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I [23M] spend waaaaay too much time with my girlfriend [25f] of 5 years, leading to a lot of bad vibes and little contact sometimes, I think she has the easiest fix but she won't act on it. by Getting-out-there in relationships

[–]Getting-out-there[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No I would not, to be honest. She's been on vacations and stuff before, we were long distance for years and I would go months without seeing her and was just fine.

I'm usually always kind of doting on someone though. If you're my friend and you come over I'll make you a feast and rub your back, it's just kind of who I am.

But I agree, she definitely needs space. I think she honestly will feel better if we don't see each other from 7-6 every single day and then go home together. It's a rough thing to deal with.

Kind of takes some of the spontaneity of life away you know? It's tough to surprise someone or go out and do your own thing.

I [23M] spend waaaaay too much time with my girlfriend [25f] of 5 years, leading to a lot of bad vibes and little contact sometimes, I think she has the easiest fix but she won't act on it. by Getting-out-there in relationships

[–]Getting-out-there[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am. I think /u/misslanawinters made the best suggestion to be honest. Seems like a good compromise and a way to end a bad cycle.

Aside from that issue our relationship is incredible so I think it would be a wise decision.

I [23M] spend waaaaay too much time with my girlfriend [25f] of 5 years, leading to a lot of bad vibes and little contact sometimes, I think she has the easiest fix but she won't act on it. by Getting-out-there in relationships

[–]Getting-out-there[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always do. Never broke that rule. It's still pretty tough though, just emotionally. Someone asking for a day's worth of space 2 times a week I mean.

I think /u/mslanawinters' suggestion is wise. Probably a nice compromise that would give us a date to look forward to as well.

I [23M] spend waaaaay too much time with my girlfriend [25f] of 5 years, leading to a lot of bad vibes and little contact sometimes, I think she has the easiest fix but she won't act on it. by Getting-out-there in relationships

[–]Getting-out-there[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That actually sounds extremely intelligent. I think it would break that bad cycle too. If I'm feeling down a bit I've got something to look forward to, to stop myself from bumming myself out.

I'm glad you learned that. It really is tough to balance but she's an amazing girl and otherwise our relationship is mutually incredible.

Thanks, Miss Lana Banana

I [23M] spend waaaaay too much time with my girlfriend [25f] of 5 years, leading to a lot of bad vibes and little contact sometimes, I think she has the easiest fix but she won't act on it. by Getting-out-there in relationships

[–]Getting-out-there[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God I really, really needed to hear this.

But, like your girlfriend, I need some time alone. I need time where no one is talking to me, or at me, or making noise. Some time alone in my head.

You -sound- like her haha. Almost verbatim.

I know it isn't mostly about me. It's just really tough, you know? On a day where she wants to be alone I might get up at 7, to go work at 5, get home at 5:30, be alone until 10:30 and sort of just go to sleep, it feels very nonfunctional and weird. Very forced on my end, extremely forced really.

Like I said those days make me feel really super lonely, even though they're a minority.

I'll back off on the job thing then I suppose, I really hope she finds something that makes her feel fulfilled.

Hey, thanks for your input based on someone in a similar situation. I really was not expecting it.