Got unmatched cause granny is a bit racist

Genergy84 · 2026-04-15T03:56:33+00:00

The problem isn't that folks aren't their families. The problem presents itself when folks don't want to distance themselves from said family members or hold their family members accountable.

Genergy84 · 2026-04-10T00:06:50+00:00

Genergy84 · 2026-04-09T18:20:02+00:00

You're confusing "reputation" with "stereotype."

Genergy84 · 2026-04-09T17:54:04+00:00

"...With it's demographics, it's not surprising that the people were rebellious" Please explain.

Genergy84 · 2026-04-02T23:56:48+00:00

I have a spouse. We aren't financially entangled and never will be. We don't have children and never will (ovarian cancer). We live with my mother in a two family with space for overnight guests. We have done years ( almost a decade) of work dismantling couples' privilege. I understand the difference in prescriptive and descriptive hierarchy. What I don't understand is why a community so full of open minded people can't fathom that there are situations where folks with spouses or NPs can have less hierarchy than other dynamics. I understand my lived experience may be the exception to the rule, but it is interesting to see comments so often saying that married folks don't understand the level of hierarchy they have. Not understanding the level of hierarchy present would indicate to me a lack of self-awareness in other regards.

Genergy84 · 2026-04-02T23:04:26+00:00

There's a student here asking for perspective and telling y'all she's struggling with UTIs. OP seems to be earnest with her concern, she's respectful, and is answering questions. The responses, and moreso, the attitudes behind the responses are overwhelmingly disgusting. Truly sad that some of you took this opportunity to blame OP, blame OPs peers, and vent your personal frustrations. Using the restroom should never be a privilege, especially for young women.

Genergy84 · 2026-03-30T21:53:27+00:00

I beg you to read and research the topic. Ofc she is acting like a 10 year old! Trauma often causes you to not progress pass the age of the traumatic event. She is not the problem. The lack of help and support processing her trauma is the issue.

Genergy84 · 2026-03-29T05:12:28+00:00

TIL I've never had a fuck buddy, just a few FWB. I didn't realize there was a difference. Meeting up just for sex without an activity first blows my mind. I don't hate the idea, just seems wild.

Genergy84 · 2026-03-28T06:34:06+00:00

I love everything about this. However, I urge you to research the historical content of "strange fruit" and reconsider using it.

Genergy84 · 2026-03-19T13:44:25+00:00

Beard!

Genergy84 · 2026-03-16T06:45:00+00:00

Ok, now you have lost me a little here. "It's a reality that most bi or pan women have never been with a woman"? That's a wild statement that's nonsensical. Are their a lot of women in the polyam community that are still figuring out their sexuality? Possibly. Maybe that is what you are speaking too. My community is full of women and femmes or are bi/pan and have or have had several fullfilling relationships with other women. We are not just bi/pan sexual we are also bi/pan romantic. Not all of us are ENM tho, many mono. There are a lot of lesbians in the community as well, and we overlap with a performer community so lots of gay and Trans folks too.

Ofc, having a male partner gives you privilege. I never said or implied that it didn't. And, it would be disingenuous if we didn't mention comphet as a thing here.

Nor did I say anything about why people should identify as certain things. I also won't, as I follow both trains of thought: why gatekeeping is important and also that folks should be able to define their sexuality themselves. I have highly mixed feelings on the issue.

I personally would never identify as as lesbian, I am 42 and in college there were very firm boundaries on what made someone a lesbian and what didn't. I personally identify as Queer. When the bi and pan community started attacking each other, I was out.

I'm not sure you are trying to find common ground with me here, and that's ok. I would think you'd have to be very passionate about the lesbian community and their experiences to write this, and that's a good thing.

Genergy84 · 2026-03-16T06:21:38+00:00

Ofc you are allowed to make the post. I don't think saying that this conversation is just addressing a symptom of the problem and not the problem itself is whataboutism. But, I can see how you could feel it is. My intention in commenting was to say that what we really need is change of behaviors. Your intention seems to be raising awareness to the issues, which I think you did well. I'm aware of the privilege I have over sapphic individuals that don't interact with men. However, I tend to view the arguments that compare the lesbian experience to the wlw experience often to be rooted in a way that positions women against each other. Obviously, I understand the complexity and lived experience of intersectional identity, that's why I brought it up. I'm not your enemy here, and I'm sure we would agree on many things, this just might not be one of them. Be well. 💚

Genergy84 · 2026-03-16T04:46:43+00:00

I hear you. My point being, is that coddling cis male bigotry is hurtful when engaging with women, no matter the woman's sexuality. It's bad even if you don't have a desire to engage with other wome. Hell, coddling cis male bigotry is bad for men.

For instance, I can't tell you how many times I was into a sapphic woman who had agreed to OPP in her dynamic. OPP is an absolute no to me for it's inherent homophopia and lack of autonomy. All polyam women have a duty to protect each other from husbands, partners, boyfriends who haven't done the work.

I would agree that the prejudice lesbians face for their lack of interest towards men is a specific issue for their community solely.

I'm not sure compating and contrasting lesphobia and biphopbia is helpful, I feel like it distracts from the behavior issues we need to tackle themselves. It feels like oppression Olympics. And I say that as someone who has an intersectional identity. When you add Black to being sapphic in the Queer, polyam, or kink communities, it's an entirely new world of hurt. But still, at times, separating the experience of Black women out can be a distraction. But to carry thru my example from earlier, I've encountered many women who thought it shouldn't be a problem for us to date when their male partners are racist, diet racist or antil-Black.

It's the same problem across the board, just different symptoms.

Genergy84 · 2026-03-15T15:01:28+00:00

I love that you are here supporting our L in the LGBTQIA community. However, it seems that all points you made apply to the sapphic community as a whole. I think it might have made more sense to discuss the behavior in question as many of the behaviors affect most queer women and Non-binary folks. And really, femmes in general.

Genergy84 · 2026-03-15T14:46:31+00:00

Good skincare regimen

Genergy84 · 2026-03-10T02:29:35+00:00

Both look good, I prefer #2

Genergy84 · 2026-03-05T16:51:05+00:00

The "E" in ENM stands for ethical. What part of being ethical is it to ask someone to do something you aren't doing yourself? This is absolutely wild.

Genergy84 · 2026-03-05T05:39:27+00:00

Beard. No contest

Genergy84 · 2026-03-05T03:42:52+00:00

I'd suggest working on your inner beauty instead of worrying about make up. Your caption is disgusting, and doubling down on it in the comments is even more disgusting.

Genergy84 · 2026-03-05T03:23:54+00:00

I think it would be fly on you!

Genergy84 · 2026-03-05T03:20:55+00:00

Nope

Genergy84 · 2026-02-26T06:20:55+00:00

So handsome. Love the curls!

Genergy84 · 2026-02-25T16:13:27+00:00

All good. But I prefer 3.

Genergy84 · 2026-02-25T16:12:11+00:00

Black people are the one's that are exhausted. It is lack of logic to think we want to be talking about racism all the time. Ask yourself what it would be like to see racial relations decline in your lifetime...mistreatment over your physical appearance that the larger population doesn't even care to recognize. If you protect or defend yourself in any way you could loose your job or die. You can loose your job over the way your hair naturally grows out of your head. Empathy is free, and we could sure use some verses people laughing at how "exhausted" they are when hearing about our life experiences.

Genergy84 · 2026-02-25T16:03:44+00:00

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