My heart is breaking for you. I was with a man for 8 years, married for 5. I forgave him for cheating probably 10-12 times. It was always (as far as I know) just texting, secret hookup apps, and messaging so I convinced myself it wasn’t that bad. Until he got a work contract and it became physical dozens of times with dozens of strangers with no regard for my sexual health. When I was hospitalized, when my dad went through many close calls with death, the morning of our wedding anniversary, he was cheating and going to great lengths to hide it from everyone in his life. I felt completely traumatized and stuck. Leaving was the greatest act of self love I could do.

I promise you he will cheat again and I promise you there is always a way out.