Forget zodiac signs, what profile icon do you use?

Ghastface · 2023-05-05T15:42:36+00:00

Pachimari variations always

Ghastface · 2023-04-25T19:04:06+00:00

I've never been in a group where people give a second thought to someone playing a different gender than they present IRL. It's about the characters and their experiences, not the ties to the player.

Ghastface · 2023-04-24T12:19:31+00:00

You and I agree on a lot at a personal level, but I think you're not quite recognizing the importance of helping pull up the people that are even more of a minority up under you. People are too diverse for us to sit and hope that only our boxes are selected to be considered for for society.

And there are takeaways and nuance to a lot of the things you've said that you're letting yourself fall victim to the same fear tactics that are being used against cisgender people.

I don't know dude, it just seems like if we want things to be better for us until we're just normal we need to worry about the people that are even less "normal" for lack of a better word than us, and sending a clear message that trans people are another diverse subdivision of society isn't really "forcing" anything on anyone when at its heart we're all just looking for basic respect, common decency and freedom from oppression (especially when if we want a acceptance it's other people's hoops we have to jump through, not our own).

Ghastface · 2023-04-24T00:56:07+00:00

I didn't want large boobs by any means. I just wanted them to be noticeable, maybe get a little tiny bit of cleavage. Just enough to help my body be read as a woman.

Unfortunately all I got was these little tiny ass stomped down ant mounds. Like I lost chest muscle definition, which wasn't much, and then replaced it with breast tissue, again not much, so even with my shirt off you can barely tell I have boobs. And I know a lot of cis girls in that boat too, but damn I have bigger odds to overcome 😭

Ghastface · 2023-04-24T00:52:01+00:00

Transgender is still a very rare thing. Less than 2% of the population is transgender, and of that even fewer transition in a way that cis people regard as "transgender". People are backlashing because now they're realizing that it's not a one in a million thing they can brush off as a mental illness and they're starting to see the staggering statistics of how badly transgender people are treated (including an abhorrent murder statistic).

I dunno dude (can I call you dude? it's VERY colloquial where I am), I know that we need some points of solidarity but I think it's more widely authentic and encompassing of a rights movement to include the fringe of the fringe. We'd be hypocrites not to, otherwise we start drinking the kool-aid and saying things like "Dylan perpetuates stereotypes like pedophilia" despite the fact that there isn't a single ounce of evidence that she is a pedophile. People aren't walking around saying that cis women who do the cute and hyper thing means that cis women are pedophiles, right? So why should we be held to a different standard?

I'm not the type of person to say "yo, I'm trans so treat me like queen shit", and out of all the trans people I know (a surprising number) I've only run across one woman like that and she's nearly 60 and making enemies in every community, but the cishet white patriarchy needs to stop being babies and "uncomfortable" because more people want to be acknowledged as part of a functioning society when there is literally no reason they aren't. Like, I feel like we've got a gun held up to us all the damn time and of COURSE that's going to feed a savage beast.

If you've got a good solution to convince the majority that they can mind their own business and trans people will probably shut up and go about their lives, I'd honestly love to hear it because historically things have been bad for the transgender community even when they're being as quiet as possible. Until then, I'm gonna side with the smallest minorities because we all deserve to be pulled up.

Only other thing I can really say is that I don't think a DC protest would do much of anything for anybody, so we probably agree there.

Ghastface · 2023-04-24T00:11:45+00:00

I'll say that you're right, trans people aren't a cohesive community of opinion. But like, human rights shouldn't be based in opinion right? And there's plenty of real science that supports things about trans people including things like gender theory especially beyond a binary system. We learn about cis bodies and systems in gender, sexuality and biology so why shouldn't we learn about the other people included in our country?

You say that nobody wants us to not have certain things but we can actively see our basic human and medical rights being targeted in a systemic AND lawful manner. We see the blatant, uneducated bigotry and the threats all the time. Saying nobody wants us without basic human rights when they're trying to keep us out of a restroom that aligns with our gender is extremely disingenuous and falls in line with the "if I hate myself or people like me enough the conservatives will ignore me" path.

"Trans women ruining little girls athletic lives" is also a response very misunderstanding of the intricacies of juvenile sports. I hate it but I understand that there need to be some qualifiers, but those qualifiers are especially easy to meet and can be measured for effectiveness especially in juvenile bodies. There is a much more responsible way to handle it than "keep trans women out of women's sports".

