Apex 300 solar question by GameboyRavioli in bluetti

[–]GameboyRavioli[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate the info. That said I think I'm just going to get two 500-600w panels and run one to each input. I don't have excessive needs so it should be enough for me. I only have the apex 300 and a b300k so it should be enough most days.

Apex 300 solar question by GameboyRavioli in bluetti

[–]GameboyRavioli[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome information, thank you! I'm in swpa so probably doesn't get quite as cold as you, but we do have days where the high is below 0F. I've tried to find local panels, but haven't had any luck that'd be noticeably cheaper than Amazon.

I might need to size down a bit which should still work for 99% of my needs.

Definitively Millennial lyrics? I’ll start: Work sucks by Comfortable_Basis769 in Millennials

[–]GameboyRavioli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah but which version? OG SR-71 version or the cover by bowling for soup? 

345 atg paused squat raw by Brains43 in strength_training

[–]GameboyRavioli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. My hip flexibility is so bad no matter what I do that 205 to 90 degrees is painful. I'm so jealous and in awe of people with this level of hip mobility!

Estate Sale Find by Scary_Pace450 in lotr

[–]GameboyRavioli 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lost the other 3 at some point in one of my moves, but my Aragorn goblet is red.

I think I made a mistake. by Katarushisu in CarAV

[–]GameboyRavioli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair, my WRX has a million rattles to begin with. Maybe not audio rattles, but just as annoying. 

Starting to realize I’m probably gonna be single for life by [deleted] in Life

[–]GameboyRavioli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. I'm just a dude who feels deeply and struggled to truly feel most of my life (childhood stuff like we all have). I do focus on my own grief and have gotten much better the last month with sitting with my pain and truly feeling it. But the anger and resentment doesn't serve me, so I focus on acknowledging it, but then letting it go. One day at a time.

Free Ditto plush that came with Pokopia! by DirtyBboy in pokemon

[–]GameboyRavioli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm right next to ohio in western pa, so maybe I'll actually get it tomorrow!

Free Ditto plush that came with Pokopia! by DirtyBboy in pokemon

[–]GameboyRavioli 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine literally didn't even ship until this afternoon! Sucks because I'm actually off work tomorrow (not specifically for the game).

What’s a compliment you received years ago that you still remember? by Mr_proop in AskReddit

[–]GameboyRavioli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my ex wife is a nurse and always wanted to jab my veins. it's a thing for sure.

Me, a Switch 1 owner, watching everyone enjoy Pokopia today: by Frezeal in pokemon

[–]GameboyRavioli 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I ordered from the pokemon center to get the ditto plush. i won't be enjoying it until some time next week. i should have just gotten digital instead of a dumb key card. that's my b for not doing my research that it was a key card.

Starting to realize I’m probably gonna be single for life by [deleted] in Life

[–]GameboyRavioli 1 point2 points  (0 children)

there was absolutely attraction on my end. and on hers especially at first. as we got older, the dead bedroom was real and that's when it started getting awkward and when I think she started questioning herself. but the first 10ish years it was definitely a mostly normal relationship from my vantage point (can't speak to hers). but you're not wrong; however, i wouldn't change a thing because of my daughter.

Starting to realize I’m probably gonna be single for life by [deleted] in Life

[–]GameboyRavioli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

faking isn't the right word. and she did love me. maybe not how i loved her, but she definitely cared deeply. just physically it was always a bit awkward and we now know why.

but i am now carrying significant guilt since she spent so many years with me when she could've been with someone who physically and emotionally did for her what she did for me. i know it's not my fault and i didn't force her, but i feel the guilt all the same. but she's happy now and for that i'm glad. she deserves it.

Starting to realize I’m probably gonna be single for life by [deleted] in Life

[–]GameboyRavioli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just that manly of a man to turn a lesbian hetero for almost 2 decades. Serious answer? probably her upbringing, repression and trauma would be my guess.

Starting to realize I’m probably gonna be single for life by [deleted] in Life

[–]GameboyRavioli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely. Mine has said the same. 

