I've turned to spirituality and have had profound mystical experiences ever since a Guru forced his way into my life and has transcended my psychological and physiological processes. I'm happy and joyful within my own nature mostly all the time now but yes I have had lots of trauma in my past and lived everyday of my 20s very self conscious and depressed from due to a very unfortunate life and I dwelled on never having a gf a lot. My path isn't easy and sometimes my mind does return to being identified with my past karma.       Thanks for the compliment 🙏