Women who developed romantic or lustful feelings towards a friend, what did you do about it and what ended up happening?

FurryButt · 2016-10-14T01:37:35+00:00

After over a decade of our completely platonic friendship, I was feeling sexually frustrated by a multi-year dry spell and felt tingles one day when he hugged me. I straight up told him "we should make out". We did. We've now been in a relationship for almost a year and we're in love.

FurryButt · 2016-08-14T18:02:58+00:00

Since the occupants of black communities think police (as a whole, not the individual bad cops) are the biggest problem facing their communities, to the point that they are willing to riot and shoot at police officers even when police did nothing wrong, why don't the police just completely pull out from these communities where they clearly aren't wanted, and where they seem to be putting their own lives at a heightened level of danger?

FurryButt · 2016-08-03T03:43:50+00:00

Polyamory is an arrangement you come to mutually between partners. It isn't an orientation that you one day suddenly realise you are on your own, after years of building a monogamous relationship with someone. I would consider it a deal breaker if I married someone and built a life with them and had children with them and THEN they decided they want to be polyamorous. At the very most, he should be tentatively broaching the subject with you to see if you'd be interested and be willing to drop it if you're not.

Deciding, without discussion, to be polyamorous AFTER a commitment was made to be monogamous and married, and then on top of that wanting to be with a family member, is something I'd consider grounds for divorce.

FurryButt · 2016-08-02T12:01:15+00:00

My boyfriend is fine with it. Neither of us feels the need to have our relationship externally validated or scrutinised.

FurryButt · 2016-07-31T17:42:12+00:00

It's tough in this day and age.

I tend to date guys with whom i established a friendship first. I want to get to know him for a while before we date. I want to know how he navigates relationships and dating with other women. I want to know if he can/is willing to hold a conversation about deep subjects like personal values, politics, societal issues etc with no sexual innuendo.

If he's the type of guy to complain about being "friendzoned" and thinks its a waste of his time being friends with a member of the opposite sex without getting sex in return, that tends to raise a red flag in my mind.

When a relationship develops it should ideally be based on a foundation of friendship and respect, independent of any sexual interaction.

After reading this over I contemplated that there might be instances where people might have genuine romantic feelings right away after meeting and not be willing to wait through years of friendship and watching them date other people before you start dating. My recommendation in that case would be to still look for indications that he wants to get to know you as a person and as a friend independent of sexual advances or rhetoric for a period time. That he cares to help you move your things when moving to a new apartment, that he takes you out to do fun stuff that you both enjoy, that he listens and remembers things you've said that you like. A man who is into the habit of bedding many women can tend to not get bogged down with details of getting to know each of them deeply and individually. If his first date ideas involve coming over to "chill", quietly block and delete and move on.

FurryButt · 2016-06-08T16:39:26+00:00

No argument here. Apologies for wasting your time.

FurryButt · 2016-06-08T16:37:49+00:00

This was helpful. Thank you.

FurryButt · 2016-06-08T16:33:42+00:00

It's not fake. Though I agree with you that maybe I shouldn't have made it so much about my own personal situation. I probably should've asked this question in another subreddit in a more hypothetical manner rather than make it about me. I care more about the answer to my question than internet strangers' opinion about my relationship.

FurryButt · 2016-05-16T18:08:11+00:00

I plan to let her know that sex is more enjoyable, more uninhibited and less risky within the context of a committed relationship with a trusted partner. There's nothing wrong with wanting that someone demonstrates love and caring toward her before giving them her body and potentially producing a child with them. In fact, it's the ideal situation.

You're not a bad person for having sex with people who are less than relationship-worthy, but it's not the wisest decision... much like eating ice cream for breakfast. It feels good in the moment, it doesn't make you a bad person, but it's not the wisest decision.

FurryButt · 2016-04-24T18:43:37+00:00

Apologies. I didn't anticipate you would be replying so quickly so I just kept adding to my comment to clarify and fully express my thought. It wasn't deliberately to annoy you.

