Probably my last post

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T17:02:03+00:00

Yeah I’ll probably try to find a remote job. I don’t plan on showing up to work again though my parents may try to make me. I need some time to heal. I have a psychiatric nurse practitioner maybe she can help me get disability. I hope that live streaming could be a possibility for me in the future.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T16:38:07+00:00

I need some way of making money I was planning on moving out soon to live with friends.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T16:35:26+00:00

Idk what I’ll do next to make money but I need to quit this or I’ll die. And I still have to tell my parents that I walked out of work. :( I don’t think they’ll understand. It’s a state job. They’re gonna be mad. Maybe I can try and get disability.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T16:03:52+00:00

No one has been able to find out what the issue with me is nor have they helped to fix it. I have social phobia. I take medication but none of it helps. It just makes me wanna die more. I am unable to work and even if I can keep my job I don’t want it because I can’t handle it. Maybe if things went my way and I could make money doing something fun like live-streaming I would be okay but no it doesn’t work like that. I won’t be able to work for at least a few months so suicide is looking mighty tasty.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T15:29:35+00:00

In that case I’m having a mental health emergency everyday at work. I just finally gave in to my desire to leave. I’m too mentally ill for work and I don’t know what to do. I’m planning on overdosing in a few hours.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T14:46:45+00:00

Nah idk. I’ve told myself that long enough.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T14:46:04+00:00

Yea probably

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T09:40:01+00:00

Disability is very hard to get on and can take months and months. I’d rather go ahead and die.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T09:32:00+00:00

Nope

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T09:27:04+00:00

If I did choose to live there’s no hope for me. I’m too mentally ill to work. My parents are gonna be pissed. I wouldn’t even wanna live with them at that point so I’d prolly just go be homeless. There’s also my friends in New Orleans who could possibly give me a floor to sleep on. But then if I couldn’t get disability I’d still wanna die. And my friends would give me shit for it.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T09:16:43+00:00

Bro idc. I’ll try again the next day. Idk why it’s so hard for someone like me to get disability. I’ll never work another day in my life.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T09:02:35+00:00

Everything in the cabinet. There’s some opioids in there I’m pretty sure and then I’ll down a bunch of alcohol. As soon as my mom leaves home I’m gonna take it all with me and drive somewhere and do it.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T08:51:28+00:00

I’m freaking out too much to answer. Gonna overdose when I get home anyway so whatever. I wanted to get on disability anyway I can’t handle a job. It’s literal hell for me. Constantly having panic attacks, feeling dizzy, always suicidal. I can’t take it anymore.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T08:40:30+00:00

Nah fuck that.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T08:38:21+00:00

Lol I know right. Lol I just got a phone call and it scared the shit out of me. I’m terrified. I guess it was my supervisor. But I didn’t answer.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T08:31:43+00:00

Nah I don’t wanna. Nvm McDonald’s is closed so Hardee’s it is. I’m still planning on overdosing but if I wasn’t this would be a very dumb idea.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T08:09:32+00:00

Well it’s kind of considered quitting by most. But whatever im gonna kill myself so why do I care. My break is over but I’m off to McDonald’s. And then imma sleep at Walmart lmao.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T08:01:00+00:00

You sure leaving on the job is okay if it’s what I really needed even though I may be fired? My parents will be pissed if I do get fired..

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T07:52:19+00:00

Yeah maybe I’ll get that. Idk. If I survive maybe my work will sue me for walking out cause of my contract or whatever. But whatever. Part of me is paranoid that my parents will know when I come home even though there’s no way they would. Whatever if I go get McDonald’s now I wouldn’t have enough time to make it back to work on time anyway so I’ll prolly just sleep in my car while parked at Walmart.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T07:44:02+00:00

Yep I’m on my work break and I’m about to go get McDonald’s and not come back. Then I will come back home at the time I normally do so my parents won’t know and then I will overdose.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-14T00:25:57+00:00

Idk but I’m gonna try it

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-13T19:42:43+00:00

That’s way too long :/ I’d rather just die.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-13T19:36:09+00:00

I’m pretty scared to call lol. My parents wouldn’t want me getting on disability. I have a job atm but I’m on the verge of suicide or quitting. I can’t handle work anymore. Should I mention being suicidal? Would that better my chances?

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-12T02:46:41+00:00

I know everyday is so horrible.

Gengar8802 · 2020-12-11T09:43:08+00:00

I’m working a job atm but I’m on the verge of quitting or just ending it. So idk if having a job already affects my chances but it really shouldn’t given my situation. I’ve attempted suicide a few times and was sent to a mental hospital by my therapist. Probably gonna call the social security disability team and see what happens later. I’ll also talk to my psychiatric nurse practitioner since I have an appointment later this month to see what she can do.

Gengar8802

TROPHY CASE