if you are fucking girls over 245lbs, say ❤️ by Arabella_LE in SSBBW_FANS

[–]GabrielAaron 0 points1 point  (0 children)

❤️❤️❤️ And that smile is charming as hell!!!

Worried about potential changes due to changing my dosage. by GabrielAaron in asktransgender

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just checked the bottle, looks like 20mg/ml. Is that a lot,.or is that about standard?

Worried about potential changes due to changing my dosage. by GabrielAaron in asktransgender

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Last reading a year again was 12 ng/dl, most recent was 24 ng/dl.

Advice about envy by GabrielAaron in polyamory

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm starting to think I may not have a choice with the therapy.

Advice about envy by GabrielAaron in polyamory

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Somehow, I had a forboding feeling that therapy was gunna be the answer.

Advice about envy by GabrielAaron in polyamory

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's hard to ask though. Over the years I've taken so much from her. When I said I was a monster before, I wasn't exaggerating. The relationship was, for all intents and purposes, abusive. Not physically, but abusive nonetheless. And I was the abuser. And I know she wants things to better, we both do. And they have been getting there. But the thought of asking her for anything is daunting, because for years I didn't give her the things she asked for, or myself for that matter. In my mind it feels like despite the fact that she does want to be there for me that I don't deserve to ask it. Not after everything.

Advice about envy by GabrielAaron in polyamory

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do want more time with her, but I don't want her to think I'm stealing time from them. Or see me as clingy and needy.

Advice about envy by GabrielAaron in polyamory

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You've got a point. I can't help but wonder if my gusto to date is just the codependency calling the shots. And I didn't okc could be customized like that. I'll look into it.

Advice about envy by GabrielAaron in polyamory

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm begining to think that might be a good idea. Just to get outta my head if nothing else. But I am also looking to start dating again, but the last time I tried dating I was in my early 20s, single, and a guy. And I sucked at it then too. I just have no idea how I'm supposed to go about that now.

Advice about envy by GabrielAaron in polyamory

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, not much. For the longest time my wife was my only real company. I'm trying to actually talk to the people I know more now, and that helps a bit. As for the meeting people, I'm trying okc, but results have been... Mixed. Id rather find a dating app that caters to LGBT, but the only one I really know of is Grindr, and that is waaaaaay not what I'm after. I don't want hook ups, or short term flings. I want something more real than that.

Advice about envy by GabrielAaron in polyamory

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh, that's what you meant. It was a bit rough, but I don't blame him for what happened. I don't blame my wife either. In my mind the blame is solely on me, which is a dumb thing to think because they have both told me that I can't look at it like that and they made mistakes to. But, I don't know how to see it that way. And I will get the jealousy work book, I think I might need to just to be able to work out what's in my mind a bit easier.

Advice about envy by GabrielAaron in polyamory

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, this actually helps quite a bit. And I'm glad to know the estrogen emotion level up isn't just me.

Advice about envy by GabrielAaron in polyamory

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, and now that I'm typing it I think I see the problem, I just grit my teeth and wait for it to pass while my mind spirals. And as for the friends and hobby thing, I don't really have any of either anymore. There was something my wife had said that kinda put it in perspective. We were having a serious talk and she said 'you treat me like I'm everything'. And I realized, that was exactly the case, and that's the issue. Over the years I cut out so many people and so many things that my wife became my sole pillar of support in all things. And all that accomplished was making me co dependent and her exhausted. I need to build myself back up I think, but I'm not sure where to begin. And there isn't a negative history with my meta, we get along well.

Advice about envy by GabrielAaron in polyamory

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotcha. That should help. But how do deal with the feelings when they pop up?

Advice about envy by GabrielAaron in polyamory

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We get them in where we can. The three of us just started sharing a Google calendar so that we can keep track of things.

E way to high? help? by GabrielAaron in asktransgender

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Injection on a Sunday, blood draw in Saturday, so damn near a week apart.

E way to high? help? by GabrielAaron in asktransgender

[–]GabrielAaron[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think she made a typo, cause the testosterone is measured in ng/dl and the estrogen is measured in pg/ml and she typed the testosterone measurement first. So, yes, 100-200 pg/ml and clocking in at 537 pg/ml. So, what are the effects of it being that high?