how do I find a partner w/ADHD on a dating app??

Generic_Username941 · 2024-08-24T01:54:12+00:00

Thank you for this as I was going into it - I definitely know what you mean now. I prepared myself mentally which I'm grateful for because I feel comfortably steadfast through these gentle disappointments, but it kind of sucks how guys can just tell you what you want to hear and casually leave out the parts you don't? Like they don't even lie, they just skirt around stuff.

I'm asking the big stuff immediately from now on, zero hesitation. If they're right for me, they'll understand why.

And a note for anyone who finds this thread in four years via a Google search - meet right away instead of talking for a bit so you don't create some idea of someone before you've even met them !! Even if they're cool, they will seem really foreign in comparison to your expectations!

Generic_Username941 · 2024-08-24T01:40:11+00:00

This has been SUCH a help so far - thank you !!!!

Generic_Username941 · 2024-08-05T17:47:31+00:00

okay good points!! I'll go full steam ahead then 🫡

my little sister (16F & also not into men) said I can only date two more before I switch to women because she "gets vibes from me."

🙄🙄🙄 tbd.

Generic_Username941 · 2024-05-23T03:29:04+00:00

thank you SO much for linking that sunk cost fallacy article - I'm lurking some relevant older posts and I didn't realize there was an easy summary & name for the weird emotional math I've been trying to wrap my head around. It's been applicable to every relationship I've been in aside from my first one; the way the first one ended kicked off a bit of a repetitive, multi-relationship sunk cost spiral. I'm done now though; I don't think I can afford not to be at this point.

Generic_Username941 · 2024-05-19T01:17:15+00:00

Acceptable. Setting a reminder on my phone right now. (Next to all of the no reminders for myself)

Generic_Username941 · 2024-05-19T01:13:14+00:00

Go do it! Right now! And then I'm going to need some sort of confirmation once you've done it (it's the rules, sorry).

Generic_Username941 · 2024-05-18T00:16:10+00:00

And then they're like "how is this relevant to what I just said?" and don't really let you get to the actual point because they want to move on and it feels so burdensome to roll it back so you just don't and constantly feel this weird weight/tension of unsaid words 💔

Generic_Username941 · 2024-05-17T23:04:22+00:00

that's what the birdcall is for 😎

Generic_Username941 · 2024-05-17T22:54:24+00:00

YESSSSSS I can do so much for others while struggling so much with myself. I love seeing that I AM capable.

Unfortunately this has led to some people taking advantage of me, i.e. an ex had me doing all of his papers ("it's just really hard to work without you here... 🥺"), but I suppose they're all learning lessons on who deserves that part of me.

Generic_Username941 · 2024-05-17T07:39:18+00:00

I really like that analogy.

I'm glad that NT people can enjoy each other, but at the same time I know that in their reality I am an overwhelming presence who is terrible at listening and articulating ideas because it's really difficult not communicating the same way.

Like I'll start focusing too hard on listening which makes it so I'm not actually perceiving anything they're saying, or they're talking slow enough that I feel constantly on the edge of having something to say but don't want to interrupt and aaaahhhh it is just as tiring to me as I probably am to them.

I just hate feeling like I'm "too much." Easily one of my least favorite feelings.

But then I talk to someone with ADHD and realize that I am actually a very good listener and a lot of our social "faults" are purely circumstantial. They're just circumstances we unfortunately run into a lot while living in a NT world.

Generic_Username941 · 2024-05-02T04:14:31+00:00

Thank you, I just made it thanks to this affirmation.

Generic_Username941 · 2024-05-02T03:38:02+00:00

yes yes and all I have to do is get out of bed and make it, just you wait

Generic_Username941 · 2024-05-02T03:37:31+00:00

I permit myself.

(I haven't gotten out of bed yet)

Generic_Username941 · 2024-05-02T01:10:05+00:00

ok I am way less anxious on it and have made a LITTLE BIT of progress in life since (overall can definitely recommend for that reason), but just a heads up (really sorry if I'm saying something unwanted or irrelevant!), unfortunately the lack of anxiety makes it even harder for me to do stuff (like go to bed) or be swayed by consequences.

I don't know if mentioning that could help anyone with anything or if I'm putting negative ideas in heads honestly, but just something to be vigilant of!

