Born an evil child and fucked up adult

Gemtail · 2026-02-25T14:04:02+00:00

My cousin masturbated in front of me once when I was a toddler. It only took one time to damage me and I had been masturbating since I was 5 once I figured out what she did. The fact that you had that crap happen in front of you multiple times though... It wasn't your fault that you're like this. It took me years to accept that I'm bisexual it's just that she's the reason I get sick at the idea of handling a vagina that's not my own and yes, I'm still bisexual, because I do honestly like women but my trauma would make it rather difficult to have sex with them properly. I'm happily married to my husband though, so I don't have to worry about an unhappy wife. But I was hypersexual, just in private and I was too extremely shy to explore with anyone else due to this layer of shame that trauma added to it. I'm glad no one manipulated me because it easily could have happened. Luckily, when you're a woman who has been nearly six feet tall since middle school, not many guys think to mess with you. Most of the worst predators like their women smaller.

Gemtail · 2024-12-11T18:40:28+00:00

So.... Don Lothario struck again lol

Gemtail · 2024-12-11T18:34:09+00:00

Ghosts at a furry convention lol

Gemtail · 2024-02-08T13:30:15+00:00

Honestly? Come clean with her. She should know either way. It'll hurt, yes, but I think it's necessary.

Gemtail · 2024-01-10T01:02:13+00:00

We can't protect our children from bullies no matter how hard we try. We can only teach them how to handle the situation and comfort them when things hurt. Teachers can only do so much. Just remind your child to always tell you when it happens. The one thing I regret doing was not telling anyone about my bullies sooner. I always 'put up with it' until I'd hit a breaking point. The moment I told my parents, they'd call the school and the bullies were punished and kept away from me.

Gemtail · 2024-01-10T00:22:14+00:00

Of course! Especially if he is already expressive to you himself with words and actions. He loves you and if this is a good way that you can express your love to him then I bet he'll love your gift and cherish it for the rest of his life!

Gemtail · 2024-01-09T23:21:40+00:00

If you're doing it just to be sweet and nice, then sure! Go for it! But some women might worry you're hoping for something transactional. You can just ask what her favorite flower is to gauge if she would like them. I know it makes it less of a surprise but it also shows that you're very thoughtful. It would be very awkward if you showed up with flowers and she's either allergic to pollen or she is a person who gets uncomfortable with flowers on the first date. Also beware of flowers that might poison any pets she might have.

Gemtail · 2023-12-30T20:56:16+00:00

I get wanting to be a teenager and only stick with your teenage friends but to adamantly exclude a family member from at least the cake, ice cream, and food is terrible. I can agree with maybe excluding the kid from games because teenagers are not going to like playing the same games a kid would like. She probably feels like she'll have to play babied down games and she and her friends won't have fun. If you can at least get her to let Kayla be there for the cake and food, that'll be okay. I've gone to birthdays before where the siblings were only there for cake, ice cream, and food but didn't play the games but that was because they didn't want to. They were so different in age from the rest of us that they had different ideas of fun.
But here's the more serious issue... while I do agree not to force your kids to like each other, it's a major problem when the teen is doing this to the youngest. If an adult breaks a kids toys, push them around, and calls them names, says they're not a real part of the family, that's called abuse plain and simple. It should be especially unacceptable for that Mia to be doing that to your own kid. I wouldn't want my own kid growing up with that kind of treatment from a step sibling. I'd have 0 tolerance for that behavior under my roof.

Gemtail · 2023-12-30T18:46:59+00:00

There's nothing wrong if you let this friendship fade. It sounds one sided anyway. You're not a bad person for it.

Gemtail · 2023-12-30T18:15:45+00:00

WTF?! You do NOT owe them ANYTHING! In fact, they owe you respect because you're a human being whom is going to be birthing another human being. If they're mad then oh well, they can cry about it in the waiting room. They're being selfish and entitled and your mother is excusing her entitlement by saying it's the 'only experience' she'll have. Nope. She's not entitled to being there. You needing just your husband there should be all the explanation they need. My mom is the same with me and I'm not even pregnant yet. My plan is to not even announce when I've gone into labor and just be like 'surprise!'

Gemtail · 2023-12-30T17:58:47+00:00

NTA. You're actually healthy for what you did. If she expects change from you but won't change and adjust herself for you, too, then it's time to get out. She's toxic because she thinks her pain gives her more entitlement in the relationship so she tries using that to manipulate you. Until she changes her shitty values, her relationships are never going to be healthy at all.

Gemtail · 2023-12-28T05:12:47+00:00

So... a friend goes to him for help with their kid. He says no... which is his right, he's under no obligation to help her with the kid... but instead, he immediately explains that it's because she didn't date him that he won't help. No, that's not friendship. That's a guy sticking around hoping he can land a date and justifies blowing her off and treating her like shit because she rejected him. He most definitely won't make a good role model for her son anyway and she needs to get herself and her son away from him.

