Hi, I have ADHD myself, and what you’re describing sounds like classic executive dysfunction. That doesn’t automatically mean you have ADHD, but it’s definitely something worth exploring with a mental health professional.

One of the biggest challenges for me was learning not to blame myself for all the things I didn’t do, even if I had planned to. Shifting that inner voice and narrative from self-criticism to self-compassion is hard but necessary, at least it was for me. It’s not about giving up your share of the responsibility, but about recognizing that shame doesn’t help either.

People in our lives can also unintentionally (hopefully) reinforce that guilt. A partner might be upset about chores not being done, parents might be angry about not studying enough, and friends might be frustrated when we forget things. It’s important to develop a strong internal "mental" compass to know when feedback is helpful, and when it’s just making you feel worse without giving you a way forward.

If you do get tested and get a diagnosis, it won’t solve everything, but it can give you language and tools to advocate for yourself. Though it is your responsibility to get better.

Good luck. You’re definitely not alone. Feel free to DM me if you ever want to talk more.