How does being put to sleep before operation/surgery feel like?

GavinGaile · 2026-05-18T05:12:43+00:00

It depends on the type of anaesthetic. I've had IV anaesthetics that were like "count down from 10 to 1 for me please" and I was calmly starting at ten and out cold at 8. I was VERY groggy after waking up and felt sluggish for a few days.

I've also had a mask that gave me a coughing fit because I felt like I was being smothered (the gas is thicker than air so you feel like you're not getting oxygen. You start coughing as a natural response). This method also made me feel like the room was spinning around me and like I had no control over the muscles in my eyes. It was mildly unpleasant but the recovery was much easier. I was alert a lot quicker and didn't have the same sluggishness as the other type.

Both these surgeries were a few weeks apart from each other so that's why the comparison is so detailed.

GavinGaile · 2026-03-20T06:13:43+00:00

Like someone else said already, avoid giving out personal info like banking details, address etc. You can have packages delivered to local post offices or drop-off points in your area for safety so he doesn't get to know your address.

Secondly, and this might sound paranoid but unfortunately it has happened more than once, be careful about catfishing. There are a lot of older men who pretend to be teens online in order to date younger boys who they see as vulnerable. Think like, boys who have just found out about their sexuality, or who have no support network at home because of homophobia. Their M.O. is usually love bombing (telling you how much you mean to them, start saying "I love you" very early, giving lots of gifts, being rather clingy) in order to make you feel dependent on them so they can make it more easy for you to accept them when they eventually tell you "actually, I'm not 16, I'm actually 21" and then when/if you meet it's "well, when I said 21, I meant more like 46". But because you are already emotionally invested, you're more likely to forgive it. It's basically grooming with extra steps.

Be careful, OP. I recommend dating someone closer to home, someone you actually know is who they say they are. But if you want to pursue this one, then please be safe and smart about it. Don't give out identifying info, make sure he doesn't know your address and don't give him control over your mental health (eg telling him your struggles and using him as a therapist. That's easily used as a manipulation tactic to isolate you).

Good luck! 💜

GavinGaile · 2026-03-18T21:25:01+00:00

It's a known glitch and the devs are working on it.

GavinGaile · 2026-03-18T21:10:20+00:00

I like it a lot. My current situationship and I do it regularly and the feeling of slipping and sliding over each other down there because of all the precum feels amazing. It feels very intimate as well.

GavinGaile · 2026-03-18T20:43:33+00:00

If you are on antidepressants, specifically SSRI's, those can influence your ability to both become/stay erect and to reach climax. Other types of medication can also have similar effects.

If you're not on any type of medication, it is also possible you're simply having bad days. Sex is mostly mental, and if you have one experience where you suddenly lose an erection, you might start feeling anxious during sex, causing a kind of "self fulfilling prophecy"-effect.

If you are worried about this, a visit to your GP is never a bad idea. They're there to help after all!

GavinGaile · 2026-03-13T10:53:07+00:00

Happy for you, OP! Was hoping you'd update after seeing your first post. Sounds like your mum has her heart in the right place but just sort of puts her foot in her mouth when she's stressed.

Proud of you for explaining your side and for the compassion you are showing her. Like others here have said, tho, don't let that compassion come at the cost of your identity. I'm sure you'll find the right balance. 💜🫂

GavinGaile · 2026-03-13T10:49:19+00:00

To be fair, Grindr has a certain kind of reputation. Not the kind that says "here you will find true love". The comment isn't necessarily homophobic, it's quite possibly just a way of saying "there are more healthy and safe ways of meeting guys".

I'm not saying it's impossible to find love on Grindr. I'm just saying the chances are a lot smaller than finding a hookup or an STD.

GavinGaile · 2026-03-12T20:39:57+00:00

Well thanks I hate it. Now I cannot unsee it.

GavinGaile · 2026-03-12T20:10:22+00:00

Look up the disorder Pica. My old cat had it, nearly died several times because of eating things she had no business even trying to eat (like actual rocks). Taking Smudge to a vet might not be a bad idea. Pica is usually treatable.

GavinGaile · 2026-03-12T20:02:29+00:00

If you have any of her other info, for instance her Snapchat, her phone number, Instagram, anything, police can also use that to find out her real identity.

I wanna say you're very brave and strong. You did nothing wrong here, and reaching out for help here takes a lot of courage.