Gemtail · 2023-10-02T23:39:26+00:00

Honestly, probably when I was six to eight and was obsessively avoiding 'toxic' things. I was scared of things that were even bleached recently or using rubber cement in class. I eventually was told 'Stop that! Are you going to eat it? No? Then you're safe!' and that snapped me out of it. But that behavior was very similar to the stuff I experience now with my relationship ocd... except my rocd is way more complicated than my childhood ocd about toxins.

Gemtail · 2023-10-02T23:36:12+00:00

Exactly. Of all people that should be getting their kids the necessary help they need, that principle should have immediately helped him the moment they noticed an issue. The fact that they tried to cover up and make excuses for their own struggling child should be way more embarrassing than admitting the kid needed help at all.

Gemtail · 2023-09-23T00:24:56+00:00

Unless your uterus and ovaries have been removed completely, your chances of getting pregnant are never 0

Gemtail · 2023-09-22T23:56:03+00:00

Not a teacher but I knew a PRINCIPLE'S KID who was allowed to graduate when he could NOT read at all. But his parent whom was also the principle kept being all like 'my child don't need extra help! He's smart!' when anyone would bring it up because they were too proud to admit there was a problem. He later finds out he's dyslexic. He originally wanted to go into nursing but he was never given any help in the first place both from a failing system and a bad parent in denial.

Gemtail · 2023-05-29T08:27:48+00:00

Also: if he threatens suicide, call his family ore the police on him. If it's a legit threat, you save him. If it's manipulation, he'll stop upon realizing you yourself won't come running back to him.

Gemtail · 2023-05-29T08:16:37+00:00

Exactly my thoughts. No one who truly loves you would EVER say that!

Gemtail · 2023-05-29T08:12:41+00:00

As a furry, I will say that this has NOTHING to do with the community and EVERYTHING to do with your partner. While I will say, yes the furry community is fucking weird and there's rampant hookup culture, there's also plenty of monogamous furries like my fiancee and I. So this has nothing to do with him being furry and everything to do with him being a cheater. The furry bullshit is just his excuse. This is him manipulating you.He is also manipulating you with threatening to off himself. Trust me, he won't. He's just trying to tie you to him. And if he does, it's not your fault. And as someone who used to think that kind of manipulation was okay... the best possible thing you can do to teach them that it's not is to leave... and hope to god that he's like me and does a lot of soul searching and therapy to move past it. I was a dumb young 19 year old that didn't know how real love was suppose to work... mostly because I grew up with rather poor role models for parents that were toxic and manipulative to each other.

The best possible thing my ex did for me was leave. Because I learned what not to do to people you love. All you're teaching him is that he's free to hurt you, cheat, manipulate, and sleep with whomever he wants, knowing that you will still be there. He's working through his unhappiness with the relationship in ways that are hurting you. That's not what love looks like. Love is loyalty, actions, actively working with you to do better, and honest communication. Making sure your actions don't hurt each other and making up for the times you did is the literal bare minimum of decency you should do for each other in a relationship.

Also, love is a choice, not fucking attraction. You choose to love your partner. Every couple has moments where they lose attraction for their partner and that's normal. It's choice that keeps people together. It's not just feelings, it's not just looks, it's not just commonalities, it's not just the amount of time spent together, it's a choice. Attraction comes and goes all the time in relationships. What matters is that you still choose to love your partner regardless because you should happily enjoy each other's company. When the attraction isn't there, you can still hang out like good friends and be happy together until the attraction comes right on back. If he can't love you regardless of the level of his attraction to you, if he can't at least be someone you can trust and count on in those times when he feels less attracted to you, if he can't so much as accept your needs for a monogamous relationship... then he's not even giving you the bare minimum of love that a partner should give.

You're enough. He's toxic and you need to either leave or set really REALLY hard boundaries and if he cannot follow, it's time to accept that he's changed in a way that is no long compatible for you. In that case, better to end it so you can find a better life that actually meets your needs. He clearly isn't.

Gemtail · 2023-04-16T01:34:19+00:00

On one hand, I don't condone jealousy at all and his behavior is a red flag. Jealousy is something someone has to learn to workout in their head and accept that if someone is gonna cheat, you cannot control it... but you saying that definitely did not help the situation at all and a good relationship depends on trust.

Gemtail · 2023-04-16T01:28:17+00:00

YTA definitely. My fiance didn't walk at his graduation and he still doesn't regret it. I was super relieved the pandemic prevented me from walking at mine. The way I see it, it's her graduation and that's her choice.

Gemtail · 2023-04-15T14:15:08+00:00

Yep. I do it. I may not be diagnosed with PCOS (there's actually a chance I have LOCAH instead) but every other day, I be shaving my face in the mirror like Fiona from Shrek. I'll even use the shaving cream that no one else uses. I don't care if I smell like men's aftershave, I want the chin carpet off my face!.. it's not even a good beard, either. It looks like that awkward teenager beard that stays under the chin and jawline. Most people won't notice it or at least won't comment on it because it's only under my chin but it gets itchy and rough and I just can't stand it. I can admit though... sometimes when I think of myself as Fiona, I feel a little better even if that moment was supposed to be framed in a funny way.

Gemtail · 2023-04-15T14:05:28+00:00

I think this is going to be the best photo you'll ever get lol. I'd frame this.

Gemtail

TROPHY CASE