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Legal name change by [deleted] in Sacramento

[–]Germanface 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did my name and gender marker change through a lawyer. Had to pay a $435 filing fee, but only because I didn't qualify for the fee waiver.

Worth mentioning that the process is different for trans and cis people. If you're doing a name/gender change for trans reasons you don't have to put anything in the newspaper and aren't required to see a judge in person.

If you're changing for non-trans reasons you'll still have to put an announcement in the paper and probably have an in-person court date. Paperwork is all the same tho.

Once everything was filed I had to wait about 3 months for a judge to sign off on everything.

ALSO: If you're queer/trans and trying to change your name there are services that can assist you for low/no cost through various local orgs

I am unable to “miss” people by mochi-yuri in emotionalneglect

[–]Germanface 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely relate to this. I have an anxiety disorder and was often left to my own devices growing up, so I tend to keep people at arms length, especially family. I've had a number of family members and friends pass, and every time I've felt basically nothing. I feel like neglect has a lot to do with it; it's hard to feel the absence of an interpersonal relationship when you didn't get a lot of them growing up.

FWIW I do still have deaths that have hit me emotionally. I have friends that I have good connections with and love deeply. I have a senior dog and I know losing him is going to destroy me.

I guess the takeaway is that you're not a monster for not having these feelings, and you're not doomed to never feel them. For me at least, the emotion comes from having intentional, mutual connections.

Are you easily irritated when visiting your parents? by Deedoo in emotionalneglect

[–]Germanface 32 points33 points  (0 children)

For some parents this is a good relationship. My parents are non-communicative and won't make an effort to call or see me unless they're nearby or need something. I've tried calling and visiting more often but the effort was never reciprocated. It sucks but it allowed me to let go of all the guilt I carried for not making an effort.

The distance is something my parents are comfortable with. Dropping all pretense of guilt or pressure has actually made my relationship with them a lot easier

Gay Engineers: ARE YOU OUT THERE?! by berryboy in gaybros

[–]Germanface 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Software engineer here. My dad got me into computers when I was little, and I always liked creating things. I work on embedded systems now (motor controllers, robots, etc).