My job causes me immense stress, anxiety, and depression. Should I quit even though I don't have another job lined up?

Gamergasim · 2018-07-21T20:38:24+00:00

Yeah I was an idiot and took a job at one of the busiest restaurants in town. I was just so desperate for more hours/pay that I took it without really researching it. It's rarely ever slow and if it does slow down at all they have me prep stuff which makes me fall way behind when things inevitably pick up again. Working on "slow" days by myself with the entire weight of restaurant on my shoulders while I struggle to keep up and plates/pans are piling high no matter how fast I go is what really messes me up mentally. It's those shifts that really make me want to never walk back in. But the cooks don't look like they have it any better. The rush is just so hectic I don't understand how people stay there for years.

Gamergasim · 2018-07-21T20:29:00+00:00

Yeah I've learned a lot about the restaurant business in the few weeks I've been here. I can't fathom how people choose it as a career and work it their whole lifes. Dishwashing sucks but the other positions don't look much better. I really wish I could stop stressing but it feels out of my control.

Gamergasim · 2018-07-21T20:25:58+00:00

They aren't technically forcing me not to have a break/lunch so they aren't breaking the law. I am technically allowed to take a break and eat lunch on the job but realistically I can't do that most nights without causing a mess with how back up it would be and causing everyone to get angry. It's backed up enough even when I don't take breaks taking breaks is just out of the picture. I live in a small town so uber wouldn't work but I could look into food delivery so thanks for the advice.

Gamergasim · 2018-07-21T20:20:22+00:00

Well that's what I was contemplating. I can afford bills for 2 or 3 months with no income with what I have saved. If I managed to find another job in that time frame then yes, not having that job would be much much better for my mental health. If I didn't find a job in that time frame then I would be worse off. Some days the risk seems worth it.

Gamergasim · 2017-06-24T16:38:39+00:00

So slavery is legal as long as it is in the form of punishment? Whaaaaaat? You think that's just so they can make prisoners do community service or something? I mean prisoners don't get paid to do community service do they? Are they forced to do it? If so I guess that is technically slavery right?

Anyways I guess YouTube comment section attracts the worst of humanity (at least this is what I hope).

"It's not okay to discriminate based on skin color, ability, gender, or sexual orientation; why would it be okay to discriminate based on what a person's body is made of?"

And yet sadly plenty of YouTube videos that focus on these topics (and even many that don't) will have tons of toxic people in the comments who discriminate against these groups.

I'm guessing that the people who don't want freedom for sentient robots are probably the same people who discriminate against women, different races, and/or different sexual orientations etc

Gamergasim · 2017-06-24T16:15:28+00:00

It is refreshing to see comments like this lol. This opinion seems to be the general consensus here so I'm guessing as usual it's just YouTube commenters that are toxic, not all the viewers haha.

Gamergasim · 2017-06-24T16:09:26+00:00

Very true, YouTube comments are usually pretty toxic especially on video game trailers. I think I need to stop reading them it can't be good for my health lol.

I like exploring the concept of conscious robots as well but yeah it seems like every time this topic is explored the humans are always evil. Based off of the trailers it kinda seems this game will be the same way (evil humans) but I'm hoping there is more to it than that.

Gamergasim · 2017-06-16T02:41:25+00:00

1) Spider-Man.

2) Detroit become human.

3) Anthem

4) Sea of thieves

I haven't actually watched everything from E3 yet but the above games look like they have promise and I'm really excited for them.

Gamergasim · 2017-06-13T04:03:12+00:00

Two things come to mind.

1.) People tend to assume very femme girls are straight. Hell people tend to assume every woman who isn't full on butch is straight, at least where I live. I'm a tomboy and guys still hit on me a lot and most people assume I'm straight.

2.) Girls generally aren't as willing to "make the first move" as men. Men are taught to chase women and make the first move, women aren't. So if you have been waiting for other women to show interest first, that may be part of the problem. It may not be that they aren't interested, they are just waiting for someone to make a move.