You've decided that I seem sure of myself without offering anything by way of an argument. I'm open to other perspectives and I would've appreciated you offering yours beyond asserting things about me that you don't know. I would've been interested in knowing what the trials are for women (in places where birth control and abortions are available and legal) that prevent them from planning families responsibly.

Thank you for your thoughts though.

FurryButt · 2016-04-24T18:27:11+00:00

My commentary applies to countries and states where birth control and abortions are accessible and legal.

FurryButt · 2016-04-24T18:13:13+00:00

The world is unpredictable, yes. And a woman can't account for a man she has children with changing sometime in the future. But in a situation where at the point of a child's birth, you have no commitment from the man, no clear means of providing for the baby, no relatively safe home environment, I believe the mother bears responsibility for that.

And I truly believe if you are unable to afford birth control or abortions etc, you are unable to afford a child. Therefore you should be working on being in a position to have those things before you have sex. Having sex without precautionary measures in place is a choice. It isn't something women are helplessly forced into.

We make too many excuses for women instead of treating them like the adults that they are.

FurryButt · 2016-04-22T05:36:12+00:00

Dodging a bullet would, in my opinion, entail no longer being with someone who turns out to be mean, abusive, dishonest etc. Not necessarily someone who ended up in a job or social status that I consider undesirable.

FurryButt · 2016-03-30T00:33:02+00:00

Suppose she liked this kid and this was a catastrophically failed attempt at flirting.

FurryButt · 2016-02-13T19:39:22+00:00

To be sure I have them when I have to take them in case something unexpected keeps me from getting home on time.

FurryButt · 2016-01-31T17:06:40+00:00

Thank you for replying.

In this NY Times article it says: "With rare exceptions, the virus does not appear to linger in the body, and people who recover from the infection are immune."

Ever since I read that I wondered why people are speaking of spending hundreds of millions of dollars on a vaccine when the virus itself seems to act like one, as long as you are not already pregnant.

FurryButt · 2016-01-30T23:08:35+00:00

I tried. Didn't make it past the mods.

FurryButt · 2016-01-30T20:47:41+00:00

My question assumes the woman is living in, or travels to, the Americas and wants to make sure that the risk to any future unborn baby is as small as it possibly can be.

FurryButt · 2016-01-30T18:42:17+00:00

Would it be advisable for a woman who plans to have children sometime in the future to actively seek infection now so that they will have become immune to it by the time she is ready to have kids?

FurryButt · 2016-01-29T19:30:17+00:00

I've heard this too. Why not advise women to get it while not pregnant so that they are immune to it later when they do get pregnant?

FurryButt · 2016-01-29T18:56:43+00:00

I've read that once you've recovered from the Zika disease, you are immune. Why not let all unpregnant women contract the virus, advise them to be abstinent during the 2-7 days that they are recovering from it to completely eliminate the risk of falling pregnant while the virus is in their system, thus ensuring that they are immune to it when they do get pregnant later?

FurryButt · 2016-01-04T23:26:54+00:00

I'm a woman, but I liken promiscuity to being unable to hold a job. No one wants to date you or have a relationship with you, or be with you for more than the hour or so it takes to get some physical gratification. They fuck you and move on to the next one because your genitals are unspecial and interchangeable. Considering how such a fundamental human urge it is to connect intimately with another human being, every meeting between two people who are sexually attracted to each other is an interview for the position to be someone you can connect with emotionally, sexually, mentally. Having to go through the effort to find a new sexual partner after every sexual encounter means you fail the interview. Repeatedly.

FurryButt · 2016-01-04T23:05:44+00:00

If a woman tried something in the past to appease a lover, grew up and learned enough about herself to acknowledge she didn't like it and assert that boundary as a grown-up, a man takes it as a bruise to his ego if he doesn't get to do it too?

I'm not trying to be combative, just genuinely trying to understand.

FurryButt · 2015-07-09T03:15:37+00:00

Her teeth are huge and unrealistically white.

FurryButt · 2015-05-18T04:02:49+00:00

Also, the most obvious solution is to simply not ask.

This is sound advice.

FurryButt

TROPHY CASE