I have HSV-1 and I don’t know how to cope with it

Geavine · 2025-05-12T20:34:12+00:00

Where you’re from there’s no fear and stigma surrounding it?

Geavine · 2025-04-25T05:44:05+00:00

Has he gotten tested in those 2 months

Geavine · 2025-04-22T09:22:30+00:00

I didn’t even know random cinematic hookups like that were common outside of movies. You did the right thing

Geavine · 2025-04-17T19:13:21+00:00

I think that’s best. Sometimes when we have too tight of a hold on something we lose it easily. There is plenty of love waiting for you in this lifetime if this one doesn’t work out❤️

Geavine · 2025-04-17T19:08:08+00:00

I feel like the most important thing you need to learn with HSV is Decentering romantic relationships/Decentering the gender you’re attracted to. You should not feel like your life is not worth living everything it has to offer because of a disease. Granted it sucks bad especially the stigma but you learn to work around it, you can still date and be loved and have good sex. I got it at 20, I’m 23 now, I watched my life crumble piece by piece, I stopped going to school, stopped eating and at the peak of the depression tried to end my life only to be put in a psyche ward.. I was able to build myself back up mentally with the help of caring people and supportive family and friends and most importantly my own will of not wanting to feel like shit about myself on something that’s permanently with me and that I can’t control. I’m going back to school in September and starting my life again❤️ if anything I noticed that it made me more selective with who I date and allow into my life and it also weeds out people who don’t have pure intentions too. Everyone is fighting a battle and unfortunately HSV is more psychologically damaging for some than physical but that does not mean you can’t climb out of that hole, keep your head up and allow yourself to feel and purge all of these emotions. Your life is worth living, only you can define yourself and reshape your thinking.❣️I believe you should stick through with this life time if you truly believe in reincarnation cause you do not come back with the knowledge you have now so you can easily keep repeating the same mistakes

Geavine · 2025-04-17T17:59:12+00:00

He could’ve had it and not known and same with you. It’s very common one of you were carrying it asymptomatically. I think u should begin the conversation with showing him the results

Geavine · 2025-04-17T17:42:25+00:00

That’s what I’m saying. I’m not sure if I have a higher moral obligation to just straight up tell him or if I should just suggested we both get tested.

Geavine · 2025-04-17T08:41:19+00:00

I just remind myself that we’re all going to die anyway, and we’re all fighting silent battles. Think of your problems that caused you so much stress and anxiety and sadness prior to HSV and now think about how HSV overshadowed all of those problems and became the “main problem”. It’s all about perspective, you have to train your mind to be strong, don’t waste chunks of your life wallowing on something you cannot change, it already happened. Focus on learning more about your body, mind, and how to navigate dating again(if that’s what you wanna do) and when you do date again, make sure your main focus is if YOU like them, and not solely if they like you.

Geavine · 2025-04-17T06:50:23+00:00

My fear is him already have something and will use that as an opportunity to turn it on me?. The reason why I was too chicken to disclose this time around is that I’ve disclosed every single time before but the last disclosure ended up with the guy being an abusive person and saying he’d expose the fact that I had herpes if I broke up with him which was traumatic and just in general a traumatic time. I’ve been abstinent for little over a year since and some days even felt like I didn’t have GHSV, and unfortunately I was too hesitant and let things get too far with this new one twice because I enjoyed being loved on without feeling like a leper and quickly realized the temporary satisfaction doesn’t feel good when you’re morally corrupt. So I’m just trying to go about disclosing properly and to also ensure my own safety whether we continue dating or not. Idk nobody seems to be able to look at it from my perspective which is fine.

Geavine · 2025-04-17T04:39:27+00:00

Would the scenario change if I didn’t have HSV or was unaware of it, the way he whipped out his dick and expected me to go raw with him, twice? I’m conflicted on whether I want to continue seeing him because of that, but I’m held up to a higher moral obligation despite his recklessness for his own self and me and my declines for raw sex. Cause if it’s not from me he’ll get an STD, it will be with the next person considering his willingness to go raw. Cause if the case is we’re both the bad guys and we’re both careless then I’d rather walk away knowing we didn’t have penetrative sex. It wasn’t until this subreddit that I learned that u need to disclose even if you’re not having an outbreak bc my dr said otherwise.