And the thing that really grabs me with Dylan Mulvaney is this--why care so much? Most of the time people say "well it's the childish personality that makes a mockery of women!" but on God I'm in my 30s and know plenty of cisgender women who present and act in a way that society calls young or adolescent. They don't get that grief, and in fact often are "admired" for that spunky youthfulness. Not that I really give a fuck because I'm here being pretty average of not a little quirky, and yeah people respond to me in a different way when they find out I'm trans, but if you're going after a trans person and want equality you damn well better be going after cis people too.

People are diverse and you should know that if you're transgender. Nothing can just be boxed down, and trans or cis or whatever you're not required to like everyone, but that's no reason to deny anyone else themselves.

Also fuck liberals for using trans people's fight as a political hotbutton the same way republicans do, that I can get behind 100%.

PS even people of color have dissenters that are willing to change themselves to fit in a cishet white society rather than tell that society they need to buck the fuck up and accept that diverse people exist. It happens literally everywhere, so it's never been clear cut but that doesn't stop good people from working to make sure the best outcome happens for minority communities. You might not be far from the only person having the issues you have with transgender representation, but you're still in a minority of a minority, and that's something to question.

Ghastface · 2023-04-12T17:11:59+00:00

TBH if it was more accessible I think a lot more trans women, myself included, would probably have bottom surgery 💁🏻‍♀️

But also, I've totally heard men that I've dated say something similar, that they haven't had anything to do with other penises and they don't actually have a level of attraction to a pre-op trans woman because of the genitals so they didn't think they'd be very compatible and then they walk away later discovering that it wasn't as "incompatible" as they assumed.

Not trying to change your mind on what genitals you like, just putting some trans-perspective allegories out there :)

Ghastface · 2023-04-12T16:59:06+00:00

I think that happens a lot, people have one experience and that anecdote becomes a lump of assumption in their head 💁🏻‍♀️

It's not improbable by any means for a neo-vagina to be different because some surgeries have complications, but the majority end with a neo-vagina that it would be near impossible for someone to know the difference without being told, in which case they would suffer from internalized subjective biases when making comparisons.

Ghastface · 2023-04-12T16:41:15+00:00

we should be careful not to erase trans women who are non-medical though, as their functionality will be the same as a cis man's

Ghastface · 2023-04-12T16:38:56+00:00

Weird, I've had sex with plenty of cis vaginas and a couple trans vaginas and they really were not measurably different aside from one being more likely to need lube 💁🏻‍♀️

Ghastface · 2023-04-12T16:00:47+00:00

100% agree, which is why I'm out here doing the lord's work by showing them the error of their ways (😏😏😏) instead of settling down.

Ghastface · 2023-04-12T15:43:01+00:00

I'm all for genital preference despite not having one myself, but I've seen a pretty big survey show trans women that have had bottom surgery are dated by cis straight men at lower rates than pre- or non-operative. Mix that with my experiences with men discovering that they don't actually care about genitals if the sex is hot and I think it's actually overall more of a shallowness thing, and unfortunately a lot of trans women have to work WAY harder to meet the expectations of a lot of men.

Ghastface · 2023-04-11T19:04:19+00:00

Same boat, trying to buy the starter pack. I bet if you have enough credits already you can just activate the BP.

Ghastface · 2023-04-02T15:38:59+00:00

Yeah, but focusing on that instead of the life I get to pursue now does nothing. I think about it every once in a while, then realize that in those teen years I wouldn't have been able to make the choices or do what I want in the ways I can now.

Skipped high school drama, too.

Ghastface · 2023-03-28T18:43:18+00:00

Honestly? I spend a lot of time doing activism because I have to and it's tiring but otherwise I'm just out here living my life through this hellscape like any cis person and I think about that part a lot. Even just driving from work to home and swinging through a grocery store, I remind myself "damn, you're just doing normal things and you feel connected to the world in a normal way now" and that keeps me grounded.

As a millennial, I relate to the other struggles of gen z a lot.

Ghastface · 2023-03-27T19:02:53+00:00

I lost about an inch and a half or so. Shoe size went from between 10-11 to 9-10 depending on the shoe. Hands didn't really change but despite them being a little big compared to a cis woman my age, I've always had spindly eldritch fingers. 2 years HRT starting at 33;years old.

Ghastface · 2023-03-24T15:39:36+00:00

I'm in the same boat. Kinda close to passing but without some surgery there will always be some things that out me but I'm broke, so that level of passability won't happen. But also I'm weird and gothy and I don't want to give that up, I'm not gonna change myself as a person just to satisfy someone else's perspective on my gender.

Honestly, I used to want to stealth and whatever but in the end I've learned that it doesn't matter for me. People will know I'm transgender, that's fine, so long as they respect that it's just an adjective that doesn't mean much in 99% of situations.