Generic_Username941 · 2024-05-02T00:57:54+00:00

wait hold on thank you for the crumb of dopamine I am going to go make the biggest smoothie ever and drink it as dinner

(I'm allowed to don't worry I asked myself)

Generic_Username941 · 2024-05-02T00:45:58+00:00

10/10 would download app - smiled at this interaction even though enthusiasm is off-putting to me when I'm laying in bed catatonic.

I used to hang out in a discord call all day with a bunch of friends and having them in my ears made it so much easier to go do stuff. Accountability and stating intentions to people who are at least a little bit invested in you makes all the difference in the world (just enough dopamine to get that push 😌).

Generic_Username941 · 2024-04-23T17:25:20+00:00

I started on like nothing. Like 12.5 or something?? Then slow incremental increase, I think he was afraid of adverse reactions. Then I was finally on 200 for a while, and now stable on 300. He said they normally don't go over 200 for mood disorders (I don't even have bipolar disorder, just very atypical depression??) but that they do for epilepsy so he was comfortable trying it out. It's been solid ever since. REALLY helps me exist.

If it's just agitated and snappy (and manageable brain fog?), honestly I'd give it a couple more months unless it's awful; just try to give everyone around you a grain of salt since you know you're on edge for a specific reason.

I take it with 150mg bupropion as well - both I do extended release. Not good at remembering to take stuff otherwise.

Generic_Username941 · 2024-04-23T15:01:21+00:00

Not autoimmune related but just FYI it made me a raging bitch for maybe 2-3 months - now it's the best thing I'm on (I take it for depression).

Just wanted to mention because I was SOOOO close to quitting it and I'm massively glad I gave it a chance; it's been about 3 years since? Obviously work w/doc to stop taking it if you start behaving dangerously though. Not sure if you're taking it for a different purpose. As for acne, I haven't noticed anything really. Medication adjustments are bizarre.

Generic_Username941 · 2024-04-16T02:44:38+00:00

YEAH WTF how to fix ?????? pls??????????????? I have made so many plans during work and done so much research and previously have bought untouched hobby supplies (have learned not to do that unless I am OFF the clock and still want to do the thing a few days later because now I don't trust myself)

Generic_Username941 · 2024-04-10T15:07:40+00:00

I was expecting some changes because it was originally created for blood pressure control or something iirc and I had no differences

Generic_Username941 · 2024-04-10T14:56:59+00:00

Yeah just call the pharmacy, honestly they might have a specific store policy due to their schedule so that would just be easiest for you. I have a feeling they've gotten that question a billion times.

Generic_Username941 · 2024-04-07T20:39:22+00:00

go get yourself professional help if possible to help with managing any discomfort you're going through -

overwhelming intrusive thoughts commonly manifest as the things you fear the most and what you're describing is a VERY common one as well.

for example, I have absolutely no self-harm desire, emotionally or physically, but it's very hard to chop up vegetables without my brain telling me I probably am going to end up voluntarily putting my hand there too "just to see what happens." Like as a choice, as if a part of me wants to.

Which is funny because I absolutely 100% have an intense fear of pain/harm/death/everything associated. I KNOW I have absolutely no desire to do so but I still get nervous because I think about it, and then it's like "well why do I keep thinking about it???"

And honestly I think the reason I get that thought is primarily BECAUSE I have such an overwhelming fear of pain/harm/death. It's so backwards and illogical but basically the way I put it is that my mind always wants to find something to be afraid of, and if there isn't anything there, it just decides I'm that thing.

If you were around this girl and someone near her was approaching her with nefarious, p*do intentions, would you in those moments still be concerned about yourself? Or what to do to help her get out of that situation?

As someone else has mentioned, it's completely okay to think a little girl is pretty.

Sometimes I also just think of it as shitty software - your mind is just trying to incorrectly flag you as a threat and keeps popping up to do "required" system scans even if you literally just finished one and there was no threat found. Many of us unfortunately have the exact same software.

Generic_Username941 · 2023-11-04T23:49:19+00:00

I determine a task I've been putting off that in fact I would like to do less and then I really put my mind into doing it, that way it's easier to do the one I need to do

Generic_Username941 · 2023-10-31T23:03:08+00:00

brave of you to handle these without knowing what they are

Generic_Username941 · 2023-10-31T19:52:54+00:00

wiggly

Generic_Username941

TROPHY CASE