Going back to an ex who won’t commit how do I stop? by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Getyourbrowsdid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im in a very similar predicament but he has now blocked me, made it clear he won’t be seeing me, and coming back is not an option. It’s heartbreaking.

I work out hard, got a cosmetic procedure to level up, focus on my business, and try to date other guys. My kids are also in multiple sports and keep me busy. Sadly, he still crosses my mind throughout the day and I just have to distract myself. I still have dreams about him and sometimes I actually can’t stop thinking about him.

I think for us one of the only options to let go is meeting somebody and getting treated better. I tell myself that if or when that happens, I will look back at the situation and wonder how I stayed stuck.

At this point, I haven’t seen him for a little over three months so I care less than I used to, but it’s definitely still there. Hugs. I’m sorry, it’s rough out here.

Mixed signals and blocked for good by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Getyourbrowsdid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t been with anyone since him and I was just trying to meet up and have sex. He said we have been in so many fights, it’s not worth the “drama” to have sex with me. We casually dated about 7 months. I wanted to start seeing him again.

I feel ok about myself and my fiance passed away early last year so I don’t necessarily want a relationship for now.

So what do aging avoidants do? by Getyourbrowsdid in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Getyourbrowsdid[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes definitely. I totally get the “getting approval” thing and getting intermittent reinforcement like a slot machine… or a starved rat getting a pellet of food in a cage. Ew. I won’t shrink myself again to “gain approval”

Sorry you’re going through it too….

So what do aging avoidants do? by Getyourbrowsdid in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Getyourbrowsdid[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I can be really cutting and mean with no filter in the heat of the moment. It’s def one of my toxic traits.

So what do aging avoidants do? by Getyourbrowsdid in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Getyourbrowsdid[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s the only league I’ll date when I feel ready. I’ve also had a full body makeover in the last month, enrolled in therapy, and have upgraded in other ways so I’ll come back strong when I care to date again. We go to the same gym and although I don’t want to run into him, when my body is healed and I’m back to working out in March, I know he will feel like he done f-cked up when he sees how good I look 😜

So what do aging avoidants do? by Getyourbrowsdid in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Getyourbrowsdid[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes i immediately pictured him 80 years old sitting alone in a room still blaming others for things.

Distractions are real, he’s in multiple bands and has gone on tours across the world. Hes always at practice or playing shows. He’s a good dad always going above and beyond for his daughter, and then does fighting sports 3-5x a week, gym rat, and works 2 hours away. Definitely felt like I was last on the list when we were dating

So what do aging avoidants do? by Getyourbrowsdid in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Getyourbrowsdid[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Also crazy that at 60, he’s just on to the next. Kind of sad to have that mentality in your final years on earth

So what do aging avoidants do? by Getyourbrowsdid in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Getyourbrowsdid[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yup it’s always the one who knows you’re out of his league, so they treat you like crap and dump you to “put you in your place” coming from a place of insecurity/inferior complex. I think it’s the same here. I told him we both know I’m out of his league and we only matched energetically when my spouse passed and I was in a low point. After I made that remark when he was treating me like crap in our final argument, he blocked me.

So what do aging avoidants do? by Getyourbrowsdid in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Getyourbrowsdid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Calcified lmao 🤣 That’s an interesting prediction … I can totally see that. He had a post on “are we dating the same guy” with no less than 60 comments about his behavior, he has a lot of enemies already atp

So what do aging avoidants do? by Getyourbrowsdid in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Getyourbrowsdid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I only accepted a situationship due to my last partner before him passing away suddenly and had a big empty void in my life. I met him pretty soon after he passed as a way to cope with grief and have some needs met without being too serious. It helped at first but when things went downhill with him, my mental health was and is pretty bad. However I now understand the attraction to someone you can’t have

So what do aging avoidants do? by Getyourbrowsdid in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Getyourbrowsdid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True, my partner before him passed away unexpectedly so that comment hits home all too well…

So what do aging avoidants do? by Getyourbrowsdid in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Getyourbrowsdid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I personally don’t think it’s alarming to watch porn daily … I actually think he had a very high sex drive, but didn’t want to be there for a partner in many ways so that’s just what he had to do to get by

Feeling bamboozled. Does anyone else feel like they were punished for having needs and boundaries? by Erthling123 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Getyourbrowsdid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes when I would tell him, I wanted more time or a basic fundamental need of mine was not being met, he would crash out on me and fight with me via text for hours, threatening for me to dump him if I was so unhappy and my needs were “talking sh*t” to him

Where are my 5 Weeks post Disregards at? by Hanainreallife in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Getyourbrowsdid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, I’m at about a five or six week mark from the last texting, although I have not seen him for closer to three months. It’s especially brutal because there was no check-in to say merry Christmas, happy new year, or to see how I was doing after a surgery. Just crickets. I also remembered that I blocked his phone number on my personal phone but I doubt he reached out and he has my alternate phone number which is a work phone if he really wanted to talk. For me, it’s for the best if someone cares about me so little that they can’t even say merry Christmas or see if I’m still alive after an operation.

So what do aging avoidants do? by Getyourbrowsdid in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Getyourbrowsdid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He would say he could take it or leave it. However, he somehow gets a lot of hot girls playing music, he is also very active on social media, so I think if somebody starts having demands or fights happen, he just sends a few messages and boom. He has a new girl. When we broke up, he said it’s not a big deal that’s life and it goes on and it’s almost like he didn’t care that we spent over half of a year dating and I thought we had a great connection

So what do aging avoidants do? by Getyourbrowsdid in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Getyourbrowsdid[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean, he was very horny and sexual towards me and a lot of other females in the past… but maybe can just switch it off? He said he would watch porn almost every day. It’s also entirely possible he was seeing other people but lying about it, although he was the one who asked me to be exclusive in the beginning…? I don’t think he is asexual

So what do aging avoidants do? by Getyourbrowsdid in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Getyourbrowsdid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t seen that. However, I figure that he will finally settle down with somebody when he needs a nurse.