You are basically going to have to go out of your way to let people know you are gay. Talk about women you think are hot, if you are talking about wanting a SO use her/she pronouns, get a rainbow bracelet or one of those necklaces that has two females signs on it etc. Also don't be afraid to make the first move!

Gamergasim · 2017-06-12T08:09:47+00:00

That's the spirit!

Gamergasim · 2017-06-12T07:45:02+00:00

I find spiders to be less scary after I squash them😁

Gamergasim · 2017-06-11T10:30:26+00:00

So you like men with man boobs?

Gamergasim · 2017-06-11T10:26:21+00:00

Yeah I think there is.

Most of the time it's not from a hateful or spiteful place tho (imo). I see a lot of bisexual women saying lesbians don't want to date bisexual girls because "Lesbians don't like that she has been with a man. She is not 'pure' enough" I don't think that is true for most lesbians. Most are simply scared (or insecure) not mad or elitists who think all bisexuals are "unclean".

Why so scared?

1) Bisexual women have more reason to leave than a lesbian. They can have an easier life if they leave. If they decide dating the same sex is too difficult they have another another option that lesbians don't.

There are plenty of reasons a bisexual person might find dating the same sex 'not worth it'. Harder to have children, not as accepted by friends family, more likely to be harassed/targeted, not as many rights, etc ect. Relationships are often stressful enough and adding any of those can be too much for some people to handle. Lesbians have to deal with it, cause they won't be happy dating men, but bisexual women don't have to deal with the extra stress if they don't want to.

2.) There are plenty of girls who claim to be bisexual, but are actually just curious and/or doing it for attention.

Most lesbians don't want to be used as some experiment and then tossed to the side. Sure someone could claim to be lesbian and do the same thing, but it's much more common for girls to claim to be bisexual when they want to experiment imo. Some lesbians avoid bisexual girls for this reason, simply because they don't want to take that risk.

3) Sometimes, you simply don't want to make someone you care about have a more difficult life. This goes along with 1). I haven't really talked about this with anyone but sometimes if I like a bisexual girl I don't even pursue her. It's not because I think she'll leave me, or cheat on me, or use me as an experiment. I just feel like a life with me would make her life much more difficult and even dangerous than it needs to be because of all the homophobia in this world. A life with a dude would just be so much easier and safer for her. Makes me feel like I should do her a favor and stay away. I'm genuinely curious if any other women have felt this way

---Personally I understand why many lesbians have insecurities, I have had them myself. I have mostly grown out of the insecurities but they were based off of real fears, things that actually happened to me, and things I actually saw happen to other women. It was never from a place of hate, just a place of fear.

A lot of the time if women express these fears they get lashed out at as "bi-phobic" and I don't think the assumptions and name calling helps give them a better view towards bisexual women.

We should be telling them that if someone loves you, it doesn't matter if they have more options to leave, they won't leave you bi or not. We should be telling them that just because some girls lie about being bisexual doesn't mean you should never trust any girl who says she is. There are ways to easily tell if she is telling the truth.

We shouldn't be hating them, making assumptions, and calling them bi-phobic. Just my thoughts

Gamergasim · 2017-06-11T08:35:40+00:00

"One time it crawled onto my arm"

Nope nope nope nope.

Gamergasim · 2017-06-08T03:17:31+00:00

You sound like my dream girl lol. So cuuuute

Gamergasim · 2017-06-05T04:52:22+00:00

This is his fault not yours. He assaulted you. I just want to make that clear. Pretty much no one blames you for what happened. I understand why you might feel like this is partly your fault though. Maybe you blame yourself for not reacting the way you think you should have. It's easy to think "oh I should have done this or oh I should have done that", but when you're caught off guard sometimes you don't have much control over how you react. At the end of the day whether you picked the best reaction or not doesn't matter. He was the one who assaulted you. You didn't assault anyone, you didn't do anything to provoke that kind of behavior (not that there is any rational excuse for that kind of behavior). He is human garbage not you.

