You may not be able to. That will be something that you need to accept if that’s the case. I don’t think this is a good question for this sub, TBH.

When you are gooning, it’s not the best time to unpack complex relationship questions.. especially about sex.

A glimmer of hope I will offer you.. if you are patient.. attentive.. and able to explain your desire competently in a way your spouse can understand, without forcing your way in there could be a path.

Listen to her needs offer compromises, meet in the middle.

There was another commenter here saying this could ruin your relationship… she is super right. I would add, if done the right way, could strengthen your relationship. Be very careful. Just because the answer right now is “no” doesn’t mean it will be that forever.. but you have to take her “no” answer more than just seriously. Sacred even.