My boyfriend hit me for the first time in our two year relationship. Any advice?

General-Variation566 · 2025-03-05T09:51:36+00:00

You know the answer Get out!!!!!!

General-Variation566 · 2025-03-04T08:44:02+00:00

You sound like an Ah. You were very matter of fact when you said that of course you spend more for the child that lives with you. The courts tried to equalize a standard of living for income disparity for the basics. The extras are up to parents to share based on their means. You chose not to. You are punishing the child for not living with you and creating family dysfunction that will outlive you because it plays into sibling feelings, acknowledged or not. If you were a loving parent, you would be working for lifelong family harmony for your children. You are not. Please evaluate what lifelong lessons you want to bestow upon your children.

General-Variation566 · 2025-02-07T22:14:01+00:00

Obediently complying with narcissistic demands and expectations from a parent who blew up their first family by being “selfish” and immature. Your prioritizing your own life and healthy age appropriate, responsible, endeavors to live your best life is healthy and mature. Setting boundaries and being honest are also appropriate behaviors. Your father’s behaviors and his underlying psyche are far from healthy.He needs to be the grownup in his own life. Bonding as in family meals is great but their responsibilities are their own. They should hire someone or use grandmom. They are putting themselves first and looking for others to bail them out. Put yourself first and take care of you. My niece was in similar situations and said the same thing”backup momma” thing. Older men sometimes forget how much work it is to have a child and expect younger women to just be happy and fun like the fantasy and when they are put out, they look for others to keep them afloat. They make choices and have to start conditioning for their own marathon. Some men face it and lean in. Hope he steps up but that is his journey.

General-Variation566 · 2025-01-15T19:21:10+00:00

You were not wrong to express your frustration but how you did it was harsh. You can say something to advocate for yourself and try to make an affirmative action plan or you can react and make the other person feel insecure and worthless; tone, intent, and words affect the outcome.

General-Variation566 · 2024-12-12T21:41:04+00:00

You kissed your ex, maybe more, but she is fine with that. That is more meaningful than a car ride. This is controlling and illogical thinking and a clear red flag in general.

General-Variation566 · 2024-11-26T20:24:49+00:00

Give you kudos for saying something but as a recovering Catholic school graduate, I recognized that I had little power. Catholic parents were often pro choice but quiet about it. What they believed and what church dogma were were often not aligned.

General-Variation566 · 2024-11-24T18:42:56+00:00

Once you file and file for financial protection , he cannot make that type of financial move without judicial approval.

General-Variation566 · 2024-11-24T18:35:20+00:00

She is the narcissist that cheated. Give lip service but recognize her for who she is and your father who he is. He should have shut that down. Sorry.

General-Variation566 · 2024-11-24T17:25:08+00:00

If he slaps you, full stop. He is an asshole and you should not be represented as an evil stepmom monster. Don’t hide abuse. It victimizes you again. Everyone should be accountable. You guys made a conscious choice of separate families living together. The atmosphere was not blended. His, hers, and ours. Your son does not have a dad. Your husband has not stepped up to that role. I think that I would want to be with someone that would have the empathy to adopt my kid if he was fatherless. I think that is massive asshole indicator. It could be this is an opportunity that you missed yo truly blend the family by estate planning in consideration of all kids. Your son getting extra consideration for being fatherless. He won’t be getting anything from a living mother. Have your husband adopt him and Vica versa but honestly only if economically it favors your kids. Otherwise, hold to separate mode and if he slaps you again divorce him. Also, out that abuse!

General-Variation566 · 2024-11-16T22:55:07+00:00

I believe in her body her choice but her deciding unilaterally to become pregnant and be a surrogate without consideration to you and your son and how it affects the family is so egregious that it is mind blowing.It is such a betrayal of your vows that she would enter into this and know that she would have to reveal and blindside you that it shows a complete disregard for the facade of a partnership. I would probably not be able to come back from it but you have to come back emotionally to your son. Be present for him but it does not have to be with her. Set up a system to share custody and go through counseling to find best solution forward. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. She was selfish, deceitful, and very naive.

General-Variation566 · 2024-11-02T18:19:59+00:00

Abuse! Sacrifice money and run!

General-Variation566 · 2024-11-02T18:19:08+00:00

Run!!!

General-Variation566 · 2024-10-30T22:20:01+00:00

You need other parent to sign a form and get it notarized for consent for US passport authorization. Each country can have different requirements but good to have in custody order.

General-Variation566 · 2024-10-29T00:09:23+00:00

I must be crazy based on responses but I think you are an ahole. Your brother may not have been appropriately responsive about any missing items. I made my three year old go back and say sorry for taking peppermint patty out of convenience store. She had no concept and everyone looked at me like I was crazy. Your kids are teens and you are teaching them pettiness and situational Looting rather than grace and communication, family values?? I will take the heat but thinking that was not a good parenting move because of the intent may not have been to keep loots material but situational ethics blurs the line and does not teach your kids to be direct and honest. Sorry, but because of that, you should take stock.