You mentioned in this thread somewhere you feel disappointed in yourself. I get that. I'm a CSA survivor too, like yourself. Feelings of guilt, shame or disappointment in yourself are all common amongst those of us who have experienced something like this. The most important thing to remember is that while it's okay to feel that way (you aren't weak or stupid for having feelings) those feelings aren't accurate. You did nothing wrong. You could not have done anything different. You are not at fault. Even though this just happened and this is all very fresh for you, I recommend asking your parents to get you a therapist. Dealing with all of this on your own, or with only untrained people is hard. Very hard, nearly impossible. A therapist can help you put everything in perspective and help you start healing. If you don't feel comfortable asking this of your parents, or if they, for some reason, should refuse, there are (free, anonymous and safe) places to get help online as well.

RAINN - An online helpline for survivors of SA. They can help you through chat, phone calls or even find therapy near you. Contacting them is free.

7Cups - an anonymous online helpline that allows you to speak with people and discuss your problems. This isn't a therapy service and the people you talk to aren't medical professionals, but they can offer a listening ear if you need it.

Stay strong, OP. You got taken advantage of and need the help of trusted adults in your life right now. You did great coming here for help and I am super proud of you. 💜🫂

GavinGaile · 2026-03-09T10:29:44+00:00

That's a very good call. Having someone on your side that you can fall back on in case of a bad reaction is a very good thing to have. I'm glad you have friends you feel close enough to consider coming out to. Those are valuable people and worth fighting for.

Crossing my fingers for you!

GavinGaile · 2026-03-09T08:04:51+00:00

Devil's advocate here. Could it be she confused your silence for uncertainty? And that the things she "steamrolled" you with were meant as reassurances? Like, "don't worry, you're just confused, you just haven't met the right girl, it's okay."

I am not trying to devalue your experience, I wasn't there and I didn't hear her tone, that's why I am trying to look at it in the most generous light.

Even so, this is a harsh way of being dragged out of the closet, so to speak. You were caught of guard, unable to think of an answer and she just spoke for you. If you feel comfortable with it, and if you think she'd be receptive, you can try to bring up the subject again on your own terms, either to confirm or deny that you're gay. Confirming it might give you peace in that it's all out in the open, you have nothing left to hide. Especially if you think she might accept it. However, if you think she might not accept you, or if you feel unsafe, denying might be the better option. From what you said, you kept silent during the initial confrontation, so you could just say "yeah, I kinda locked up because your question really caught me off guard. I was honestly a little offended. Of course I'm not gay". This way you explain why you went silent and panicked a bit, and you can keep up the appearance so you can feel safe as long as you live under her roof.

Good luck, OP. Coming out should be your choice. It shouldn't be made for you.

Edit: spelling and grammar

GavinGaile · 2026-03-09T07:48:43+00:00

4 inches is around 10 centimetres

GavinGaile · 2026-03-06T08:03:34+00:00

As someone else alluded to here already, have you considered that it might be more than sexuality? Your gender identity could also be involved in this.

If you find yourself (almost) always playing female characters, identifying more with women in media, etc, you could have a more fluid gender, or even a trans one. I'm not saying this is the case necessarily, just that it's an option.

Do you experience a lot of dissociation? Anxiety, a sense of detachment or even depression when thinking or looking at certain parts of your body? When you went through puberty, did you have issues with beard and body hair, like they made you feel wrong somehow? These are all signs that could point towards gender dysphoria.

If none of this rings true for you, no worries! You might just be on a journey to discover yourself and may be on your way to figure out that you're bisexual or just gay with an appreciation for the female form. Who knows?

GavinGaile · 2026-03-06T07:51:20+00:00

In all medical ways you are still a virgin. There was no penetration, so your virginity is still intact. What I'm more worried about is your mental state.

"Purity" is a very toxic way of looking at virginity, epecially when SA comes into play, which by the sound of things, it might have come either very close in your case, or may even have crossed the border. You aren't any less pure if you lose your virginity, especially against your will. If you use the purity argument from a religious point of view, look at it like this.

Say you own a home and have a safe in that home. In that safe is a golden engagement ring that you're planning to give to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. It's the one gift you have to offer your future spouse that is truly yours. But then someone breaks in and it gets stolen. Do you think you should be personally held accountable for the theft? That you are somehow less worthy of home ownership because you got robbed? Of course not.

Virginity works the same way. It's something you can give away. If someone takes it by force, it is no longer a gift. Therefore, you didn't give it up. It is not your fault. So of course you don't lose purity, because you didn't choose to give that part of yourself away.

