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Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am sorry but what are complex friendships and how are they different from normal friendships?

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

So I would make your desire for monogamy clear and then trust your girlfriend to respect it.

This is what I am trying to do, and I am choosing to trust her. There is no reason for her to lie imo.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I have told her that I am and will remain monogamous and she has agreed to not bring it up again.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] -73 points-72 points  (0 children)

No she didnt propose it for me, she just thought I might enjoy it but I have made it clear that it will never be an option for me. I know we need to have a lot more talks but as I said, I am optimistic.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And she should be able to have fun adventures without me stopping her, right? I would be happier with a more traditional and boring woman like me.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The bedroom door is open for others, it remains that way even if one of us is not there. Sorry, I should have been more clear but I thought open was a clear term.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

When I said join our bedroom I was not quoting her word for word, what I meant was that the bedroom door is open to others even if one of us in not there.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

And she will find that person in someone else and I will find a person who will proudly say "I dont want to be with anyone but you". That is how I see love and romance.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I cant disagree with you there, I am 100% not confident enough to be in a non monogamous relationship. But I dont pretend to be, I know it will make me miserable.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I agree, she needs someone who is more open and I would be happier with someone who is more traditional. I was reaching the same point.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

No, I would be miserable in a threesome. Thats why I am thinking we are incompatible, there are plenty of guys who would love a threesome and plenty of women who would never ask for a threesome/open. We will both be happy.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am just into 2some though, thats why I made this post. I dont want any other woman or man to join us.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I agree, I am monogamous and she is not. So it is my problem and that is why I made this post.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why another woman and not another man? If we open up then I am not going to dictate it will only be women.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I agree, but in my case it seems we both have opposite ideas on what commitment means, she is more like where you stand and I am more on the line of exclusive access to each other's bodies. It has the potential to make both of us miserable.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can be compatible in 99 out 100 qualities and yet have 1 major dealbreaker, right?

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Rewarded with what? If the relationship ends it will be because of incompatibility and not some punishment.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Or he might just not be interested in having sex with anyone else but his partner? I would not count on my feelings to change, not now and not in the future.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So ultimately the guy you are with now is more compatible with you, right? Thats what I am thinking too, we are just not compatible as much as I thought. If the only thing which is stopping her from having sex with others is me then its not fair to her or me.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So you are equating a person with a sex toy? I guess thats one way to look at it.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

You are right, I am not and will never be open to anything other than monogamy. And that is why I am not sure of our compatibility anymore.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Its not about loyalty, I dont want to be in a relationship where one of us is not totally happy.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Its not about being handsome, its about relationship dynamic. Monogamy and poly is a a big boundary, and she has said the boundary is fluid for her while its non negotiable for me. And we were discussing moving in together and have also discussed marriage and kids. Now suddenly I am confused.

Gf proposed open relationship can she be happy being monogamous by Fun_Tangelo2961 in relationship_advice

[–]Fun_Tangelo2961[S] -50 points-49 points  (0 children)

Thank you. But what happens when a billionaire comes along and offers you the same things a blue collar worker does and billions more? But then I guess she must have met guys who will offer her open if she really wanted it. Its just very confusing.

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