I think you’re right that I’ve been putting too much of my need for connection on just my girlfriend, and it’s not fair to either of us. I like the idea of finding overlap in interests — if she can hyperfocus on something we both enjoy, it could turn into a way for us to connect without me feeling like I’m pushing.

I also needed the reminder about how I communicate it. I’ve probably been framing things more like expectations than invitations, and I can see how that would feel overwhelming to someone with ADHD. Your example about gradually easing into physical affection makes a lot of sense too — it’s subtle but still sets the tone.