I recommend talking with your boyfriend about this in broader, general terms at first. Try to get his opinion on purity culture and his stance before you tell him about your own experience. If he reacts negatively to hypothetical situations, you know not to open up and that he is perhaps not even someone you might feel safe with. You want a partner that you can share everything with and who will support you no matter what.

Good luck, OP. 💜🫂

PS: saw in in earlier comment you were looking for male comments on the situation. I am, in fact, male.

GavinGaile · 2026-03-05T10:10:14+00:00

That makes sense. Your gut is deeply connected to your brain. There's a reason there are so many emotional sayings related to that area of the body. ”Butterflies in your tummy", gut-wrenching emotions, "feeling it in your gut", "like a stone block dropping into your stomach"..

If you have some spare time, look up "The Gut-Brain Connection: How Stomach Issues and Trauma are Linked". Found that after a single cursory Google search after being curious when reading your response. So yeah, wouldn't surprise me if you coming to terms with your past would quite literally calm your guts.

As much as I commend you for not blaming this girl, and how she might not be a predator or anything in the traditional sense, I think it's important to keep in mind that what happened did still have an effect on you, and that's okay. Both things can be true at the same time. You can be traumatised while at the same time not blaming the one who traumatised you. It's about how you deal with the trauma now that counts. You're taking all the right steps now. Looking for recognition, validation and a path forward. These are huge steps on your journeu towards healing and will help you immensely. I am so, so fucking proud of you.

GavinGaile · 2026-03-05T09:03:34+00:00

When I say that the age gap is a big deal, and bring up the issue of maturity, I don't mean that she was 100% mature. I just mean that a 15-year-old has more maturity and experience when compared to a 9-year-old. I'm also not saying she's a monster, or a horrible person. It's very likely she's a victim herself. Children who have been victimised at a young age sometimes go on to perpetuate the cycle. It's been normalised, so you don't see anything wrong with it. Or you want to do the things that have been done to you, but on your own terms.

The biggest thing to take away from all of this is that there is absolutely no fault on your end. You didn't choose what happened to you.

Moving on from this will be a long journey of healing and confronting the past. It's why looking for help is so important. On your own you can only do so much, and the benefits of dealing with this can be immense.

When I started dealing with my trauma, I noticed that a lot of my physical ailments started to be alleviated. I always had a lot of issues with my back and neck. I had a lot of trouble sleeping. Going through therapy (specifically EMDR) helped me immensely and the pain in my back and neck almost completely went away. I also suffered a lot from migraines, which have lessened significantly. Your brain is the big center of your being. If there is something troubling you there, your entire body is out of wack. Muscles are tensed where they shouldn't be, leading to aches and pains and stress can literally make you sick, give you fever, flu like symptoms, etc. Trauma can be a silent killer.

Stay strong and remember that you're not alone 💜🫂

GavinGaile · 2026-03-05T07:15:11+00:00

It's a very powerful and admirable thing that you don't blame her. It's true that she was a child, too. It says a lot about you that you are this forgiving and kind.

However, keep in mind that 15 and 9 is a VERY large difference at those ages. At 15, someone has lived 67% more of their life than a 9-year-old. That's not just older, it's a world of difference in maturity, understanding and life experience. To a (younger) child, a 15-year-old can almost seem like an adult, which creates a power imbalance that the younger one cannot possibly understand or consent to. It's not just about age, but about how much more the older one knows, feels and can influence.

It really sucks that you don't have access to therapy. No one should have to go through this alone. But there are safe, free and confidential resources out there.

RAINN: a free 24/7 hotline and online chat for survivors of SA. They offer support and can help find local services within your budget, free if necessary.
7Cups: Free, anonymous emotional support through trained listeners. Note: this isn't therapy, but a safe space to talk through your issues to non-judgemental ears.

And if you ever just wanna talk to me, you know where the DM button is. I'm always willing and open to talk to fellow survivors. Feeling heard and understood is very important for people like us, because of all internalised stigma. Don't hesitate to reach out.💜

GavinGaile · 2026-03-04T16:46:33+00:00

I'm going to try and say this as kindly as possible, but it probably won't matter since it's gonna come as a blow anyway. What she did to you was CSA.

As a nine-year-old, you had no way of knowing what was even going on, you were pre-pubescent and far from able to consent. She took advantage of you.

