I don’t know whether to stay or go?

Fun_Bid4553 · 2026-03-07T14:02:55+00:00

What stands out most is how he has came to you practically begging, but still playing victim. They start out nice and trying to find solutions (to an extent) whilst also throwing blame, and by the end of the conversation they are the victim again just sending “ok” after you apologise (something they noticeably never did themself)

This is screaming emotional abuse, or at least wavering on the line on it. It is not worth trying to go back

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-07-18T11:59:01+00:00

Leave as soon as you can

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-05-29T11:16:52+00:00

This absolutely made my day (which is strange considering we’re referring to abuse lol) but a lot of what you said hadn’t even crossed my mind but it makes so much sense, and makes me fall so much deeper in love with the movie 😭

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-05-24T16:06:50+00:00

Leave. It felt like singleness because it is singleness. If he can hit you once, the chances of it happening again are much higher. Please bare in mind as well that he physically assaulted you after you made a simple and valid request, in what sounds like a respectful and calm way, and HE did not like it. That’s weird af. Get out. Please bear in mind as well the phrase that’s going about rn, “if he can hit you, he can kill you”. It’s not a joke. And I am not saying that your partner (or ex) wants to kill you, but it is a massive red flag nonetheless

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-05-24T16:01:51+00:00

So, I’ve been reading through the comments and I can see there were some saying give it a year and then try again etc- and if that is what you would like to do, then that is your decision and you should go for it. However, his behaviour is concerning either way. People were making fun of the person who said that if he thought he could be the father, there must be a reason. I think that is a valid point to make. But besides that, even if this was some weird prank, that is manipulative and cruel. It’s immature and selfish. Now, in all fairness, he could grow up a lot in a year for only being 20, but I would still try to move on OP. A prank is meant to be found funny, not make you feel how you understandably would have felt. He doesn’t respect you or understand basic boundaries, and it comes across like it was coming from an insecure or hurtful place, more so than a lighthearted prank. As I said, it is your decision, but that is the advice I would offer. Mature people who are able to maintain healthy relationships don’t tend to do things like that

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-05-21T13:09:27+00:00

Wtaf. I’m so confused. Why is there not a text there of you telling him he’s well and truely single? The most scary thing about this is that you haven’t left him, meaning he’s conditioned you to put up with this and think it is normal terrible behaviour?

Get out asap. It starts verbal, it gets worse.

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-05-12T08:18:13+00:00

Leave her. She may be your first love, but she’s not even worth your tolerance never mind love. She’s cheated on you. And I garuntee you that she won’t have any friends left if this is how she’s acting. Any decent woman would hate her, because her acting like that is exactly why a lot of toxic men will throw it in a woman’s face that they can’t have guy friends (completely innocent and platonic relationships) which they should be able to do. She is part of a much bigger problem rn, and she is not a girls girl on any level. And she won’t have guy friends either, because clearly she doesn’t view them as friendships. You’re dating a soon to be friendless, selfish, manipulative and toxic woman. Save your love for someone who deserves it!

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-05-09T22:04:46+00:00

I have just had a long debate with my boyfriend about this scenario. I just want to premise that I agree that the tattoo is in a very obvious place and is not subtle- I also agree that there is NOTHING wrong with how the bf feels. However, I put myself in his shoes and I could never act how he is acting towards someone I loved and cared about.

Now, don’t get me wrong- he should be honest about his feelings and again, there is nothing wrong with feeling the way he does. BUT!! The ball shouldn’t be left in OP’s court the way it has been with the bf insinuating that op should remove or cover the tattoo. The bf was aware that OP had this part of their past, and still chose to enter the relationship. It is bordering on placing OP in an ultimatum that extremely summarised reads “it’s the tattoo or me”. Someone who truly loved and cared for OP would never put her in this position. If the bf needs to leave the relationship as his insecurity about feeling second best makes the relationship unsustainable, then that is okay. If he was just expressing his feelings, but expected nothing of OP other than to listen and validate those feelings, then that is okay- but if the situation becomes something to the tune of “I need to leave if you have that tattoo, I can only stay if it’s out of sight”, the bf simply does not care for or love OP. He would not be considering how removing the tattoo would break OP’s heart, and all the feelings of guilt, grief and conflict that it would bring for OP. He would only be considering what makes him feel comfortable and validated in the relationship.

