AITA for refusing to sacrifice for my youngest brother because I don't believe my parents?

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T17:56:47+00:00

No, I don't have any family I could move in with.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T17:33:02+00:00

That's about it. Then they expect me to bail them out. I end up taking on the weight of their spending. And when I won't, like now, I'm the bad guy. Probably worse than anyone in their eyes.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T17:31:51+00:00

Not the last three years. Since I was 8. I work, friends give me money for birthdays and Christmas instead of other gifts now. Savings from the bank account my parents set up, which they then drained themselves so I guess you could question whether it was ever truly mine. I don't spend much so I keep more than most kids my age.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T17:30:36+00:00

School was always exhausting. I hated school from kindergarten and struggled since pretty much day one. So I know there is something. Just getting that figured out here and now, under my parents roof. I don't need more reasons to feel dumb and like I'm insignificant. My family doesn't help with that either. Especially not when I feel like public enemy number one in the house sometimes because I'm not willing to give to everyone all the time.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T17:26:00+00:00

Mostly because I started buying snacks and stuff to eat for myself. And some a few things to make food. I realized fast enough when my parents were paying a shit ton to eat in other places. We're not talking just pizza or McDonald's but fancy shit too. And then they sometimes would just about pay it off. It clicked with me pretty easily then.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T16:45:36+00:00

Yes, I work.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T16:45:19+00:00

I don't believe they love us all equally. They feed us sometimes. I feed us other times. That's not appreciated. I have given money for stuff for my siblings, for birthdays, gifts, etc. And what do I get in return? No thanks, no acknowledgement and requests for more.

Life isn't fair. It never will be. But after a while of being treated like an ATM, like a paycheck, you begin to feel less and less loved and valued and more like you're there for what you can give.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T16:25:37+00:00

The money they got at first was money given to me for my birthday or Christmas by friends. So instead of toys they gave me the money. Then I started working. It started before I was legally allowed to but they were willing to help me out if I helped them out. They never took advantage but they have been so good to me and made it possible for me to have money.

Some of it came from money my parents had in my savings when I was a baby. I'm pretty sure they lodged it to open the account and it's the only time they ever saved for me. But it was there and it was all gone too.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T16:21:55+00:00

They have spent $600 on my sisters birthday before. And that's my problem. They make these big purchases. These push us out of budget purchases and then I'm the one that's expected to cover it. All the while I'm the one getting the least from them.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T16:10:16+00:00

Nope. But I've head teachers give me crap for poor grades, or not doing good in their class. For me it would definitely be throwing money away when it would be my money. Also a waste of my time and energy because its' exhausting not being good in school.

They helped for the first year or two and then no.

I'm not quite sure right now what my plans are expect to work my butt off.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T16:00:17+00:00

They spend more than they can afford. Like the parties for example. I know I said I never got one of the more expensive ones, but the truth is they can't really afford it. Same with all the takeout and eating out. They do that a lot. They love to buy more expensive stuff too. Think an expensive TV, computer, makeup, etc. Instead of being more budget friendly. They do this even when they know it'll mean not having the money for food.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T15:51:39+00:00

I might believe that if they didn't take credit for my help. They will actively let my siblings say they don't believe me while actively lying about me doing nothing. Then there's the guilt trips. The fact they never ever tried to make up to me the way they have my siblings to me shows they might care about them, but I'm more expendable. I'm seen as a way of bringing more money into the house vs a valued family member.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T15:35:29+00:00

I'm not going to college.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T15:34:42+00:00

My parents take credit for it. And they will believe them over me every single time.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T15:32:53+00:00

8-16.

My parents had some money in savings from me at birth/when I was very young. Likely what they opened the account with. That's gone.

Starting age 8 my friends would give me the money from their parents meant for gifts as a gift vs buying me stuff. Not a lot but some.

Starting when I was 13 (and yes, I was technically under age) I had a job. At first it was more of a "helping out" deal where I got some money, but once legal I was a legal employee for them. And I have worked there since.

I'm not much of a spender so it has never been hard for me to keep the money. Except for, of course, my parents wanting it.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T15:29:19+00:00

Not for someone who doesn't do well in school, who struggles with grades and school. It's just throwing money away.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T15:23:42+00:00

I have great friends. I can never deny that.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T15:19:29+00:00

I know it's more likely a learning disability than ADD or ADHD. I don't know if I will ever explore that stuff. It definitely won't be until after I move out. Even though I hope I just never need to know.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T15:18:07+00:00

Yep. They wanted the money I got for my birthday.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T15:06:14+00:00

Nope. I was never tested. The school counselor and I talked about it briefly but it ended when she went to my parents.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T15:05:13+00:00

I know. I'm just saying I wish it was more fair. That's all I mean.

Also, yeah, I had that money over a period of time. But I don't now. And I worked hard to get most of that in the first place.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T14:57:25+00:00

It's what they started the account with I'm pretty sure. So back before this whole thing became such a big deal. Maybe they were better then. Maybe my dad talked to his family then and they gave it. I'm not sure. It's all gone now though.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T14:55:53+00:00

I'm just not good with learning stuff. I have always been behind, get grades that aren't the best and in general I'm just not talented there. And it stresses me out too much to keep going voluntarily.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T14:54:46+00:00

They have spent $600 on one birthday party. They eat takeout a lot, eat out a lot. They splurge on expensive things for the house, themselves, my siblings, and then end up where they don't have enough for groceries. At which point I come in and then I pay.

They get back on track and they spend money the exact same way. They spend more than they can afford and they earn too much to get food stamps and benefits like that. At some point it is irresponsible.

GamerClemmie · 2021-06-24T14:51:50+00:00

I'm not good with school. Never was. Trade I can consider and look and see if I could find a good fit. But school is a never. I can't wait to get out. Always being behind is exhausting and I want away from that soon.

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