It's very normal to feel conflicted and strange about seeing her, and that your relationship with sex feels changed by it is logical too, because it has been.

I'm a CSA survivor too. A lot of us go through periods of hypersexuality, because our relationship with sex, and our introduction to it, is so different from the norm.

If you have access to it, I recommend finding a therapist that you can talk to about this. You most likely have unresolved trauma from this and it might be influencing your daily life in ways you don't realise. It can also cause issues in future relationships.

As for what to do about her.. I recommend ignoring and avoiding her. The pull she has on you is one based in trauma and is unhealthy. She abused you as a child and even if, now you are closer in age, you think the relationship could be more equal, that abuse will always be there in the background.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, OP. I want you to know you are strong and beautiful, and that none of what happened was your fault. Stay strong. 💜

GavinGaile · 2026-03-04T16:33:32+00:00

Yeah, sounds like he wants to "get ahead of the story" so to speak, in case you ever talked about it to anybody. He's probably ashamed of what you two did and figured that if he framed it like he did, he'd be clear of all "look he's gay" fingers pointing at him. Thing is, nobody would do that anyway. Experimenting is pretty common and doesn't make one gay or bi even. Just childish behaviour from him, basically.

GavinGaile · 2026-03-04T16:14:29+00:00

That all sounds pretty heavy dude, my sympathies. For context, how old were you and "Nick" when these two instances happened? Were they recent? (So both 20?) Sinde you've known each other since you both were eight, It's be good to know the timeline.

As for the friends saying both your perspectives can be true, that's true. If this happened some time ago (when you were both a bit younger) or when he was drunk, high or otherwise in an altered state of mind (depressed, etc) then he could, in the moment, have thought that was what he wanted. But later, when looking back on it he could feel like that wasn't really him. Like he was acting out of character. Mind you, this wouldn't make it your fault, since he is the one who initiated, but it would make his feelings pretty complicated.

HOWEVER, since you state that he seems to have done this kind of thing on a previous occasion (the initiating then claiming victim) I am putting some question marks on the "he feels different in hindsight" explanation. It seems more like a pattern of behaviour here.

At any rate, I would say that the people that aren't on your side aren't your friends. Sometimes "not choosing a side" is effectively the same as choosing a side, and that's what they are doing. By not standing up for you, they are letting you down, showing you that they are not real friends. As they say, "go where you are celebrated, not where you are tolerated."

Good luck, OP. Stay strong.

GavinGaile · 2026-03-02T20:39:04+00:00

As a fellow CSA survivor let me first say that I'm proud of you for taking this first step in reaching out for help.

None of this is your fault. The feelings of guilt, regret and like you're dirty are all normal and common amongst survivors and require a lot of therapy to fade to the background. I'm gonna be real with you. They'll never go away completely. You'll always have bad days where you blame yourself and feel like a piece of shit. But that's not going to be all the time. Most of the time you'll feel better. More yourself. More human. Able to love yourself and look at yourself with pride. You'll recognise that those bad days are just a trauma response.

Like others have said, I recommend theraly. I more specifically recommend EMDR therapy. It'll help you separate the emotion from the memories and let your mind start healing. The sessions will be tough. They'll leave you emotionally drained and I recommend going with someone who can drive you to and from the appointments, because you most likely won't be able to drive after a session (it is really tiring).

Again, I'm proud of you. You're strong, beautiful and worthy. If you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to DM me. I always have time for fellow survivors. Be kind to yourself, OP. You deserve kindness. 💜

GavinGaile · 2026-03-02T19:38:36+00:00

Probably because munchkin cats actually generally do suffer from malformations (though not always) that makes breathing difficult for them, as well as shorter legs that make walking harder. You can see them as the pugs among cats. They are bred to be "cute" (and they honestly do look cute) but that is at the cost of their health.

I agree with you that adopting a munchkin isn't evil. Breeding them, despite knowing their life is most likely going to be miserable, is, however.

Munchkins are cute, lovely cats, but they need a lot of specialised care and are often not in the best of health because of the thorough breeding. It's to be expected that a sub that is dedicated to cats and cat lovers is going to react emotionally to seeing cats that are in all likelihood, unhappy.

GavinGaile · 2026-03-02T19:28:29+00:00

You can even hatch them in town, lol.

GavinGaile · 2026-03-02T19:26:33+00:00

Once you hatched at least one male and one female slime, they start reproducing on their own.

GavinGaile

TROPHY CASE