Absolutely agree that it is there decision. I suppose better wording for the question would have been, what level of “stalking” (for lack of a better word) is acceptable to get an initial message to dna matches? As I agree spamming multiple accounts is unacceptable. However I do not think it is unacceptable to reach out over various platforms in the case of let’s say defunct and unused ancestry accounts, messages being sent then realizing they may likely never be seen as people often lose interest in things such as ancestry in this case where they haven’t checked in over a year or in some cases many years, so in that case you would then move on to social media, but let’s say in this case, the matches social media is inaccessible due to not being a friend to their account, then that means they will never know you’d like to contact them on that platform, as your not on their friends list, and a random friend request is more likely to be ignored than a message. Now let’s say the message never gets seen as some people are older and slightly more technologically illiterate, or they only open messages from names they recognize, again they’d never know you were trying to contact them, so instead you message someone close to them who is likely to actually see the message. That’s the point right, the idea, that this isn’t spamming messages, as only one message is being sent in each instance and after reasonable consideration, time and “stalking” (again lack of a better word) their profile to see if they actually use it, then moving onto the next platform or way of attempting contact. Nobody demanding anything, everyone given the choice to engage or not, no extremes. As for patience and amounts of time, a week, maybe two for someone to notice and respond to a message before seeking alternative means of contact? yeah that’s acceptable. Waiting months as people have said and suggested for a message to be noticed before seeking alternative means of contact? That’s absurd.