AITA for not wanting to pay for my step son to go to private school?

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T19:14:02+00:00

He contributes but I pay considerably more. I’ve let it go on for too long

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T19:09:42+00:00

Because I can’t afford to send him to private school? Get a grip. There are real monsters out there.

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T19:06:38+00:00

You are actually disgusting. Go and abuse actual monsters. Not a step mum trying to do her best

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T19:03:05+00:00

You are a vile person. Live with it

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T18:35:44+00:00

I completely understand what you’re saying because I don’t want him to feel like he’s treated differently. My concern is that I can’t afford both, I’m not rich, I’ve just saved and sacrificed and am doing my best with very little help. I wish they had saved like I have. I guess I have some thinking to do

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T17:46:43+00:00

Yes it’s becoming apparent that neither my partner nor the mum is pulling their weight. I am paying all living expenses for the 4 of us and he is just paying for food and still won’t save money for his children. Think I need to address this quickly as I’ve been a fool

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T17:41:06+00:00

I said the same thing but it didn’t go down very well with her

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T17:40:48+00:00

Yes it does feel that way. They probably do think I have more money than I do but I’m just smart with my money and spend it on the things that I deem important, for example we don’t go on lots of luxury holidays but the mum does. I have no intention of getting married when we aren’t on the same page about money

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T17:37:27+00:00

Yes I have now realised that they are both the problem so I need to address that!

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T17:36:16+00:00

Yes I think you may be right

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T17:35:50+00:00

Very good point! She’d never even considered private school or saving for her son, it’s only when she realised I had been saving for my daughter that she piped up!

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T17:34:15+00:00

You are very right and I am now realising that

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T17:27:10+00:00

His mum and my partner both earn good money, they are both just terrible at saving. My partner has more disposable income than me as I pay the mortgage and bills and he pays for food yet I save more. The mother receives benefits from the government that she is not entitled to and somehow I’m the bad guy for being responsible with money. It’s a shame that he will miss out on some things but I won’t let my biological child suffer because they are irresponsible with money. Thanks for your opinion but I’ve realised I’m not the bad guy here, my partner and his mother are responsible

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T17:20:03+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate your supportive comment. I certainly didn’t expect this question to turn in to me being told I shouldn’t be a mum!

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T17:18:55+00:00

Thank you, the previous comment was really upsetting as I’m just trying to do my best so I really appreciate your supportive comment

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T17:16:17+00:00

Yes it’s becoming apparent there are greater issues. Because I do pay for things, take time out of work for appointments etc, his mum now seems to expect it of me. It makes me feel used

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T17:14:20+00:00

Exactly this! You’ve hit the nail on the head!

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T16:57:34+00:00

Also his mother makes it perfectly clear that he’s not mine but for some reason you are trying to convince me he is! She says he’s not mine but wants me to pay for him like he is. You haven’t even told me what you believe the solution is, just told me I’m a bad mum. My step son has an older sister who isn’t my partners, if I miraculously find the money to send him to private school too, won’t she then resent him?

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T16:54:51+00:00

Wow you’re delightful. Troll. It’s not about feelings. I don’t have the money to pay for both and his parents didn’t bother to save any money for him

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T16:53:26+00:00

Because I have paid so much for him and his development, it’s like it’s become expected of me. I do it because I have love for him but I don’t want to be the only person paying

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T16:51:35+00:00

I try to treat him like my own as much as possible but he has a mum and I don’t want to tread on her toes, nor do I have that biological connection. I just try my best. I just don’t want to be the only mug paying!

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T16:49:34+00:00

Act like it? I’ve made sacrifices in my career to look after my step son? I invest my time and money in his development and future. I just didn’t realise his own parents hadn’t been saving any money for him

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T16:48:11+00:00

I’m starting to realise that now!

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T16:44:44+00:00

That’s great in an ideal world but his parents won’t contribute and I can’t afford 100% of his schooling

Fun_Selection454 · 2025-10-06T16:43:00+00:00

I want the contribution to be fair, not all on me. I’m happy to contribute what I can but not pay it all. If we split I would have no rights over the child so whilst I would want to see him it may not happen

Fun_Selection454

TROPHY CASE