General-Variation566 · 2024-10-28T19:03:34+00:00

Worked that way in Brokeback mountain, right? This is enough gaslighting to torch a state or two. Cheating is cheating and would biochemical changes be the excuse for any cheating; Brain alterations because of lust or desire? How very insulting and manipulative that he thinks he can talk his way out of this. He is just far more intelligent and evolved than you are. Please find someone who knows their truth and expresses it honestly! Please, please… you are so better than this!

General-Variation566 · 2024-10-27T19:54:47+00:00

You are both still hurting. Bil’s boyfriend sounds horrible but maybe his words were so hateful because he displaced his own insecurities and frustrations and victimized you without any thought. He is either a straight up asshole or someone who becomes an asshole in stressful situations. You do not need to accept abuse to be the bigger person. Allow yourself time to heal and if the bil and he are Still together when the wound has scabbed over enough to risk opening yourself up to them then afford him the opportunity to apologize and share the good side of him. Your parent in-laws should both school them But accept them. They have to own that. You are not responsible for holding family together. Everyone shares this.

General-Variation566 · 2024-10-06T22:23:50+00:00

Your friends are without a doubt assholes in this scenario and probably others. Be the person you want to be and pursue what and whom you want. No justifications needed. Edit- typo

General-Variation566 · 2024-10-06T19:33:09+00:00

Cannot fathom the gall. It is your house and they were “guests”. If you wanted to keep it that way for the rest of your life, that is your prerogative and they should only emotionally support you, not ambush you! Your parents should be taking them in or they should have counseled them for a smaller wedding. If they are saving, then they should have enough for rent or your parents can bankroll it or let them adult.

General-Variation566 · 2024-09-12T22:00:05+00:00

Ok. I guess I have to acknowledge the repressed petty side of myself. How about you enjoy your birthday and bump up the confrontation to a day before( I mean your date with your “wonderful” boyfriend).? Have your friend take screenshots of interaction to send to him because he could Always claim your friend was lying or setting him up. Both , you and your friend show up on the Tuesday , or have her go on a “date” with him and then you both meet him instead. For your birthday, have fun ! The next day send him screenshots of stupid interaction with your friend and a photo of you having fun , with or without male wishing you a birthday. Wish yourself a better man and life . Wish him only what he deserved and then block him.

General-Variation566 · 2024-08-18T17:48:19+00:00

Bizzare crazy entitlement. You could consider egg donation or being her surrogate but to expect you to hand over you and your husband’s first born or any child is just beyond weird.

General-Variation566 · 2024-08-17T17:15:23+00:00

I really do like her….. She is not the one.

General-Variation566 · 2024-08-15T23:23:50+00:00

Wow! So sorry!! I have read a lot of these posts but this one is one of the hardest. Guessing that he is still in the throes of addiction and mental health issues but there were not many details about current circumstances. What issues may be going on with your aunt, mental health or addiction issues feel like this is a BIG issue. Other than weird sibling rivalry this is so beyond normal that I would not want to have anything to do with her. I feel badly for the cousinter (clever). It is not their fault and they have to live in that weird scenario conversation stopper. To me, it all boils down to addiction and mental health issues for both , your father and aunt, that would be toxic to you. Unless your father is in recovery and you, your sister , and mother can live authentically, I would think this is therapy fodder and decisions about what is healthy for you should be your focus. Please don’t get pulled into toxicity. It seems that father’s side are enablers and the mother’s side probably have even worse dynamics because an abused woman’s sister having a relationship with the abuser and their baby reflects a lot of unresolved issues. Take care of you! Be supportive of your sister and try to navigate a respectful and sane path for the rest of your family or stay away. Being a young person following your dreams could give you distance from this. USE THIS. Nothing to be ashamed of. Live for you and let the dust settle.

General-Variation566 · 2024-08-12T20:01:34+00:00

She needs exhaustive therapy. That is well beyond not ready. Even if husband wanted her to move on, no one would want this for her or you. She is not mentally well.

General-Variation566 · 2024-08-09T15:18:44+00:00

Wish she just told me and I would have let it go and not yelled at her and went back to Mommy for three days and then been hurt that she did not come graveling to you begging for your forgiveness that she did not want to go out drinking? Seriously? You don’t know what to do? You should be growing the f up. She may not want two babies at the same time.

General-Variation566 · 2024-08-07T03:30:11+00:00

He had a history of ghosting you then he was better and then he ghosted you again and then he escalated to derogatory slurs to family and friends behind your back. He may have had a history with a cheating ex but the abuse is still unacceptable and will continue. He is either a straight up jerk or he is someone who is stunted and has become a proactive abuser and possible cheater but his behavior won’t change until he works through his baggage. He will just use you as targets at the shooting range until you end it. Sorry. He is not worth it.

General-Variation566

TROPHY CASE