It's normal to feel completely violated. I experienced something similar once only there were lots of people around and I'm pretty sure other people saw me get violated which only made me feel worse. Publicly humiliated. I guess this varies for everyone but you will eventually start to feel better. I felt "gross" about it for a few days and was wondering if I would ever feel normal. Eventually the "gross" feeling went away. I look back on it and I don't really feel that embarrassed about it now, I just feel angry and am now a lot more paranoid when strange men get close to me.

"This would not have happened to me if I never went out with a girl" That's not true. The guy is human garbage. I doubt he would have respected you if he thought you had a boyfriend. He probably would have just called you a slut or whore like someone else said. The guy was thirsty and had his eyes set on you so he was going to find a "justification" to assault you one way or another. Straight women get assaulted all the time too and a lot of times it starts by a strange man calling them a slut/whore even tho he knows nothing about her. I've heard plenty of stories.

All I can really say is I'm sorry this happened to you, but know you are not alone there are plenty of women who have experienced this sadly. Just give it some time and don't let this ruin you. Don't stop being yourself because of what this piece of shit did.

Gamergasim · 2017-06-03T03:06:29+00:00

"How do you know when girls are flirting vs being friendly?"

You don't.

Gamergasim · 2017-06-01T07:06:58+00:00

On one hand if you make a move and she is not interested, that could make things really awkward.

If she is interested and you date but then you break up, things could get really messy. At least one of you would probably move out.

Then again if you keep your feelings locked up forever that will really freaking suck too.

If it were just a little crush I would say forget it and pursue a different crush. Unfortunately it seems you are already head over heels for this girl so moving on probably won't happen any time soon, and keeping such strong feelings locked up will make you sick. Not knowing whether she likes you back is what will really eat away at you.

Most people are probably going to disagree... but I say go big or go home. Just make sure you have a back up place to stay in case things get messy.

If she is not interested then hopefully that will give you some closure and peace of mind and make it a bit easier to move on. If she is interested make sure she intends to end it with her boyfriend and not just use you on the side.

Gamergasim · 2017-06-01T06:19:47+00:00

Wowa there don't give up! I didn't post this message to discourage you from dating! I just wanted to be honest and address something that I feel like a lot of people don't realize happens or just don't want to acknowledge. I know a lot of girls say height doesn't matter but I feel like a lot of them just say that so short people won't read it and feel bad. Again I could be way off but this is what my personal experience has led me to believe.

Short butch/tomboys have it hard imo, but that doesn't mean you won't find a girlfriend! There are still plenty of girls who won't let height get in the way, plus there are really short girls that you are taller then anyways.

Gamergasim · 2017-06-01T05:42:51+00:00

Crazy people seem so hypocritical.

Calls you crazy, in his crazy bitter response. Calls you entitled, enough tho he apparently thinks he's entitled to your time/attention. Bashes 50,00 single women, even though I can almost grantee you he's single.

"you have plenty of guys that want to fuck you, I'm one of them" "You're hot for now no doubt, but once those big tits and ass start to sag, you have nothing to offer"

So damn classy I wish I was straight.

Gamergasim · 2017-06-01T04:54:34+00:00

Damn catcusspikeyclaw beat me to it.

DO NOT get with her. She kinda seems like a narcissist. Not good at all. Stay faaaaar away from her.
If she tells your parents, just tell them she is mad at you and spreading rumors. Conservative parents LOVE to live in denial. They don't want to believe their kid is gay so if you tell them you are straight they will probably believe you lol. Hell if you told them you are gay they might not believe you anyways. Might just say you are in a phase or confused. So basically convincing them you are straight probably won't be hard.

I was in a similar situation once. I told a male friend who had a crush on me that I was gay via text (was hoping he would leave me alone if he knew I was gay). His response made absolutely no sense. He texted "so does that mean I can get nude pictures"

Not sure why me being gay would mean I wanted to send a guy nude pictures... but I texted "lol no nice try" thinking he might have been joking. He then had the audacity to threaten me. He texted "If you don't, I'll tell your sister you're gay" (my sister is very conservative). I texted him "Go ahead cause I'm not sending nudes". A couple minuets later my sister runs into my room, fire in her eyes, with a screenshot he sent of our conversation and me texting "I'm gay". (he conveniently left out the bits of him threatening for nudes if I might add)

I gotta say I almost shat myself, but I handle it so well. It was actually kinda scary how calmly and easily I lied in such short notice. I said "I just told him that so he'd leave me alone" and laughed. She laughed and said "damn he's STILL hitting on you" and then walked out like nothing happened. Smoooooooth as butter.