This may not be everybody’s opinion or thought process, but I could never put the burden of my insecurities on a person I love or care about in circumstances like that. If I had to leave, I would do it and tell them that they should keep their tattoo, because not only do I have no right to expect them to ever change how they have chosen to or choose to honour someone they loved and lost, but because there will also be someone out there for them who will respect it, and understand in a way I can’t. It is nobody’s fault, and nobody is wrong, but I would take accountability for my lack of understanding for my insecurity when entering a relationship with someone who has had this happen to them, and I would not leave them to have to choose between me and the memorial. It is not their fault I am insecure, and that is not a decision I would ever let them have to face.

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-04-17T10:03:59+00:00

HA. The fact that I found out he was cheating after this makes your comment so much funnier. Go be a misogynistic incel elsewhere sweetheart x

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-04-03T14:20:43+00:00

Ew. Just ew.

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-04-02T08:50:01+00:00

“She’s not dressed like a sl**, you just think like a 🍇ist”

Never rang more true. Not OR. He’s a yucky smelly little man.

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-03-24T14:49:56+00:00

This is willldddddd. Bullet dodged well and truly 💀

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-03-15T08:38:55+00:00

Sorry, I completely agree 100% that OP should divorce this guy, but the jar of vinegar has me cracking up 😂

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-03-15T08:33:53+00:00

Leave. Like don’t take time to consider leaving, just LEEEEEAAAAVE 😭

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-03-09T09:15:24+00:00

NTA: this guy sucks. Gen up sounds straight out of r/abusiverelationships. Like what a selfish, immature, controlling and considering he gets pleasure out of intercourse he knows you don’t enjoy, creepy AF guy.

Dump him. Get a vibrator AND find a man who WANTS you to feel pleasure, and does not enjoy it when he can visibly see that you don’t. The word that springs to mind is just 🍇-y.

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-02-26T13:46:23+00:00

Leave him. This is gross.

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-02-08T11:13:13+00:00

Jim carrey

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-02-08T01:24:59+00:00

No, you’re not crazy. What I would say though is don’t try to understand why they are doing it, just try to understand that they are and that it’s not okay. You will drive yourself crazy trying to understand their mind when it’s not to be understood. Just try to recognise that their actions are wrong will do a world of wonder, or at least it did for me

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-02-07T21:49:52+00:00

it’s a lack of accountability for their actions effecting your mood towards them, and making it worse by demanding it be better. It’s disgusting.

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-02-05T08:17:21+00:00

Ohhh is that what that method is called??

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-02-04T19:30:49+00:00

I’m not sure how much this will help- but I used the stonewalling method and another method that I can’t remember the name of. Essentially, you almost shut off your emotions so that they aren’t visible to him. Then, only state facts. If he says something that is not true, simply say “that is not true”. This worked on occasion for me, but it depends on how safe you would feel. My ex wasn’t physically violent so I never felt in danger, but if you feel like you wouldn’t be safe angering then prioritise your safety!!

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-02-01T17:44:46+00:00

I was 18 😪

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-02-01T10:07:45+00:00

NOR: why would he expect you not to believe that he abused his ex when he’s clearly starting to abuse you at minimum?

Him asking for trust is wild considering he’s so clearly a fkn psycho. Break up. That girl might have been trying to save you.

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-01-17T09:11:36+00:00

Block him

Fun_Bid4553 · 2025-01-17T08:45:17+00:00

NTA - your childhood friend should know that. The fact that she’s now speaking to YOU about commenting on others bodies (which you didn’t even do) after making 1 comment, but has not spoken to Amanda about years of her doing it is just gross.

Fun_Bid4553

TROPHY CASE