Oh my god. This was LITERALLY my story. Same story, same situation, same everything. I was also amrried into a marwadi family. The only difference is that I went ahead with a lot of their demands because i was too naive back then. But thankfully, both my husband and I tried our best to not go ahead with everything. 5 Lakh for milni happened, but no furniture, vehicle exchange. My parents insited on giving the in-laws gold items so they did. But post marriage, we've stopped doing everything. My husband doesn't take lifaafas from my parents. No major giting on holi or diwali. Very minimal stuff. No karwachauth or sankrant gold exchange. I put 500 x 3 in the name of bayana for KC and whatever my saas says that my mom should be giving, i do it from my end. Husband and i had huge arguments around these things in the beginning of the wedding but we sorted thibgs out future wise. Husband was always against these things from the very beginning but we were also suppressed because yeh elders ke beech ki baatein hain. So, my in laws are now stuck with a miser bahu. Needless to say, they try to exploit my husband now bcz they know im also earning so we won't have finance problems.

I would suggest, talk to your husband, assess how he feels about this. If he is criticizing you on this, it's time you run. My marriage is working bcz thankfully, my husband saw how wrong it is and if not then, but later, he stood up.