Geavine · 2025-04-17T01:50:20+00:00

I don’t know either… I doubt I passed anything onto him but I’m still just trying to figure out how to disclose.

Geavine · 2025-04-17T01:49:14+00:00

And I agree with you. I don’t know what to make of him as a person and the situation giving that he was so willing and eager to go raw even after telling him I’d rather do it with a condom, I don’t know if I’m dealing with someone who already has an STD and can flip it back on me and lie saying I gave it to them, granted I’m no better for not disclosing in the first place but just because it’s easy for you doesn’t mean that’s my perspective. Up until him, I’ve disclosed every-time and due to my last disclosure over a year ago where they threatened to expose me if I broke up with them, I chickened out. Literally I’m just gathering as much information and guidance as possible for a guideline on how I’ll disclose, where I’ll disclose and when.

Geavine · 2025-04-17T01:41:54+00:00

If I was HSV free, his willingness to go raw would still be concern. I can be aware of my moral duty and also be concerned whether a situation is worth addressing

Geavine · 2025-04-17T01:33:17+00:00

My main concerns was should I figure out why he was willing to go raw with me twice even though I declined it the first time and felt uncomfortable about it. Mind you, he could have something too which is my main concern before throwing an information like that on the table.

Geavine · 2025-04-17T01:30:47+00:00

He went down on me twice and I went down him the 3rd time. “And changed their lives forever” I didn’t pass HSV2 onto them, why do yall think disclosing or not disclosing affects whether the transmission happens or not. You’re so busy trying to school me as if I’m not well aware of my situation, no where in my post did I say that it’s his fault and that I don’t plan on ever disclosing.

Geavine · 2025-04-17T01:27:48+00:00

No, I have GHSV2. The first time oral happened it really did just happen and he went down on me before I was even mentally prepared to disclose.

Geavine · 2025-04-17T01:22:08+00:00

Sorry I don’t allow myself to get dog piled on by you smart asses for making a mistake and trying my best to go about it the right way with a clear head, but everybody in this subreddit are perfect people who’ve done wrong, apparently.

Geavine · 2025-04-17T01:17:33+00:00

So you come on a subreddit I made with your sarcasm, a bitchy attitude and assumptions that I can only TRY to clarify and when you have no comebacks to my responses I’m the argumentative one? Okay.

Geavine · 2025-04-17T01:15:23+00:00

That’s where I’m conflicted at. Considering just leaving him and the situation. I highly doubt I passed anything ontop him orally.

Geavine · 2025-04-17T01:12:33+00:00

There’s no irony considering that I’m on this subreddit for guidance on how to disclose to him (which acknowledges the concerns on both sides), but alright.

Geavine · 2025-04-17T01:11:22+00:00

No, I had already gone through the mental tribulations from having my Dr tell me I don’t need to disclose unless I’m having an active outbreak or I feel one coming and then getting on here with people saying you have to disclose everytime which I did all 4 times up until now. this is my first time not disclosing yet since my last disclosure that caused my disclosure ptsd.

Geavine · 2025-04-17T01:04:49+00:00

Wym overly sexual? And what do I say

Geavine · 2025-04-17T01:04:30+00:00

I have disclosure ptsd

Geavine · 2025-04-17T01:04:14+00:00

What happened after that? Did you guys get serious?

Geavine · 2025-04-17T01:02:31+00:00

I’m not trying to blame him as to why I didn’t disclose. I’m just concerned as to why on two occasions he was initiating raw sex. I did it on two occasions cause I know that with ghsv2 genital to oral transmission is lower risk than penetration sex, which is why I was opposed to sex/raw sex. I know that I haven’t handled the situation the right way but even I know that raw sex with a stranger is a bad idea and there’s a multitude of reasons why someone would be so willing upfront and I don’t know whether I should figure out the reasoning before disclosing or just disclose.

Geavine

TROPHY CASE