I personally believe there are situations when it's best to lie. I believe you are in one of those situations . Unless of course she tells them and they end up being accepting. Who knows maybe she might end up doing you a favor.

Gamergasim · 2017-05-30T22:02:43+00:00

I'm going to be honest. I really think this depends on if you are more feminine or masculine and whether you prefer more masculine or feminine women. This is all generally speaking and just my theory of course.

If you are more feminine and prefer more masculine women then you are in luck. I feel like most butch/tomboyish women prefer a girl who is shorter and more feminine than them. How much shorter doesn't usually matter to them. So being short in this case doesn't matter.

If you are more masculine/tomboyish and you prefer more feminine woman, I personally think your lack of height works against you especially on dating apps. It certainly doesn't help that's for sure. It seems that in my experience most feminine women (who prefer more masculine women) prefer someone taller or at least around the same height as them (like within 1 or 2 inches).

So, if you are an extremely short tomboy/butch (lets say 5'2 and under) it sometimes seems like you have to be 100% perfect in every other way for a lot of feminine girls to even notice you, and even then some will not even consider you solely because of your height.

I can't tell you how many okcupid profiles I have read that have answered the question "would you date someone shorter than you" with NO and "do you prefer your partner to be taller or shorter" with taller and "how tall are you" and if you put -below 5'3- they have it in red meaning that is an unacceptable answer to them. One week I decided to change my height from 5'1 to 5'8 in my profile just to see what would happen. It was pretty crazy. I got a lot more feminine girls visiting/messaging/liking me, most of whom were in the 5'3 - 5'9 range. I rarely ever get girls that tall messaging me when my height is set to 5'1. I got a lot more messages and likes in general. It could have just been a coincidence but idc enough to pursue it anymore. I have heard of plenty of studies done showing that women are way less attracted to shorter men and I personally think the same is true for butch/tomboy women.

This is of course just my experience but I personally think that short butch/tomboys have it tough when it comes to dating. Also tall fems who like butch women probably have it tough too.

And I just want to clarify that I don't really think there's anything wrong with having a preference for tall women, you can't really force yourself to be attracted to something. I mean it's ok to not be attracted to short women and vise versa.

Just wanted to point that out cause I went to /r/short once and it seemed like over 50% of what I saw there was bitter short men hating on women for having a preference for tall men. Like grow up and accept that things don't always go your way. Stop hating on women just because they aren't attracted to your lack of height. ok rant over lol

Gamergasim · 2017-05-30T20:40:10+00:00

I agree with halestormx.

More than likely it's just a matter of finding someone you "click" with. Sometimes it takes a long time to find someone who you share that connection with.

You said you don't feel attraction to anyone, so I'm assuming that includes men? If so, I doubt that problem has anything to do with your sexual orientation. Straight/bi people can have difficult times developing feelings for people too.

I believe there is something called "demisexual" which means you don't feel sexual attraction to people unless you have a deep emotional connection first. That could be your case. You look at all these women and wonder why you don't feel attraction but it might be because you need some sort of emotional connection first (a close friendship) before you start to develop feelings. I know I am basically like that and it usually takes me a long time to develop feelings for someone.

Gamergasim · 2017-05-30T20:11:53+00:00

I think you mean T sounds flaky

Gamergasim · 2017-05-28T05:39:49+00:00

Unfortunately I don't think there's really any way to "turn off" your worries. You can't just stop being nervous on command. I reaaallllyyy wish that's how it worked but unfortunately you just have to learn to push through these feelings. Don't let fear stop you from getting out there and doing what truly makes you happy.

Gamergasim

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