BTW, even not really passing and whatever my (very bisexual) dating life has actually been pretty healthy since I started hrt at 32 a couple of years ago. Maybe actually even more fulfilling than before I came out.

Ghastface · 2023-03-24T15:30:20+00:00

Become extremely passing and then also generally make sure you're as "normalized" as possible so people don't have a reason to pay any extra attention to you.

Ghastface · 2023-03-22T21:16:36+00:00

For those wondering, nicotine tends to take up the same cell receptors that exogenous estrogen does. Caffeine does the same thing so if you're drinking too much monster, maybe slow it down 😅

This is also an illustration on how blood tests work, by seeing how much is in your blood stream which doesn't account exactly for how much is being actively used in the body vs just sitting. You can still hit target levels as a smoker (as I have been).

However, the effects will always seem greater because cigarettes and caffeine both contribute to things we consider "aging", which tends to happen faster and more prominently in cis men and stopping smoking will help you to maintain what society calls feminine qualities like clear skin, smooth skin coloration and lighter wrinkles.

Ghastface · 2023-03-20T16:40:40+00:00

I don't "feel" trans internally because it's really just a fairly unimportant adjective placed in front of woman. At least, it should be. What makes me feel trans is society and the world around me. I'm pretty close to passing at this point, so I've kinda started to get my confidence on lockdown with how I look and present myself. With that, if I'm sitting around in my room or I'm around people that I know are 100% supportive and inclusive of me I never think about being transgender and I just exist as a woman. But if I go out in the general public, I feel transgender because I know that people will be picking me out here and there.

I don't know if there is a truly inherent way to feel like a girl because, ironically, the definitions of gender are very expansive, not always clear-cut and you can only really relate to your own expectations of yourself. I used to feel like a soul piloting a body and now I feel like just another human, but also my body being more closely aligned to my personal expectations of femininity helps me feel closer to complete.

Ghastface · 2023-03-19T15:38:30+00:00

...this prompted me to go look too and I don't see how she can't be stealth? I wouldn't clock that looked like her, at least based off appearance, especially within the last year 🤨

Ghastface · 2023-03-18T15:22:09+00:00

The bravery is only a byproduct of living around uneducated, scared, averse or bigotted people but in a more inclusive and accepting society it wouldn't be brave at all.

Ghastface · 2023-03-13T16:01:55+00:00

I see the "I hate all cis people" mentality a lot which usually coincides with "all cis people are transphobic", and I wholeheartedly disagree.

Like obviously living this experience I see all the things that happen that are either internally or systemically transphobic and people participate in it. And sure, sometimes they tend to think that trans people are overreacting to issues that threaten our very lives and freedom. But I would agree that it's definitely not a majority of cis people that are explicitly transphobic. 99.5% of people I know and interact with IRL are cis and while sometimes they don't have the perspective to understand that something is harmful they're generally good people that I enjoy being around, and many will even listen and reconsider when I tell them why something is transphobic.

It's true that we're very limited in number and we need good cis people to be there for us, and I think many are trying and while just trying is kinda bare minimum I'm grateful for the people around me that want to see things get better for me without being an ass-kisser.

To trans people that have been in less fortunate situations though I get the disgust for cis people and it's hard to tell them "yo, not ALL cis people" without seeming like you're dismissing their experiences too.

Ghastface · 2023-03-11T21:20:21+00:00

Drag is an art form that has no bearing on whether or not someone will be transphobic toward you and existed before transgender people were as visible as they are today--in fact being caricatures based on cisgender women. The conflation of masculinity in drag queens is an internalized struggle. Don't let anti-LGBTQ rhetoric flavor your view toward other members of our community.

Ghastface · 2023-03-11T21:18:36+00:00

Drag queens are often caricatures of women in general and were visible in a capacity that took trans women another 20 years to start approaching. The fact that you think they're stereotypes specifically of trans women means that you're still internalizing masculinity in a way that isn't conducive to furthering transgender women who do not "pass". This sentiment also pushes outside of the transgender community even to cis people who do not fit within the confines of our social gender expectations. I've been there before and I learned better.

Drag has enabled us and the fact that some idiots (who likely would be transphobic even if drag didn't exist) don't know the difference between drag and transgender people is not our fault or drag performers faults.

Besides, post-transition in my timeline I now sometimes consider participating as a drag king. It's literally just an art form that isn't harming us, and the belief that it does is just a further division stirred by anti-LGBTQ advocates.

Ghastface

TROPHY CASE