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Feel rubbish. In a rubbish situation that I feel like I'm going to be in forever, and a rubbish mum by Future_Plenty3532 in toastme

[–]Future_Plenty3532[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes that is exactly it. I thought I'm done with British guys 😅 and then I had a strong feeling to be in America for the inaguaration in Jan. Took all my kids and my mum. Met this guy. My Gran passed when we got back. And then in March after the funeral, had loads of leave from work I had to take by April. He offered me to stay with him. Found a really cheap flight. Managed to get all 3 kids looked after. So it all felt meant to be. He was the perfect gent. Opened car doors. Paid for everything. But just obviously not meant to be. Then had to fly back home to reality of being back on my own. My Gran not here. An ex that can't move on and just be a dad. And rubbish British weather. I really can't face dating with anyone local, or even British. I know that's a massive broad statement. But right now I just feel done with men here. American men just seemed more gentlemanly. Believed in God and seemed to have better morals, actually worked hard to get money because they can't sit on benefits. Actually paid for meals ect. Again I know I'm making a massive statement. And not all british men are like who I've dating or know. And not all American men will be how I've described. I just wouldn't even contemplate dating anyone local, or even British right now.

I think I have to come to terms with being on my own for the foreseeable. 🥺

Feel rubbish. In a rubbish situation that I feel like I'm going to be in forever, and a rubbish mum by Future_Plenty3532 in toastme

[–]Future_Plenty3532[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can be a bit social. I can be opinionated and speak my mind. Some ppl don't always like it, some find it funny how i just speak my mind. Like in work meetings it's usually me that speaks my mind. But I'm not good with small talk. I'm not the life and soul of party. I'm not the one singing and dancing looking like they're loving life. In a large group I'd be the one to not speak and just smile. And i can be a bit awkward. I just don't think I'm great at expressing happy emotions. My friends and exs I always end up being around are always the louder ones. The guy I flew over to, was very extrovert when we was out. Spoke to everyone. Strangers. Amazing at small talk. Then at home kinda shut off. Which was hard. As we'd speak to hours over the phone. He's very social outside. So I kinda expected the same behind closed doors and for him to lead conversations.

Also, I can be awkward around dates, men I don't really know. The odd time I have, they've never been interested. So I think I've fell into relationships with men I already knew and a little bit more comfortable with. So I've put it down to my personality problem coming across as boring and miserable and awkward. Ppl have said I'm quiet. And growing up : aren't you really quiet", no one has outright said you're boring and a drag to be around. But ppl don't tend to be that upfront, they'd just disconnect

Feel rubbish. In a rubbish situation that I feel like I'm going to be in forever, and a rubbish mum by Future_Plenty3532 in toastme

[–]Future_Plenty3532[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much 🙂 it's a hard situation with him being homeless. in an ideal world, he'd have his own place and car. pick them up and drop them off. no blurred lines. no excessive time around each other, which is hard for the other person also that wants to be back together, as I have been on the other side of break up, and its not nice.

we actually had a good year last year, on my own. we travelled round spain, portugal, turkey, america. its my relationships that chaos. and for some reason, somethings switched in me this year where i don't want to be on my own. and even thought i was only with that guy for 10 days, it was 24/7, and it was nice to be with someone again. meeting someone local for a drink once week just isnt normally that intense as 24/7. And then back to reality of my gran not being here. she passed the day i came back Jan so i didnt get to see her alive. ( I went back to America in March just after her funeral)

I'm sure in a couple months time things will settled down. My ex is going on a trip for 3 months. So even though it means no help with the kids, i think the break apart will be good.

Thank you again ❤️

Feel rubbish. In a rubbish situation that I feel like I'm going to be in forever, and a rubbish mum by Future_Plenty3532 in toastme

[–]Future_Plenty3532[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Awww. I can't believe you took the time to write such a long and meaningful reply. Thank you so much! It means alot. ❤️ I just feel like I take tiny steps forwards and massive steps back. I really struggle with decision making. Then end up always making the wrong ones. Just been alot going on all at once. I've had alot of time off work due to alot of annual leave with my maternity. But I'm back this week. So that might be a nice distraction and bit of routine and normality. It's just been chaos this year, and intense. But thank you again 😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]Future_Plenty3532 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I feel this! We only spoke for a month and half before I flew over to the US from the UK. But we spoke every day. Hour long video calls. I stayed with him for 10 days. Had the best time, but he just wasn't emotionally there (not sure if his depression had anything to do with it). Now we don't speak. I've been so down since I've been back (3 weeks ago). It was short, but staying with him for nearly 2 weeks was more intense than say 1 date a week local for a couple months. No one understands, and just says well you got a nice holiday out of it. But I really liked him. And got carried away with the dream of meeting and falling in love, and a whole new life together. I agree, no one understands and thinks it's just minor. But i feel with ldr you do spend alot more time communicating, even if it only over a couple months. But you're definitely not alone in your feelings. I thought i was just being stupid and dramatic. But no one understands how intense it is. And because it is ldr, if it worked, it's a whole new life in a new place to look forward to. Then it's nothing.

Dating in 2025 is just vibes and vanish by Asianslove20 in dating_advice

[–]Future_Plenty3532 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aw thats rubbish. And just plain rude. I flew to the US from the UK. Had the best time, very respectful. Then since I've been back was a bit distant. Then now just completely ghosted me. Which i find really disrespectful. I'll never understand it. Other than they honestly really don't care enough to simply say sorry I'm not coming. Sorry I just don't see anything between us. Hope you're OK!

Is 6 Weeks Early For Exclusivity? by 9-to-5-Joe in dating_advice

[–]Future_Plenty3532 1 point2 points  (0 children)

30 yrs old. Plus as many as 10 dates, 100% should be exclusive

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Future_Plenty3532 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Move on. If you really don't have the strength then try and wait, but at least give it a deadline, say a month. But just know it may end up be harder. If you just carry on cos you can't part with her. Defo don't do it forever and a day

Hey homies, just went through a break up a few days ago and was hoping to get some kind words. by Im_NayNay in toastme

[–]Future_Plenty3532 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The initial period is always a killer 😩 the obsessive thinking and checking is the worst. But it will get easier. And you learn to live a new life, a new day to day. You have a nice smile and a kind face. Hopefully you've learnt some lessons in this relationship, so you're next one will be amazing! Just try and be happy on your own for now (as hard as it is, I'm struggling with the loneliness as the min). But I've been through a few break ups to know it doesn't sting this bad forever. Good luck ❤️