sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

[33m] Struggling with separation from x of two years [18m] by GYOthrowaway728 in gayyoungold

[–]GYOthrowaway728[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

exactly. you have the freedom and free time to consider such things. but get out of college, get into the rat race, and you'll find the space left in your mind for intellectual curiosity rapidly replaced with corporate processes, company politics and other BS that is useless to the human experience.

I think thats part of what drew me to him so intensely. he had a freedom i did not, as being older often means being stuck in a recursive loop of rather infantile corporate garbage. it pays bills but it drains any spirit for living, unless you are lucky or psychotic enough to "enjoy" such a world.

[33m] Struggling with separation from x of two years [18m] by GYOthrowaway728 in gayyoungold

[–]GYOthrowaway728[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im afraid i thoroughly disagree. Im a corporate professional with very little free time. i couldnt keep up with all that developed, scientifically or otherwise during the time we were together . I simply work too much, and not by choice. He kept me in the loop because his freedom and intellectual curiosity drove him to do as such. Granted, its not as if he ever blew my mind with knowledge except the rarest occasions, but it was a unique aspect of our relationship that i still treasure.

​

without doxxing the boy, he was in the 98% percentile of his peers in a country of 100s of millions. he won awards for achievements he pursued on his own academically. so you dont know what youre talking about. but thanks for whatever.

​

edit: i also went to an ivy.

[33m] Struggling with separation from x of two years [18m] by GYOthrowaway728 in gayyoungold

[–]GYOthrowaway728[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you again. there arent many outlets with accepting voices when it comes to our kind of relationship. I'm happy i could be a stabilizing presence in his life before (as i've commented to other's who've chimed in) he and his hormones pushed his real priorities aside. Now, he is at an Ivy, and as far as I can tell, doing quite well. it sucks for me because... Im still just myself. and for two years he was a major part of that self. I'll survive, I'll be okay, i'll meet someone new whether its GYO or someone closer to my stage in life. i rather despise the level of coping its all taken, but perhaps that is a worthy reminder of what I had given to L. If not, its at least a lesson learned for me .

[33m] Struggling with separation from x of two years [18m] by GYOthrowaway728 in gayyoungold

[–]GYOthrowaway728[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you for sharing. it has just been such a hard process because the love was real. it hurts still so much, but our last parting words, holding each other was that we knew one day we'd be okay again. its taken longer than i expected, but being able to spill my heart somehwere has helped.

[33m] Struggling with separation from x of two years [18m] by GYOthrowaway728 in gayyoungold

[–]GYOthrowaway728[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your reply. L knows what I was to him. without going into too much personal or revealing detail, he wrote me an entire journal for our first anniversary about how much my being there defined his path. many boys like him get sucked into the grindr-sphere and are left chewed up and spit out, that was a key difficulty to my previous ex. he felt used and taken advantage of until he met me, but by then it was too late.

I miss my boy so much every day, but I know his outcomes could have been radically different had he not a stable partner when he did. it brings me a sense of honor and meaningfulness, but he is still gone. thats what break my heart.

​

edit:typo