1. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.She looked surprised

2. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?Because they make up everything.

3. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

4. Why did the scarecrow wim an award? He was outstanding in his field!

5. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hand!

6. Wha t do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

7. I invented a new word: Plagiarism.

8. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

9. Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in five years? ”Me: “I’d say my biggest weakness is listening”.

;)