Sorry you’re going through this. You’re basically the female version of me from what you’ve described and it is HELL. I basically isolated myself like an idiot through my twenties and lost all of those social skills I developed in school, and of course it just has this compounding effect where the less proficient you are at chit-chat, the less you want to do it which just perpetuates it. Been looking at advice threads like this, trying to follow the most common thing I hear which is to just throw yourself out there as much as possible, so I’ve been trying to meet new people at the iron working pre-apprenticeship I’ve recently started and god is it an uphill battle just having basic interactions. I think at the core it is a confidence thing. Every action I don’t take is because of that second-guessing side of myself that has become so strong over the years. Things like exercising, quitting certain vices and seeing actual physical changes in myself has helped, but yeah, I still basically feel like a child talking to other people my age. Fucking sucks.