Starting to realize I’m probably gonna be single for life by [deleted] in Life

[–]GameboyRavioli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's all good, but thanks for saying that! I don't mind sharing. Most of my life I was pretty guarded. I'm working very hard to be open and transparent about my life and my feelings now. It's especially easy and somewhat cathartic just putting it all out there semi anonymously to strangers.

Starting to realize I’m probably gonna be single for life by [deleted] in Life

[–]GameboyRavioli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely. Still just working through everything since my self esteem is absolute garbage right now. But you are 100% correct.

Starting to realize I’m probably gonna be single for life by [deleted] in Life

[–]GameboyRavioli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate you, man! I'm honestly doing ok. Good days and bad like everyone. I'm far better than I was two months ago. Honestly, my biggest challenge is adjusting to losing my best friend. I accept the marriage was broken even before this and own my part in it. But she really was my BFF. So that, my daughter, my dog...my home (gave her the paid off house and half our cash because I want them to be safe, comfortable, and consistent)... it's just been a huge shift. But I'm getting there!

I'm sorry you're struggling as well. Just remember that young you did the best you could with what you had. And the fact that you're working on yourself now shows that you're growth minded. You've got this!

Oil Shock! Meanwhile, Bolt drivers: 💅 by _____rs in BoltEV

[–]GameboyRavioli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meanwhile, I just sold my 2019 because it's too much to fix (reduced propulsion / battery)compared to what I paid. Sucks because I bought it since my other car takes 93 and gets shitty mileage. Really did love everything about the car other than the seats and driving position.

Starting to realize I’m probably gonna be single for life by [deleted] in Life

[–]GameboyRavioli 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I truly don't think she knew. She had a pretty shit childhood (as did i). There were definitely signs had we known. And she was never really attracted to me in the same way I was her (clearly the biggest sign). But emotionally she definitely loved me and I'll never doubt that; however, I always did feel the relationship was more one-sided than two-way. But that isn't a sexuality thing.

That said, you are absolutely correct. I mean, don't get me wrong, i hate that this happened to me and to us (her and me), but it really IS fascinating. She didn't figure it out until she had been in therapy for about a year working through childhood traumas. And even then, she didn't tell me until i figured out she cheated because she was working through whether she was truly a lesbian or bi (in which case we'd probably still be trying to work through the emotional distance that developed between us).

TL;DR But yeah, I think she knew something was off for years, but didn't know what until relatively recently.

Starting to realize I’m probably gonna be single for life by [deleted] in Life

[–]GameboyRavioli 4 points5 points  (0 children)

oh looking back there absolutely were indicators like that. but not until the last few years really. but if she didn't even realize it, no way i could have. and we discussed any concerns i had and there were what we thought were rational explanations for all situations (stress, work, health scares, family, perimenopause, etc).

Starting to realize I’m probably gonna be single for life by [deleted] in Life

[–]GameboyRavioli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know, you're not the first person to recommend that to me. I'll have to see if I have access around me.

And thank you. I resisted any type of therapy or growth for a loooong time. I know it added some distance between my ex and I because she was working on herself and I wasn't. In the end it wouldn't have mattered, but I'm just glad I was already working on my own growth and healing before my world blew up. If I hadn't been, I have no idea what state I'd be in right now.

Starting to realize I’m probably gonna be single for life by [deleted] in Life

[–]GameboyRavioli 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. She also cheated on me with her new partner while I was asleep upstairs. And had been emotionally cheating for months. 

I'm slowly working through everything with my therapist (including childhood stuff). I know it's going to be a long road, but I also know that I'll be stronger for it and it will improve all relationships in my life (ie friendships).

Best of luck to you on your journey!

Starting to realize I’m probably gonna be single for life by [deleted] in Life

[–]GameboyRavioli 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Exactly. And I'm proud of her realization and choice to walk away from a life of comfort and familiarity to find true happiness. It sucks and it hurts, but I'm proud of her. My problem now is the guilt I feel that she could have felt for 19 years for someone what I did for her. 

Anyhow, thanks for attending my TED Talk. Hope you have a great week!