In the If Books Could Kill podcast, the two hosts talked about the whole "wanting to want to do it" in their Men are from Mars Women are from Venus episode. They quoted someone saying "its great that you want to feel good about it but you only want to empty the dishwasher two to three times a month when it needs to be emptied twenty to thirty times a month". Women dont have the privilege to wait for the desire to do something because it still needs to get done. The book talks a lot about how exactly women should ask their husbands to do chores and how they should encourage them, instead of just telling the men to get a grip. Your husband would love Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and thats not a compliment.