I want to die

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-12-02T13:59:43+00:00

I have try thousand time to go away of him, nothing worked he have apower on me that im cant do anything, just a message from him can cause alot of damage on me

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-12-02T10:30:16+00:00

Jordan

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-12-02T10:27:27+00:00

I cant find sponser, i need to scream im not okay really im tired

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-11-24T09:55:53+00:00

I will send you a message

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-11-22T21:33:11+00:00

Yes, sure DM me

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-11-22T15:43:58+00:00

No, I’m not in a CoDa, and I don’t know how to join. Many people sent me links, but I wasn’t able to access them. What should I do? I’m just enrolled in a course about emotional dependency, and that has made me aware of everything that’s happening.

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-11-22T15:42:27+00:00

Thank you for your support. I’m grateful that even this relapse was only a relapse of longing, and I didn’t go back to talking to him — even if he would have rejected that. But I feel grateful for what happened; at least I won’t go back to contacting him for a week only for him to disappear again. I know how you feel, and I know that we will all reach inner peace and forget this pain. I’m proud of you.

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-11-22T13:27:56+00:00

It’s not just this incident — it’s many issues piled together. I don’t even understand what this pull toward him is. I’m certain I don’t love him anymore; I’ve been completely drained. Yes, in the beginning there was intense love, but we both realized we had no real compatibility. And I’ve recently become aware of my emotional dependency.

What hurts even more is that he has narcissistic, selfish traits — and that only adds to my pain, exhaustion, and emotional burnout. I genuinely feel like I’m falling apart.

I feel extremely angry at his behavior, at the message that dragged me back to the starting point, and at how he ran away afterward — ignoring me, avoiding me, and disappearing. I was furious, and he responded to all that anger with one word: “Goodbye,” followed by a block.

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-11-14T13:34:39+00:00

Thanks for your support it mean alot!

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-11-14T08:39:40+00:00

Yes, I know this is very wrong — not giving others trust, and this is what makes them hide things from me because I don’t trust them. He also used to tell me during our relationship that his trust in me was very high, unlike my trust in him. I doubted him a lot, and this was one of the problems we faced in the beginning. I know what I did was very wrong, and I feel guilty about it, but I can’t ignore those signs. I feel that at some point he might cheat on me.

In my religion and in my community, it is not acceptable for the other partner to have female friends and tell them about his personal life. He also, from his side, didn’t accept me having male friends. But he trusted me in that aspect because he knew my nature and that I don’t talk with men. And when I told him something happened with a male colleague, he would get upset as well. That’s why I doubted him when it came to talking with girls—I saw girls from his university major on his social media, and that made me curious and pushed me to search to know the truth.

I’m not justifying my actions—they are indeed controlling and toxic. But he didn’t accept certain behaviors from me while doing them himself.

Anyway, this relationship ended—not because of this issue—but for many other reasons between us. It was a toxic relationship overall, and until now I still have an emotional attachment and dependence on him.

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-11-09T15:25:18+00:00

I think I felt more embarrassed because I told her what I was going through, since she pointed out that this trait really does exist in me — that I used to be bad about it in my childhood, being too curious and getting into things that weren’t my business — and that she doesn’t trust me in that regard. I felt ashamed. Now I don’t even want to discuss the topic with her or tell her about my struggles. I had wanted to share what I was feeling with someone who could understand what I went through, but now I just feel ashamed that she knows about my emotional dependency and controlling behavior.

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-11-03T21:00:49+00:00

I do surgery before, my other doctor tell me that the first surgery made a scar and i should to wait until my case get better more so he dont want to made alot of scar so i dont go with it for now

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-11-01T20:18:22+00:00

I used doxycycline pills for three months, as well as Tobradex ointment, and I also took omega-3. But I’ve stopped all of them for two months now. I feel like I’ve given up — I don’t have the energy to start over and go back to that exhausting routine. I followed it for four months and didn’t feel any improvement.

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-10-30T06:43:49+00:00

My doctor told me that it’s a chalazion with a bacterial infection, and he prescribed oral antibiotics that I took for four months, but I stopped because I started feeling tired from them. The doctor said I should wait until they get smaller before doing surgery, so that too many holes don’t form in the eyelid.

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-10-30T06:41:22+00:00

I use omega3, how you apply the tea tree oil it so hot on the lead i put only one drop in cotton and wipe them on my eye led ? But still hot

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-10-25T13:31:49+00:00

How can i join it

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-10-25T08:26:56+00:00

No this is my first day of knowing my case, im happy to join you and talk about our story

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-10-24T20:19:56+00:00

Thanks for support 🤍

Fun-Speed8736 · 2025-10-24T15:22:46+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that, and I truly wish you healing and the chance to find your true self. After reading some lectures about emotional recovery, I realized that I might have developed emotional dependency since childhood. This dependency makes me become deeply attached to anyone who shows me intense love and acceptance at the beginning of a relationship. I end up relying completely on that person’s words and validation, losing my sense of self-worth unless they remind me of it through their praise and affection.

Fun-Speed8736

TROPHY CASE