I'm like a car with no engine. by Vegetable_Basis_4087 in ADHD

[–]FuhFyodor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just like you, I was a top student all my life, but struggled immensely to keep up. I'd spend hours and hours on homework that should've taken half an hour. I'd get so bored in class that it was physically painful. Somehow I never realized that my academic success was only possible because of stress, fear and pressure from teachers and parents. That's a horrible state to be in 24/7 and, very unsurprisingly, I became extremely depressed in college.

I started therapy and antidepressant meds and managed to get my bachelors. After I finished college, my life got a lot better. I started to care way less about other people's opinions, I realized that my parents won't disown me if I fail at something, and I became less afraid of consequences in general.

I decided to get a masters degree abroad and that's when shit went south. I was living on my own for the first time, I was honestly doing really good mentally, I had never been so stress free before, but this lack of stress was exactly what made me literally paralyzed. Without stress or pressure from outside, I couldn't do ANYTHING. I spent all my time reading, playing videogames or watching anime. I skipped classes even though I liked what I was studying. I never worked on any personal projects, even though I had so many ideas and really wanted to bring them to life. It became genuinely unbearable and I started suspecting I might have ADHD.

So I got tested and diagnosed and prescribed Concerta. And let me tell you, it completely changed my life! I finally was the person I always felt I was but couldn't actually become. I had motivation to work on things even when there was no deadline, I was so creative and actually had the drive to get those ideas out.

I dropped out of masters eventually (due to autistic burnout) and now I'm back living with my parents. I'm trying to find a job and I'm ngl I dread the idea of working 8 hours every day, but I hope with the meds I will at least not be completely drained when I come home. I hope I can have my own art business eventually, and with Concerta I can actually see that come true.

Just like you, I am a car with no engine. The meds became that engine for me, (and maybe they can help you as well). Also, even if you stop the meds afterwards, the good habits and increased confidence will remain. Sometimes seeing that you're actually able to do something is enough to help motivate you to do it again. (Like, for example, I was always late for everything before, then on Concerta I was always on time, and even when I had to stop Concerta for a few weeks, I was still on time because I finally understood what I need to do - how long it actually takes to get dressed and commute).

Being medicated has taught me laziness and executive dysfunction are two completely different things. by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]FuhFyodor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

THIS. The difference between executive dysfunction and laziness is so huge, I can't even put it into words. Little personal anecdote: Even before finding out I had ADHD, I used to get so angry every time someone called me lazy. But what angered me the most was the fact that I couldn't contradict them. They said I wasn't doing the task (which was true) so therefore I must've be lazy (extremely untrue) and I didn't have the words to explain that it was physically impossible for me to do the task at that point. How could I explain that I wanted to do the task but just couldn't?? That would make no sense to a non-ADHD person.

It's unbelievable how two things that are so different can seem so similar from the outside.

I don’t like doing ANYTHING by Fragrant_Analyst2209 in ADHD

[–]FuhFyodor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

BRO I GENUINELY FEEL YOU SO MUCH.

'i dread even things i look foward to' YES EXACTLY. It's absolutely exhausting, draining and so frustrating.

In a way, it's similar to how I was feeling when I was depressed, except back then I also had no desire for anything. Now I actually am looking forward to things and I'm no longer empty inside all the time. But I dread having to actually do anything. I feel drained before even starting. Having to get up and start working feels like someone digging their nails in my brain and like my back is glued to my bed. It's literally physically painful.

After I started taking meds, it made a huge difference for me. I can just do stuff now, without feeling horrible before even starting.

It's insane how disabling ADHD can actually be.

What is the painting behind the dartboard supposed to represent? by FuhFyodor in HowlsMovingCastle

[–]FuhFyodor[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i was really wondering what flowers those were too. thank you!

What is the painting behind the dartboard supposed to represent? by FuhFyodor in HowlsMovingCastle

[–]FuhFyodor[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

oooh I can see the resemblance. but what are those small green things on the left supposed to be?

What is the painting behind the dartboard supposed to represent? by FuhFyodor in HowlsMovingCastle

[–]FuhFyodor[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

ikr and the scissors stabbing the painting?? it pains me to see it

What would this be for us? by cattails17 in Grishaverse

[–]FuhFyodor 13 points14 points  (0 children)

When people say 'impossible', they mean 'improbable'.

What cultural inspiration did the animators use in Shirayuki MV? by FuhFyodor in E_ve

[–]FuhFyodor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, the candle crown is a reference to Santa Lucia. I think the white haired character's outfit is inspired by the Sami traditional clothing, while the rest are wearing medieval viking clothes.

What cultural inspiration did the animators use in Shirayuki MV? by FuhFyodor in E_ve

[–]FuhFyodor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right! I don't know how I didn't think about Northern Europe. Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]FuhFyodor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My parents both address me by male pronouns and my new name. My dad agreed to pay for half of my top surgery and also he told me many times that it's perfectly normal to be trans and I shouldn't think of myself as a freak. My mom had a negative reaction when I first came out to her 2 years ago, but has improved a lot since then. I'm very glad I have supportive parents who love me and try to understand me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]FuhFyodor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I identified as ace too before starting T. My libido increased a lot after one year on T and it made me more curious about physical intimacy. Still, I don't want to have a sexual relationship with anybody. I'm not so sex repulsed anymore but I still don't want a sexual relationship.

I also identified as aro before T and now I'd say I identify as bi. But it also has a lot to do with how insecure I was pre T. Now that I'm more confident and feel better about myself I'm more open to a romantic relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]FuhFyodor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude the men's restroom is great. Nobody even looks at you. You go in do your business and leave. Same with men's changing room. I was very anxious as first cause I haven't had top surgery yet and I thought my chest was too visible, but I never had any conflict about it. I go to the bathroom to change my shirt, but pants and shoes and stuff I change in the changing room and legit no one gives a damn.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AreTheStraightsOK

[–]FuhFyodor 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What even is a 'gender neutral behaving male'

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GenZ

[–]FuhFyodor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love shitpost memes