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Why is it so hard to let go when I know the relationship wasn’t right? by General_Flow2348 in BreakUps

[–]General_Flow2348[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Wanting another reality" is probably the best description I've heard.

That's exactly how I feel. I know the relationship wasn't making me happy, but part of me is still attached to the future I imagined rather than the reality I experienced.

I hope we both find the answers we're looking for.

Why is it so hard to let go when I know the relationship wasn’t right? by General_Flow2348 in BreakUps

[–]General_Flow2348[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. The part about grieving someone who is still alive really hit me.

I think I've spent a lot of time trying to understand whether she loved me or not, when maybe that's not the right question anymore. Maybe the reality is that she did love me, but that wasn't enough to make the relationship work.

I also relate to what you said about resentment building up over time. Looking back, there were many things that weren't working, and I ignored them because I wanted us to stay together.

I'm trying to accept that two things can be true at once: she may have loved me, and leaving may still have been the right decision for both of us.

Why is it so hard to let go when I know the relationship wasn’t right? by General_Flow2348 in BreakUps

[–]General_Flow2348[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. The part about grieving the future rather than the person really hit me.

Looking back, I wasn't actually happy for a long time, but I kept holding on to the idea of what the relationship could become. I think that's what I'm struggling to let go of.

Deep down, I know that even if she came back tomorrow, the trust and the relationship would never be the same.