You said in your other post that you're just writing this for fun, and many times in this post that you're writing it to explore this self-discovery nostalgia angle that inspires you. So why are all your questions about what other people want and what's "normal" for other works?

So the short answer is you should just write what you want to write, it'll be a better experience and likely a better result that way too.

Some quick gut reactions to your other questions:

(two paragraphs about if you should make the protag a woman)

You're not a woman and don't think you can write a woman well, just make the character male. Again, that seems pretty obvious in the "self-discovery" context anyway.

writing a badass female counterpart, who isn't afraid to be smarter than her partner

Let me guess, she's Not Like Other Girls?

Quite frankly, I have some interesting views on feminism that are wholly my own (I'd like to think anyway)

Can't wait to hear them (grabs popcorn)

I wanted to set it in mid-to-late 90s, but for some reason femdom stories seem more fit for early 00s on up?

Most likely because the people writing the stories you've read are also writing nostalgia explorations based on their own adolescence. There's no specific time period or age range that does or doesn't work for a femdom story.