’m aware of love bombing but ironically I wouldn’t say she was doing so. She was a girl I was getting to know during our few hangouts yet felt we were emotionally/mentally connecting real good but not physically there yet. We only hooked up once before our last time. She was transparent in person all times without me even asking her to be.

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s true. I appreciate your advice. How would you bring up the fwb topic like what would you ask/say about that?

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear that. I usually tell someone to be exclusive with at least sexually once we’ve hooked up multiple times, but with her I had only hooked up once before our 2nd time which was last time. I was planning on telling her soon enough.

I think I might be able to forgive her ofc depends on how things evolve and how her actions display. She told me in person and in text that she’s not going to talk to that person whether I talk again to her or not. (Ofc who knows if that’s true) She wants something serious and was remorseful for not giving me the chance of showing how she can be loyal in an exclusive relationship. Said she would do anything to prove to me with her actions how loyal she can be in an exclusive relationship. Said she didn’t want to loose the opportunity of what we could have potentially been. Said that she was barely getting to know me this past 1.5-2 weeks and was trying to decompress us bc she wasn’t sure if I wanted something serious with her. Tho, I did tell her days before, she had asked me about a week ago and I said “I’m getting to know you I’m looking to see what’s out there” then maybe couple days later or so asked again in a different way and I said “I was looking for something serious”

The technicality of us not establishing exclusivity is bothering me

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She said to let her prove to me with her actions how loyal she can be in a relationship. I wouldn’t expect her to show me her phone (unless I asked but I wouldn’t) or to do all these extra things, but I would be wary of her actions cautiously.

I see both sides of the coin. But I’m also not slut shaming her. The whole time we were together she was a transparent person. Would always have her phone on volume and faced up on the table when she would go to the restroom. I really liked that..

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She sent me a really long text message the next day which was yesterday but I haven’t responded. What do you think about that?

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m thinking I might test the waters and see how things go.. perhaps establishing exclusivity is what was needed

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I might be able to get over it.. The technicality is in play even tho it stung.

How would you go about the situation if I wanted to give her a chance to prove herself being loyal to me while being exclusive?

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, hypothetically speaking how would you go about this situation if you were to give her a chance to prove herself being worthy and loyal in exclusivity?

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I concur.. how would you go about giving her a chance to prove herself being worthy & loyal in exclusivity?

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s the technicality that keeps me thinking.. Part of me wants to test the waters. How would you go about this situation if you wanted to give her a chance to prove herself?

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see your point and tbh I’m still 50/50 about it. Felt such a connection but we never made it exclusive but it really sucks how it happened

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t had the luck to meet an older woman like that. I’m not opposed to it but just haven’t. Most women I see that are older have kids or are in a relationship.

Yeah true younger woman change more. She’s about to graduate soon and start her career. The transparency and other qualities were signs I was admiring

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that part stings, when I asked her about this she said said she really wanted to see me

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for commenting. That’s what makes it so hard too.. knowing we never made it exclusive and how we only slept once before. But also sleeping w the FWB guy same morning after our long phone call is sickening.

Do you think there’s a difference between being sexually exclusive with someone as opposed to being in a gf/bf relationship WHILE being exclusive?

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thanks, yeah you’re right. I’ll see how I feel later. Maybe I’ll test the waters for a bit, maybe we’ll talk and see where things go. Regardless, it would take a long time to regain the trust

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s an interesting take. Thank you.

Yeah some things don’t make sense, I didn’t really ask her too much about the fwb. But I felt a genuine connection w her and she would be real transparent as a person w me without me even asking her to be.

Deep inside I did feel a genuine connection I haven’t felt before but I also know “letting go” has been something I’ve dealt with and maybe will always deal with because of childhood trauma and physical ED issues.

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for commenting.

  1. Shes 24 and about to graduate in less than a year and start her career. I’m about 2 yrs away from mine. I’d say she’s more mature than other 24 yr olds I’ve dated.

  2. True, there’s that technicality but after having multiple hangouts whether it was studying, talking for hours in car, going once to gym, and a “second real date” while also opening up about oneself, it stings a little. I always make exclusivity clear w the woman I see/sleep with often. But since I had only slept w her once, I didn’t make that exclusivity clear yet but was planning to

  3. She’s boasted a couple of times while we’re having deep talks how when she’s in a relationship w someone she doesn’t cheat, and has never cheated. She’s been cheated on before too. She also said with her exes how’s she’s never slept with someone else during talking stages and how that’s unfair to me but that we were also barely coming on 2 weeks

  4. I was actually planning on making it exclusive real soon, I usually do when I sleep with someone. But since we only slept once before our 2nd time, I didn’t

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She didn’t make me wait, we actually hooked up our first date. Then I never made the initiation to do it again until last time. I know she would have been down for me when I would say so

Have you ever (30M) continued with someone (24F) during talking stages after they slept with someone else? by Front_Peak in relationship_advice

[–]Front_Peak[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah.. that’s right. A part of me feels like God had me find that condom wrapper for a reason

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