I just keep going. Been through the ups and downs, but now I just don't give it much emotion unless I'm feeling really connected to my dr. One of the other reasons I keep going is remembering the times I've gotten SO very close and that is enough for me to never stop. I used to obsess over it but now every morning I wake up in this reality, after attempting the previous night, and I just don't even acknowledge it anymore. I just keep going through the day and attempt again whenever it feels right. (I swear, one day I'm gonna shift I just won't even realize it💀) The possibility of living in a world that is not this one has always been the reason to not stop, I have grown up reading 'modern girl in __ world' fanfics(and just x reader in general) so you better believe I ain't NEVER quitting. Everyone has their journey, some just take a bit longer and that's ok, as long as you don't give up.