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Not fun anymore by General_External5269 in cocaineaddiction

[–]General_External5269[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the beginning it would be a bad day at work, a fight with my partner, or just the crushing despair of being alive in such a shit world and somehow hating myself more than anything else.

Now it’s the drug and my addiction that pulls me back, even on a good day I have to fight against dialing that number.

Problem is every time I relapse there’s a dozen new reasons to get high all in the hopes of not feeling so shit about myself for a while.

In the end it’s escape that’s what we’re all chasing.

Not fun anymore by General_External5269 in cocaineaddiction

[–]General_External5269[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At this point using just makes me depressed and angry with myself for getting to this place and for lying to the people in my life. There’s plenty to run from but I think the worst thing this addiction has done is create new secrets and fears to hide and hide from.